Author Topic: Darwin Awards  (Read 1745 times)

SPARX

  • Member
  • Posts: 2070
Darwin Awards
« on: July 05, 2005, 05:48:00 pm »
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when
 > the Darwin Awards
 >
 > are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
 > Here then, are the
 >
 > glorious winners.
 >
 >
 >
 > Darwin Award Winner: When his 38-caliber revolver
 > failed to fire at
 >
 > his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,
 > California,
 >
 > would-be robber James Elliot did something that can
 > only inspire
 >
 > wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the
 > trigger again. This
 >
 > time it worked.....
 >
 >
 >
 > And now, the honorable mentions:
 >
 >
 >
 > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger
 > in a meat cutting
 >
 > machine and, after a little hopping around,
 > submitted a claim to his
 >
 > insurance company. The company expecting negligence,
 > sent out one of its
 >
 > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
 > and lost a finger.
 >
 > The chef's claim was approved.
 >
 >
 >
 > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
 > space for his car
 >
 > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
 > vehicle to find a woman
 >
 > had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
 >
 >
 >
 >
 >
 > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
 > Zimbabwean bus driver
 >
 > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to
 > be transporting
 >
 > from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
 > admit his
 >
 > incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
 > and offered everyone
 >
 > waiting there a free
 >
 > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
 > hospital, telling
 >
 > the staff that the patients were very excitable and
 > prone to bizarre
 >
 > fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
 > days.
 >
 >
 >
 > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital
 > recovering from serious
 >
 > head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
 > asked how he received
 >
 > the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
 > trying to see how
 >
 > close he could get his head to a moving train before
 > he was hit.
 >
 >
 >
 > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
 > bill on the
 >
 > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened
 > the cash drawer,
 >
 > the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in
 > the register, which
 >
 > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
 > from the clerk and
 >
 > fled, leaving the
 >
 > $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
 > got from the
 >
 > drawer...$15.
 >
 > (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money,
 > is a crime
 >
 > committed?)
 >
 >
 >
 > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
 > badly. He decided that
 >
 > he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
 > window, grab some
 >
 > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and
 > heaved it over his head
 >
 > at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit
 > the would-be thief
 >
 > on the
 >
 > head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
 > window was made of
 >
 > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
 >
 >
 >
 > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience
 > store, a man
 >
 > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
 > immediately, and the
 >
 > woman was able to give them a detailed description
 > of the snatcher.
 >
 > Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
 > They put him in
 >
 > the car and drove back
 >
 > to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
 > car and told to stand
 >
 > there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
 > officer, that's
 >
 > her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
 >
 >
 >
 > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
 > man walked into a
 >
 > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
 > flashed a gun, and
 >
 > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he
 > said he couldn't
 >
 > open the cash register without a food order. When
 > the man ordered onion
 >
 > rings, the clerk
 >
 > said they weren't available for breakfast . The man,
 > frustrated, walked
 >
 > away.
 >
 >
 >
 > A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
 >
 >
 >
 > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
 > motor home parked on
 >
 > a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
 > for. Police
 >
 > arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled
 > up next to a motor
 >
 > home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said
 > that the man admitted
 >
 > to trying to
 >
 > steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the
 > motor home's sewage
 >
 > tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
 > to press charges,
 >
 > saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

hitman

  • Member
  • Posts: 632
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2005, 01:35:00 am »
That's just as bad as the old man in Glen Burnie, MD that started his car and inadvertently locked his keys in the car.  He couldn't get back in the car, and couldn't get a hold of anyone who had a spare key.  So rather than call the cops or locksmith, he went in his house to take a nap.  After several hours, and the car was still running, he decided the best way to get the car to stop running was to take his electric vacuum cleaner and siphon the rest of the of the gas out of the tank, thinking that this would stop the car from running.  Needless to say he turned the vacuum cleaner on after putting the hose in the tank, sparked a fire, and is now burned 70% of his body.  
 
 I'm so glad that it was cheaper to go through all of that, rather than get a damn locksmith.

Shadrach

  • Guest
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2005, 03:31:00 am »
Learn how to copy and paste, that is just painful to read.

SPARX

  • Member
  • Posts: 2070
Re: Darwin Awards
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2005, 01:30:00 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Shadrach:
  Learn how to copy and paste, that is just painful to read.
Oh,I know how. Just forgot on that post and it's too late to edit out now,sorry!they're pretty humorous though if you can look past the >>