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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: on March 15, 2006, 10:54:00 am
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Worst 10 SNL Cast Members of All Time (http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=2246&SectionID=3)
Jimmy Fallon:
This guy, admittedly, could have been funny and he had the chops for a decent impersonation or two. The problem is the only thing he will ever be remembered for is smirking, breaking, and laughing at himself uncontrollably. If only Lorne Michaels had the balls to yell ??Get your shit together; half that stuff you were laughing at wasn't even funny!? Fallon doomed himself to this list with his self-love. Plus he worked way too hard for that messy hair John Mayer wannabe look.
Memorable Character: Nick Burns. You??re Company??s Computer Guy
Colin Quinn:
Talk about range! Whether he??s playing a slow-talking New York construction worker, a slow-talking New Yorker at a ball game, or a slow-talking New Yorker in New York, the impression was always dead on. Quinn was also responsible for the most painful tenure at the "Weekend Update" news desk in SNL history. We don??t know whose idea it was to put the heavily accented, apparently barely literate cast member with an achingly stilted delivery at the helm, but bravo! The worst was when he actually had to try to act and banter with his guest correspondents. Excruciating.
*Note* Both writers of this piece have personally met Colin Quinn on separate occasions and found him to be a very cool and likable guy. We both proceeded to hypocritically stroke him off and tell him what a genius he was. However, this does not change our overall opinion of him as a performer, and, as he is not in the room with us right now, we feel the need to viciously tear him down. We are not proud men.
Most Memorable character: Joe Blow. The blue collar New Yorker.
Charles Rocket:
Okay, let??s see, we need a replacement at the "Weekend Update" news desk for Jane Curtain, Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd. This is gonna be tough. That??s a lot of star power there. Hey look! It??s Charles Rocket! Jackpot!
Lack of talent aside, this stiff should have been forbidden to appear on any form of television for his name alone. It??s not even a porn name, it??s a name that a seventh grade kid would give himself to try to sound cool. Charles Rocket committed suicide in 2005, having inadvertently come to the painful realization that he was Charles Rocket.
Most Memorable Character: A wretched impression of Ronald Reagan.
Ellen Cleghorne:
Okay listen up everybody, we need a black woman! Quick! People are complaining! We need to prove that we??re progressive and ??with it?. What? Does she need to be talented? Of course not! I don??t expect miracles! Funny? Well, that would be nice, but once again, beggars can??t be choosers. Let??s make this happen, people. Who??s this? Ellen Who-horne? Keghorne? Great! Where??d you find her? On the bus. Well that??s lucky. Has she ever performed before? No? That??s good. It??s raw. I like raw. Give her a dressing room and put her front and center in the new cast picture. The future is now!
Most Memorable Character: Queen Shaniqua, The Angry Black Woman. (no really!)
Horatio Sanz:
If only Chris Farley was somehow Spanish, less funny, and always looked like he had just been sniffing glue more often. There ya go!Awesome! He excels at making a sub-par sketch enjoyable for the cast by making them laugh, but not so much the viewing audience. And we??ll also throw in that he graduated, with honors, from the Jimmy Fallon Smirk and Break In Every Scene University.
Memorable Character: Spanish Guitar player on the Antonio Banderas?How Es you say?...Ah yes? Show.
Julia Sweeney:
??Pat Sketch #97: How about we put Pat in a row boat with a guy that is supposed to be a physical trainer and he has no idea what gender Pat is. Won??t that be funny?? No?.
Known for no other character(or anything else really), Julia is forever etched in peoples?? minds as ??Pat?, the androgynous oddball whose single premise sketches seemed to keep coming back over and over and over, regardless of how dead the joke was. The only consolation may be that she is now probably harassed on the street daily by strangers doing their best ??Pat? impersonation for her. ??You made your bed Julia?.Ewwwwww uuuughhhhhhh??
Memorable Character: Pat
Tracy Morgan:
Tracy, you can stop doing your impersonation of a retarded black man anytime now. Seriously, this is a different sketch Tracy. What outreach program did you say you were from?
Memorable Character: Brian Fellow, Host of ??Brian Fellow??s Safari Planet?
Jay Mohr:
What a glorified extra this guy was. Mohr proved that stand-ups do not always make good SNL cast members. You might remember him as ??Cop in background? or ??Confused fan #4 at football game in a sketch that featured an actual funny person?. Mohr gets special notice on this list for thievery. At one point he got so desperate for face time that he actually blatantly stole a sketch idea from a fellow comic and put it on "SNL". He wrote all about this in his book. The beauty is that the sketch still bombed, and so did his self-involved book about the whole experience.
Memorable Character: Rock and Roll Real Estate Guy. Ouch.
Victoria Jackson:
I still hear this woman??s voice in my nightmares. Once again, we must address the issue of range. How many parts did they assume this one-note blithering idiot would be able to tackle? I went to high school with ten girls just like this. Why were THEY not wasting my time on "Saturday Night Live"? Victoria is currently featured on Celebrity Fit Club where she lost 22 pounds and still left fat. She??s also a devout Christian fundamentalist which does little to distance herself from the ??Moron? impression she left on people while on SNL. If you go to her websitewebsite you??ll see that she??ll be ??performing? at the Promise Village Home for Children with "SNL" Alums Joe Piscopo and Father Guido Sarducci on June 30. And no, I??m not making that up.
Memorable Character: Bimbo.
Good Burger: (Do you need to know his real name?):
??Hey guys! Do you need an impression of Al Sharpton this week? No? How about Bill Cosby? No? Anyone want to see my knuckle puck*? Fuck this! I??m going to go host 'Super Sloppy Double Dare'?
We can only imagine that on the set of "SNL" everyone calls him "Nickelodeon". He hasn??t treaded too far from his days of doing sketches on ??All That?. If there was only a way he could go back. Our hypothesis is that Lorne Michaels lost a bet with someone at Universal studios.
Memorable Character: None
*Knuckle Puck is a reference to one of the best movies of all time. Mighty Ducks 2. It's hilariously bad. Rent it. Watch it. Love it. Waste 90 minutes of your time in the name of kitsch.
Honorable mention:
Tim Meadows:
He had the longest tenure of any cast member in the history of SNL (ten years) and all he has to show for it is the ??Ladies Man?.
Memorable Character: Lionel Osborne Host of ??Perspectives?
Laraine Newman
She was about as funny as she was fat. This anorexic twig rode the coattails of the original cast and disappeared into obscurity. We assume she was doing more blow than Chevy Chase so she didn't make the list.
Memorable Characters: Connie Conehead
Garrett Morris:
Often appearing both surprised and confused, Garret's appeal was that he always looked like he didn't know what was going on. We suspect that Garrett didn't actually know that he was on a television show.
Memorable Character: Chico Escuela
Jim Henson's Muppets:
Though only appearing during the 1975 inaugural season, and not resembling anything from the actual Muppet show that would arrive a year later, ??Jim Henson??s Muppets? debuted on "SNL" and played to an absolutely silent audience each week. As a childhood fan of the later "Muppet Show", I have no justifiable explanation for this. To us, it would be like having Rob Zombie appear on ??Blues Clues?.
Memorable Character: That one monster that sounded like Rolf the Piano playing dog.
The 1980-81 Cast
Often described as the quintessential worst season of "SNL" to date(which is saying quite a bit), the 1980-1981 cast was given the impossible task of reigniting the fires of comedy after the last remaining originals left, along with Lorne Michaels, the year before. They failed miserably. When your Power Player is Joe Piscopo, you are in for a LONG season. They could not be listed, as there were too many of them and most were gone the following year, so their names would be as foreign as Chinese opera stars in Texas. The closest you get to star power in that line up was Laurie Metcalf, and I think the chick that played Bull??s Girlfriend on "Night Court". She might have been in there too.
Shitty Nepotism:
An interesting phenomenon in SNL history is the hiring of the siblings of popular cast members in hopes that they too will be funny. The practice has been a colossal failure. If you think Jim Belushi is miserably unfunny, (and he is) just check out some old episodes featuring Brian Doyle Murray and, no joke, Peter Aykroyd.
FYI Lorne?
Josh Myers is still looking for work? Don't even THINK about it!
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you are wrong about Horatio Sanz and good burger.
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Forgot Melanie Hutsell... She was the absolute worst!! All she ever did was make the same stupid face. Her only redeeming quality was her Jan Brady imitation.
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how about a top 10?
1) Phil Hartmann
2) Mike Myers
3) Dan Aykroyd
4) Will Ferrell
5) Eddie Murphy
6) Bill Murray
7) Dana Carvey
8) Chris Farley
9) Norm MacDonald
10) Jane Curtin
honorable mention:
David Spade
Tim Meadows (unfairly maligned)
Michael McKean
Darrell Hammond
Gilda Radnor
this obviously isn't a "best alum" list, because then you'd have to throw in martin short, chris rock, and a bunch of others
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How do you exclude Belushi?
Originally posted by All UNI Base Are Belong To Us:
how about a top 10?
1) Phil Hartmann
2) Mike Myers
3) Dan Aykroyd
4) Will Ferrell
5) Eddie Murphy
6) Bill Murray
7) Dana Carvey
8) Chris Farley
9) Norm MacDonald
10) Jane Curtin
honorable mention:
David Spade
Tim Meadows (unfairly maligned)
Michael McKean
Darrell Hammond
Gilda Radnor
this obviously isn't a "best alum" list, because then you'd have to throw in martin short, chris rock, and a bunch of others
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I often think that Billy Crystal, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer get overlooked when it comes to SNL.
Guest and Shearer both appear in my all-time favorite SNL skit... the men's synchronized swimming.
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Originally posted by All UNI Base Are Belong To Us:
4) Will Ferrell
R.I.P.
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Jim Breuer = Not very funny
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I loved Tracy Morgan as Brian Fellows. That was the only funny thing I've seen on SNL in the last 10 years. Not that I've been watching.
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Originally posted by ggw?:
How do you exclude Belushi?
an egregious omission, i agree ... he'd probably go in around 7-8, no higher
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Originally posted by FREE RANDY
Jim Breuer = Not very funny [/QB]
Common, goatboy was one of the funniest in my opinion, although that usually differs from everybody on here. His standup doing AC DC is freakin' hilarious.
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Norm Macdonald, easily one of the least funny characters on that show.
No Gilda Radner?
And I have to say, I think Ellen Cleghorne and Tim Meadows had some classic stuff...The Russell Simmons Def Comedy Magic Jam, Amy Fisher (One Messed Up Bitch), Coldcock Malt Liquor...I loved all those.
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Originally posted by P.J.:
Forgot Melanie Hutsell... She was the absolute worst!! All she ever did was make the same stupid face. Her only redeeming quality was her Jan Brady imitation.
I thought her Jan Brady and college girl skits were worth her being on the show as little as she was. But of course, most people on here will probably not agree.
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the best tim meadows bit was when he played that weatherman, john-john mackey.
Announcer: Are you tired of little boys trying to talk like weatherman, telling you what the weather may or may not be? Then turn to News 4's John-John Mackey and his Storm Tracker Accu-Cast. John-John doesn't just tell you about the weather. He grabs that bastard weather and pounds it into little, pathetic shards. Then shoves those shards into your pink, puffy face.
John-John Mackey: When I see a storm front coming, I'm all, "What's up, bitch?!" And the storm is all, "Not, much, Sir." And I'm all, "That's right, bitch! Now, go make me a sammich!"
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Originally posted by BookerT:
the best tim meadows bit was when he played that weatherman, john-john mackey.
lionel osbourne (it's sunday, three-twenty in the am, and that means you're watching "perspectives") and johnny cochrane were my favorites, oh and "G-Dog" was great too ... i can't see how they'd have him as one of the 10 worst
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Originally posted by bearman:
Norm Macdonald, easily one of the least funny characters on that show.
i feel like norm is one of the most polarizing cast members ... i loved him and would definitely find a place for him in my top 10
his "impressions" were fantastic ... bob dole, larry king, burt reynolds, etc, etc ... and his one guest hosting spot featured the best monologue of all time:
"Norm MacDonald: When the people here asked me to do the show, I've got to say, I felt kind of weird. I don't know if you remember this, but I used to actually be on this show. I used to do the "Weekend Update" news routine, you remember that? That's where I did the make-believe news jokes. That was me, you know? So then, a year and a half ago, I had sort of a disagreement with the management at NBC. I wanted to keep my job. Right? And they felt the exact opposite. They fired me because they said that I wasn't funny. Now, with most jobs, I could have had a hell of a lawsuit on my hands for that, but see, this is a comedy show. So, they got me. But, now, this is the weird part, it's only a year and a half later, and now, they ask me to host the show. So I wondered, how did I go from being not funny enough to be even allowed in the building, to being so funny that I'm now hosting the show? How did I suddenly get so goddamn funny?! It was inexplicable to me, because, let's face it, a year and a half is not enough time for a dude to learn how to be funny! Then it occurred to me, I haven't gotten funnier, the show has gotten really bad! So, yeah, I'm funny compared to, you know, what you'll see later. Okay, so let's recap, the bad news is: I'm still not funny. The good news is: The show blows! Alright, folks, we've got a great show for you tonight! Dr. Dre, Snoop Doggie Dogg and Eminem are here. We'll be right back! "
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Originally posted by All UNI Base Are Belong To Us:
Tim Meadows (unfairly maligned)
I agree. I loved Tim Meadows.
And I also think that Norm McDonald was the very worst. In fact, I find him excruciatingly painful to deal with whenever I see him as a guest on some late night talk show.
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
And I also think that Norm McDonald was the very worst. In fact, I find him excruciatingly painful to deal with whenever I see him as a guest on some late night talk show.
this is a classic norm appearance on letterman
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tudRETrphxk (http://youtube.com/watch?v=tudRETrphxk)
i guess his sense of humor is so bone dry that it's hard to get into if you don't like that kinda stuff ... i could see how it could really grate on someone
he gave a drunken appearance on conan once that was amazing, one of my favorite interviews
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Originally posted by All UNI Base Are Belong To Us:
he gave a drunken appearance on conan once that was amazing, one of my favorite interviews
I think I may have seen that the night it first aired. Usually I get a kick out of laughing at some drunk make a fool of themselves on tv but that night was disturbing, probably because I already couldn't stand him.
I tend to understand and love dry humor but to me, he just comes off as totally flat and failed.
Back to SNL, isn't Tracy Morgen the guy who does the Ophra impersonations? Whomever it is, I think this guy does a great job! I rarely watch tv so usually miss SNL so I'm so lost with much of it.
Cheri O'Teri (sp?) got on my nerves after awhile too. She started out so good but then got totally ridiculous, boring and even disturbing (to me) when everything she seemed to do was nothing but the same old worn out game, usually with Kris Kattan, of fighting and then having sex. That lasted for one skit, not an f**ning career!
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that cheri oteri / kattan skit reminds me of the one they have on now of the "asshole couple" ... it's much funnier than the earlier one ... i hate chris kattan ...
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
Back to SNL, isn't Tracy Morgen the guy who does the Ophra impersonations?
i know he did a great Star Jones, i don't remember oprah
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Three words: Anthony Michael Hall
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Originally posted by All UNI Base Are Belong To Us:
Originally posted by Jaguar:
Back to SNL, isn't Tracy Morgen the guy who does the Ophra impersonations?
i know he did a great Star Jones, i don't remember oprah [/b]
(tim meadows)
http://snl.jt.org/imp.php?i=1685 (http://snl.jt.org/imp.php?i=1685)
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Isn't the Good Burger guy Kenan or Kel?
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The lawyers (http://www.andyfoulds.co.uk/amusement/lawyer_hunt.htm) will have a field day with this one:
A Colin Quinn sex tape (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0315061colin1.html?link=rssfeed) surfaces.
MARCH 15--The former Playboy Playmate who is seeking to market a videotaped sex session with actor Will Farrell will get a $3 million advance payment from an Internet porn outfit if she prevails in her lawsuit against the Hollywood star, who is suing to keep the steamy video under wraps. The seven-figure payout to Nicole Narain, Miss January 2002, is stipulated in an October 2005 option agreement she signed with Internet Commerce Group (ICG), the Arizona firm that would be poised to distribute the 15-minute video if Farrell's Los Angeles Superior Court legal challenge fails. When word of the 31-year-old Narain's plan to peddle the video leaked last summer, Farrell, 29, filed a lawsuit against her and two porn brokers and obtained a court restraining order barring distribution of the sex tape (though snippets from the video were released on the Internet and can still be found online). Farrell subsequently named ICG and a friend of Narain's as additional defendants. In a March 13 court filing, Farrell's lawyers included the option agreement between Narain and ICG, which has locked up Narain's rights in case Farrell's legal bid fails, clearing the way for the tape's distribution. The agreement, a copy of which you'll find below, guarantees Narain $100,000, whether or not the explicit video can be marketed. The document also calls for Narain's legal fees to be covered up to $60,000. The option deal provides Narain with 60 percent of all "net revenues" generated by the video's exploitation and requires her to "diligently pursue her rights" to the videotape and "vigorously defend" against Farrell's lawsuit. While the option agreement filed as an exhibit by Farrell's lawyers contains only Narain's signature, a source familiar with the litigation told TSG that the ex-centerfold and ICG have been working in lockstep and that the deal had surely been fully executed by the porn operators. (10 pages)
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a great fact checker over there at the smoking gun ... at least spell the guy's name right!
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<img src="http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0RwDlAq8VeRKGrDGObuIBIyijUY2WGor*RYpyR4lW1ofPyNqhjq!4uXxO0NXYjiA*boB6QhaH7rtp2BiQpw6kBOFbTBWITbKH5xNEi9fhagE/sleeve0.JPG" alt=" - " />
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I thought Norm MacDonald was funny and his monologue, as posted by Hoya, was excellent. Jim Breuer was a fool whose only good act was being a stoner, which I'm not exactly sure was an act.
I will admit to finding Half Baked funny.
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kenan. hes alright, but the whole cast now sucks so no one watches it...
i thought colin did great on weekend update, fallon, tina fey and the other chick are all bad at it.
morgan was awesome, especially when he was messing with garth brooks and when he said "get me a soda, bitch." the lorne...i almost cried.
sanz is also pretty funny. he saves a lot of the newer sketches. it is unfiar to compare him the farley.
tim meadows is awesome.
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Originally posted by flawd101:
i thought colin did great on weekend update, fallon, tina fey and the other chick are all bad at it.
Wow, and here I thought Colin was the absolute worst weekend update person that could have ever been considered out of everyone in the world for that part. It was painful to listen to him trying to be funny. He was horrible.....In my opinion.
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But Colin's "Joe Blow" character was rather amusing, IMHO.
<img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y25/team_dupek/0c14cb38.jpg" alt=" - " />
Originally posted by Rob_Gee:
Originally posted by flawd101:
i thought colin did great on weekend update, fallon, tina fey and the other chick are all bad at it.
Wow, and here I thought Colin was the absolute worst weekend update person that could have ever been considered out of everyone in the world for that part. It was painful to listen to him trying to be funny. He was horrible.....In my opinion. [/b]
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Jon Lovitz. Was he really funny? Not.
Kevin Nealon didn't snap my elastic either.
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Originally posted by P.J.:
Forgot Melanie Hutsell... She was the absolute worst!! All she ever did was make the same stupid face. Her only redeeming quality was her Jan Brady imitation.
sorrority chick character was so stupid it was pretty funny though.
Oh
Mah
Gah
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Originally posted by FREE RANDY CUNNINGHAM:
Jon Lovitz. Was he really funny? Not.
I loved Jon Lovitz. I often think he gets overlooked as a great SNL cast member.
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Master Thespian was kinda okay, I guess...
<img src="http://popotom.tripod.com/088f2b60.jpg" alt=" - " />
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=L3sLE-Jk0rw (http://youtube.com/watch?v=L3sLE-Jk0rw)
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Originally posted by Roy Hibbert is Tall:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L3sLE-Jk0rw (http://youtube.com/watch?v=L3sLE-Jk0rw)
That one scared my grandma.