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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: tinygee on November 29, 2005, 05:11:00 pm
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Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
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He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin' up the road.
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Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery? He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!
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Did I ever tell you about the time I had breakfast with Brasky? Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for eight months straight. When he woke up, he rubbed his eyes and said, "All in all, I prefer gin!"
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Is this a continuation of the "incessant talkers" thread?
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Originally posted by Etan de Balzac, Footie Ball Player:
Is this a continuation of the "incessant talkers" thread?
I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury!
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I remember one time Brasky took his family to Sea World... they were watching Shamu the whale when Brasky got splashed! So Brasky yells, 'I'm Bill Brasky and no one gets me wet!' So he climbs into the tank, grabs Shamu and throws the whale into the audience, splashes him and yells, 'How do you like it?!' And then damn if Brasky didn't step in there and finish the show!
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Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle.
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I once ran into Brasky at the Black Cat. He was there drinking down yeagermeisters, complaining about people yelling "Freebird" during all his favorite hipster rock shows. Then he proceeds to tell me about the time he saw Broken Social Scene play at the Cat. Told me they completely sucked. I kind of found it hard to swallow, given the raves that those tastemakers over at Pitchfork had given the band. But really, how you going to question the taste of Brasky?
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The character Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky... except for the part about planting appleseeds... and not raping men!
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Every time Bill comes into the 9:30 club he orders a round of $6.00 Yuenglings for the whole house. When Brasky pulls out his wallet to pay he grabs the bartender by the scruff of the neck, stuffs him into the cellophane pocket where you keep photos...and tells everyone that it's a picture of his chiropractor!
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Bill Brasky sleeps 8 hours a night! ... Well, actually, I guess in that regard he was pretty normal, but still!
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Bill Brasky once climbed Kilimanjaro... on life support!
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Originally posted by econo:
Bill Brasky once climbed Kilimanjaro... on life support!
Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack! Yeah, a day for every chamber. ... When they did the autopsy, they said his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese! They found sixty dollars in change in his stomach
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One time I asked Brasky to dress up like Santa for a Christmas party I was throwing for my children. Yeah, that's them, that's them. Well Brasky shows up as Santa, reaches into his bag and says, 'I've got goodies for you kids.' He proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says 'There is no Santa 'cause I ate him.'
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Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!
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All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.
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Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na! They did not want to be called that.
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Brasky once hosted the Grammy's, and gave every award to Corey Hart!
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It was the sight of Braskyâ??s naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane!
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Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball and take a shotgun blast standing!
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Bill Brasky was fathered by his own sperm. He is the ultimate motherfucker.
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Brasky went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million.
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Bill Brasky once urinated on the Declaration of Independence! John Hancock was so honored that he dug himself out of his grave just to shake Brasky's hand!
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Originally posted by econo:
Bill Brasky once urinated on the Declaration of Independence! John Hancock was so honored that he dug himself out of his grave just to shake Brasky's hand!
That's so grade school...
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Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl. Well, Brasky shows up and you know he's a big fella. Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries me and Brasky! We spend the weekend in the Poconos â?? he loved me like I've never been loved before!
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I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!
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Originally posted by P.J.:
I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!
Did you know Brasky did three tours in 'Nam?
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Originally posted by BookerT:
It was the sight of Braskyâ??s naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane!
That's peculiar because if you drop a record needle on Brasky's nipple it plays the Beach Boy's Pet Sounds.
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When are you gonna run out? The brasky well is very low.
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Brasky punches his fist through your computer screen, in it is a giant empty rocks glass, he says "Shut up you bastards and pour me a drink!"..........and scene
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keithstg is sipping a latte in the Newark airport...hoping to catch a fleeting glimpse of Al Franken changing planes when Brasky suddenly walks up to him, says, "I'd be at your house making sweet backdoor love to your wife right now, and you'ld be thanking me mucho, except for the fact that your're totally homo."
Then Bill Brasky pokes his finger in a half-eaten croissant on keithstg's plate and human entrails spill out, whereupon he then begins to stir the guts with his finger and interprets keithstg's future, "Al Franken will change his surname to "Qaeda" and you will join his jihad", Brasky divines.
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I was once at a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Brasky sired a baseball team - an orchestra, if you count the bastards.
Anyway, I hear he makes brooms somwhere down in Georgia.