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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: flawd101 on December 10, 2003, 07:16:00 pm
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ok, my dad family sucks. this year they decided to send the whole family 1 gift. of course i open it and what am i to find.......
oranges and grapefruits from florida.
but they also decided to give a jar of crappy jelly that we get every year and a knife thing to spread it.
i know you dont care but these are my grandparents....i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.
thats why i love my moms family.......which means you will be rid of me on christmas week.
so what are you bitches getting for christmas.........??????????????
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Originally posted by flawd101:
i know you dont care but these are my grandparents....i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.
Damn,that's funny.You just know that whoever gives you a fruit cake either a)has no idea what you like or b)couldn't care less.You go flawd!! I'd say it goes something like this:Well,I didn't really want to give you anything after that thoughtless gift you gave me, but i feel obligated so,here's a delicious fruit cake!!Happy holidays.
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Originally posted by flawd101:
i know you dont care but these are my grandparents....i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.
you mean in the mail, or as a grandson?
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Dont you mean they'll be getting a fucking fruitcake flawd?
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they will be getting a fucking cheap, nasty fruit cake that i wouldn't touch with walkie's heart.......and no...i'm not a fucking fag.....sorry, did i say fag? i mean fruit, dont want to offend anyone. i have no fasion sense and am not to lucky with da chicks so i can't be gay.....
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Originally posted by flawd101:
i have no fasion sense and am not to lucky with da chicks so i can't be gay.....
very well put.
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Originally posted by flawd101:
crappy jelly
KY?
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Originally posted by flawd101:
they will be getting a fucking cheap, nasty fruit cake that i wouldn't touch with walkie's heart
you know, old people sometimes like that shit, you better be careful and get them something you know they won't like, if you really want to stick it to 'em
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My dad always found a good deal on something and just bought like 10 of them and everyone got the same thing. Then when I was a teenager he just started writing us all checks for $60. A few years later, $50. A few more years, $40. Now he can't even be bothered to write a check. In fact, he doesn't even get dressed when I bring the family by to visit!
Poor old dad, he sure is lonely. I'm glad I didn't get his depressoid isolationist genes.
My siblings and I always joke that we'll give the old man a $40 check for xmas, birthday etc. But I never do.
When I was a kid, my grandmother (she was so bad-ass, moved to NY from SC at age 20 and sang professionally until she met my grand-dad)once wrapped up a box of Waffle-O's for me(anyone remember that cereal?) and put it under the tree. It was her favorite cereal. She'd play xmas songs on the piano. Even when she was half blind and had real bad arthritis she could still get on the piano and play tons of songs from memory. What a hilarious woman. Totally dry and sarcastic and always willing to laugh at herself.
Sorry for the trip down memory lane folks, I just hadn't thought about this stuff in a while. The holidays can be bittersweet.
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heres a funny story from the homeland.
Canadian Fruitcakes (http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1071000046020_37/?hub=TopStories)
Fruitcake the latest banned item on airlines
CTV.ca News Staff
Holiday travellers packing one of the season's traditional fruitcakes had better hope their journey's short. Transport Canada says the festive confections are not welcome on the nation's airplanes.
The ban is not, as one might suspect, the punchline to a joke about old, dried-out fruitcakes making lethal weapons.
That would be in bad taste.
According to the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority, fruitcakes are being banned because they are notoriously difficult to identify on the X-ray scanners used to inspect air travellers' luggage.
And that, according to the agency's Jacques Duchesneau, means the otherwise innocent cake could prompt unnecessary security alerts and subsequent delays.
The fruitcake is just the latest in long list of items banned from travellers luggage in the wake of the September, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States.
All the likely weapons -- from automatic guns to razor blades -- are banned, of course. But among the more unusual items, air travellers would do well to remember they should leave their ice skates at home. Or at least pack them securely in luggage destined for the cargo hold.
As for that homemade wine intended as a gift for travellers' hosts? It should also be packed away. It's one of the "unidentifiable" items the security authority has banned from carry-on luggage.
And, the agency warns, don't forget to take any holiday gifts you're packing unwrapped. If the contents are hidden beneath ribbon and wrapping they could be opened by security personnel at the airport.
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i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps...........
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket...........the worst part is she had "won" as the soap basket i'd given her was nicer..........if that's possible.................
what a bitch.................aah christmas certainly brings back the warm fuzzy memories of family doesn't it.........
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Poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps...........
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket
RA:
Oh man, poorlulu, that's funny. I LOVE soaps. I go to stores like Marshalls or TJ Max, get a bunch of cool, vegetable-based soaps (good selection, discounted), & give them as presents. Plus I'll always have them as presents for people I might not know I'm gonna see, like out of town friends. A couple days ago, my sister told me, "Don't get me any soap." Some people think that's a strange gift, but I don't. It's something you can use so it doesn't take up space for long.
As far as little effort? I don't know. It takes me a while to decide on which soaps to buy, but I tend to be indecisive at times. I always get some saop for me, too. I have a shitload.
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Originally posted by poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps...........
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket...........the worst part is she had "won" as the soap basket i'd given her was nicer..........if that's possible.................
what a bitch.................aah christmas certainly brings back the warm fuzzy memories of family doesn't it.........
Soap on a rope!
With the soap basket you still have the basket after the soap is gone...with soap on a rope you're left with a piece of string.
We used to get dad hankies with his initial on. We just got the 'W' because you could get those right off the shelf at marks & sparks. It would cost a bit more to get 'WO'. He used to pretend to be as excited as he was the previous year when he got hankies with his initial on! My dad ruled the world.
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Originally posted by Ruth Ann:
Poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps...........
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket
RA:
Oh man, poorlulu, that's funny. I LOVE soaps. I go to stores like Marshalls or TJ Max, get a bunch of cool, vegetable-based soaps (good selection, discounted), & give them as presents. Plus I'll always have them as presents for people I might not know I'm gonna see, like out of town friends. A couple days ago, my sister told me, "Don't get me any soap." Some people think that's a strange gift, but I don't. It's something you can use so it doesn't take up space for long.
As far as little effort? I don't know. It takes me a while to decide on which soaps to buy, but I tend to be indecisive at times. I always get some saop for me, too. I have a shitload.
You sound very clean Ruth Ann...mind you, you probably stink after hanging around horses and cats all day. :D
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sorry ruth ann
but soap = crap gift..............
not to mention what it implies............i mean really, you gave me soap because.................?
my dad always got hankies with initials from m&s too and socks and underwear............poor dad
he always said the same thing every year............
socks and pants tremendous
oh and hankies as well superb.......
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Soap as a gift implies the same as a Whitmans sampler, "I don't care enough about you to make any effort on a gift, so here's some fucking soap/Whitmans sampler"
They do have their uses though because you can always re-gift them to someone you don't give a rats about.
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When I was about 10 or so some friends of my parents gave me little pillboxes for xmas. I was so pissed. I don't know whats worse . Pillboxes or soap. I remember thinking "man these people are out of it".
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My granparents once gave me and my brothers pens for xmas, because we did not write enough. When I wrote them to thank them, I made sure to use a different pen! :D
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Originally posted by pollard:
My granparents once gave me and my brothers pens for xmas, because we did not write enough. When I wrote them to thank them, I made sure to use a different pen! :D
ooh you rebel you................that showed them huh?
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Originally posted by mankie:
Soap as a gift implies the same as a Whitmans sampler, "I don't care enough about you to make any effort on a gift, so here's some fucking soap/Whitmans sampler"
They do have their uses though because you can always re-gift them to someone you don't give a rats about.
and lets be honest who amongst us hasn't done that.........which reminds me mankie i have a present for you :D
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<img src="http://a1055.g.akamai.net/f/1055/1185/5h/images.barnesandnoble.com/images/750000/751102.jpg" alt=" - " />
The secret word is "Happy New Year" as Pee-Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) and the Playhouse gang hold a Christmas party. Things threaten to get out of hand fairly early as the increasingly disappointed Pee-Wee receives one fruitcake after another. When he complains that he didn't get anything he really wanted, our hero learns an important lesson about sharing from none other than Santa Claus. Among Pee-wee's special guests are singers k.d. lang, Grace Jones, Dinah Shore, and the Del Rubio Triplets, "Beach Party" perennials Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon (who'd recently costarred with Pee-wee in the theatrical film Back at the Beach), the outrageous Little Richard (on ice-skates!) and such pop-culture giants as Oprah Winfrey, Charo, Cher, Joan Rivers, Magic Johnson, and even Zsa Zsa Gabor. Pee-wee Herman's Christmas Special first aired December 21, 1988 on CBS. Hal Erickson
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Originally posted by poorlulu:
ooh you rebel you................that showed them huh?
I felt like it did when I was a kid, eventually they just stopped giving xmas gifts at all. Only gave us birthday presents. So clearly bitterness has been in the family a long time.
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My grandmother gave me a case of beer each Christmas for three years in a row.
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poorlulu:
sorry ruth ann
but soap = crap gift..............
not to mention what it implies............i mean really, you gave me soap because.................?
RA:
I don't think it's a crap gift. Hmmm...maybe I'm just "different." Guess I never thought someone would think I was implying something about him/her. Interesting...
At least I don't buy bars of Coast as a gift, though.
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Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:
My grandmother gave me a case of beer each Christmas for three years in a row.
She sounds like a keeper.......
Does she send you <img src="http://www.gpi.org/awards_images/Saratoga.jpg" alt=" - " /> now?
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Mankie:
You sound very clean Ruth Ann...mind you, you probably stink after hanging around horses and cats all day.
RA:
HAHA! That's one of the reasons I take a bath before bed. My hair did smell kinda "horsey" last night when I got home.
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Originally posted by mark e smith:
She sounds like a keeper.......
Does she send you <img src="http://www.gpi.org/awards_images/Saratoga.jpg" alt=" - " /> now?
No. Unfortunately, she's shaken off this mortal coil.
Saratoga seems difficult to find around here all of a sudden. I've been drinking that Whole Foods offering, but it's just not as crisp and refreshing.
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There's several good jokes in there, but I'm going to be nice to a newbie!
Originally posted by Ruth Ann:
Mankie:
You sound very clean Ruth Ann...mind you, you probably stink after hanging around horses and cats all day.
RA:
HAHA! That's one of the reasons I take a bath before bed. My hair did smell kinda "horsey" last night when I got home.
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Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:
but it's just not as crisp and refreshing.
double bad news for GGW......
You could always try this: <img src="http://daryllang.com/dogs/day05b.jpg" alt=" - " />
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Originally posted by poorlulu:
[/b]
and lets be honest who amongst us hasn't done that.........which reminds me mankie i have a present for you :D [/QB]
You mean that little 'gift' you gave me at the BDB show while your hubby was in the loo wasn't my chrissie pressie?
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Originally posted by pollard:
My granparents once gave me and my brothers pens for xmas, because we did not write enough. When I wrote them to thank them, I made sure to use a different pen!
"I gave her my heart...she gave me a pen. She thinks I'm a dick..."
what if the soap is handmade by you? Is it still a lame gift?
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Originally posted by grotty:
what if the soap is handmade by you? Is it still a lame gift?
depends, is it made from the waste from plastic surgery?
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I wrote:
HAHA! That's one of the reasons I take a bath before bed. My hair did smell kinda "horsey" last night when I got home.
Then Rhett wrote:There's several good jokes in there, but I'm going to be nice to a newbie!
RA again:
I didn't ride last night, though, so that may ruin one of the jokes. It was actually the hair on my head that was horsey smelling. It was a big barn dirt booger evening, though. (Yep, lots of dust/dirt in the air.)
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You can reply to a quote by clicking on the icon on the right of the top of the quote.
Originally posted by Ruth Ann:
I wrote:
HAHA! That's one of the reasons I take a bath before bed. My hair did smell kinda "horsey" last night when I got home.
Then Rhett wrote:There's several good jokes in there, but I'm going to be nice to a newbie!
RA again:
I didn't ride last night, though, so that may ruin one of the jokes. It was actually the hair on my head that was horsey smelling. It was a big barn dirt booger evening, though. (Yep, lots of dust/dirt in the air.)
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Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
[QB] You can reply to a quote by clicking on the icon on the right of the top of the quote.
Like this? (Hoping it works.) Thank you. I didn't know how to do that. The icons didn't really look like quotes to me.
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I always get a religious things from my extended family. My immediate family no longer gives me Christmas gifts. It's quite pathetic because I always buy everyone else gifts, but on Christmas day, Laura receives nada.
However, I recall that one year I received a book called "To My Dear Slimeball," which, according to the blurb, was some sort of update on C.S. Lewis' "Screwtape Letters", except updated for todays modern teen, i.e. much much much lamer. I think I also got "Stomping Out the Darkness" that same year. I have no idea what that's about. I also received a compilation CD called "WOW 2001" which is the best that Christian pop music has to offer. At age 11, I received Psalty's Children's Bible. Other gifts I've received over the years: a yellow polyester towel, a polyester towel set with teddy bears and "Home Sweet Home" written on them, a small bear filled with potpourri, a mug with a bear on it (sense a trend?), a freaky stuffed tiger that roars, an XL batik Indonesia t-shirt, and an XL "Jesus Lives" t-shirt. And they wonder why I don't go to church.
Sometimes I get soap. I fucking hate soap.
Why don't they just write me a note that says "LOSE WEIGHT, SHOWER AND ACCEPT JESUS, FATASS"?
Luckily, some relatives have started giving me money now. Of course, there's not a whole lot I can do with Singapore dollars, but hey, at least they aren't books about the state of my soul and what I can abstain from in order to redeem myself and go to heaven which, from extensive research, doesn't sound too fun anyway.
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hey laura if i got gifts like that i'd have been sending them divorce papers...............thats f@cking awful
and before everyone starts....... yes, christmas IS ALL about the receiving of presents so they had better be good...........
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Like Ruth Ann, I like soaps too, as long as they are halfway decent soaps and not stinky Coast or some other extremely cheap, stenchy soap. French milled are the best. Most are nice enough. I see them as pampering gifts and not hints. I love buying nice soaps for myself.
If anyone wants to unload their unwanted soap gifts on me, I'll take them. :D
Flawd, check out Hickory Farms. Their stuff is pretty bad and almost tastless and cheese will bind them up. Something old people don't want happening.
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I also like soaps. I think they are nice presents if chosen well, and especially if handmade. I have an aunt who is always broke, but every year gives everyone in the family a little something. A couple years in a row she got all the women in the family sample size Victoria Secret bodywash, and lotion. I have a big family, and even if she spent $2 on each gift, she probably spent a total of about $100 or more. Everyone knew she didn't have money, and we were happy with what we got. She a is sweet, and thoughtful person. My sister made home made chocolates, and soaps one year, and it took her time to make them. She also wanted to give everyone a gift, and I know they were made with love. She's a very good person too. For a long time I didn't give any gifts to people, not even a card because I was too embarrased that I didn't have money to buy them nice gifts. I even almost didn't show up to the family party once. Then my mom called, and she just wanted me to come. It can be pretty boring (except when some of them get drunk), but the family just wants to see the family they love, but almost never get to see. The next year I bought tons of boxes of insensce for $1 (nag champa), and wrapped it up all nice so everyone would know it was given with love.It was cool. Mostly only the real little kids care about what they get. The rest of us are just there to hang out, drink, and play poker. They love poker! Now I like my family gatherings, and even miss them when its been a while.
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chicks love soaps. like my aunts.....
last year i got highliters.....
they got cheap nasty fruitcake......normaly who ever gets them throw them away and they send an email thanking us.
i'm so happy get get christmas presents.....my moms family gives me 50 each except my aunt gives me100....(5ppl)...which is my only income for the year....
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Usually, whether it's a phone call, soap, or a damned fruit cake (which I also despise) the point is the thought of at least remembering the person exists... that's all they care about. Or, at least myself. That's all I care about. Just let me know (somehow) that you know who I am, and that you know I exist. Then I know you give a damn. When it comes to family, that shows me you care a lot more than you may care to admit. With friends, maybe it's different... I have had few in my short time on this earth, but they have usaually (and quickly) become like family. Same thing. What is important is what is in the heart...the intention of each invidual. Me, if you die tomorrow, it's is going to affect me probably for the rest of my life. An encounter with another life is like a dance, and a dance can last five minutes, or a life time. You touched me, and I am a better person for it. Regardless. Even if I am hurt, I won't judge you for it. They do say though... F*cked me once shame on you. F*ck me twice shame on me. If I love you, I will take whatever shame comes, with pride. Just remember, everyone has a threshold... the best thing we can do is try and remember not to abuse it.
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Originally posted by esmeralda:
You touched me, and I am a better person for it. Regardless.
hur,hur. If you touched me, I would be a better person for it.
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Originally posted by flawd101:
last year i got highliters.....
I always run out of highlighters. Wish they would give me highlighters.
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wow that was so touching.......
sounds like the end of a jerry springer show.....
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if i could i'd give them to you but i got curious if they could catch fire.....and then they went down the insinerator at my at good grandma's house.
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Originally posted by flawd101:
if i could i'd give them to you but i got curious if they could catch fire.....and then they went down the insinerator at my at good grandma's house.
You get some weird Christmas gifts.
BTW, please don't drive over to my place to naplam test any of my highlighters, magic markers, pens, pencils, pastels, and other vast array of art and office supplies. I like you but I also like my life and the possessions that I've managed to collect along the way.
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only wierd gifts from my dads side.....did i mention the things that go on your shoe laces that looked like a power ranger when i was 11 or 12....and it wasnt even to good power ranger :)
i wont destroy your office supplies...unless you throw them at me for finding your house....
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get weird Xmas gifts at the Black Cat Rock N Shop sale tonight, I'm headed there now..
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Originally posted by flawd101:
chicks love soaps. like my aunts.....
last year i got highliters.....
they got cheap nasty fruitcake......normaly who ever gets them throw them away and they send an email thanking us.
i'm so happy get get christmas presents.....my moms family gives me 50 each except my aunt gives me100....(5ppl)...which is my only income for the year....
i do believe this is flawd's xmas theme song :D (wish i could find a audio stream of this song)
all i wanted was a skateboard lyrics by super deluxe
From the album v.i.p.
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
This stupid sweater This stupid
Every year Christmas comes and it goes
Shedding tears where no one even knows
It so hard to be good when you are poor
I don't need a lot, just a little more
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
This stupid sweater This stupid
Look around, everybody's got the goods
And I've been cheated and misunderstood
Santa's gone and messed up once again I've been good,
but I've still got nothing
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
This stupid sweater This stupid sweater This stupid
I don't want your socks or shirts or ties
All I need is four wheels so I can ride
You can stick that sweater up your ass
Every time seems to be worse than the last
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
All I wanted was a skateboard, but all I got was
This stupid sweater This stupid
This stupid sweater This stupid
Yeah!
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i hate skaters....and i've been getting what i want for the last few years.....just not from certain assholes....
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Originally posted by Dandy01:
get weird Xmas gifts at the Black Cat Rock N Shop sale tonight, I'm headed there now..
How was it?
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Originally posted by Bagster:
Originally posted by Dandy01:
get weird Xmas gifts at the Black Cat Rock N Shop sale tonight, I'm headed there now..
How was it? [/b]
it was kewl - made out with random CDs, clothes, and a Star Wars booklet of postcards of toys in mint condition for my friend for xmas. They had the usual vintage gear, art, zines, etc. And the music wasn't so bad either; it was a melange of old school, some electroclash and post-modern stuff or whatever it's called (Cure, etc.).