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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: sweetcell on October 18, 2008, 07:01:00 pm
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didn't want to clog up JA with this:
Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Originally posted by RustyOrgan:
Dude - Because she's 19??
I see absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever with a 19 year old getting married. [/b]
she has the legal right to do so, but i certainly feel it isn't advisable. i don't believe that 19 year olds have the maturity or the foresight required to make that kind of a life-long decision. i believe this to be especially true of men - no man should even consider marriage before age 25.
i'm sure there are stats out there that demonstrate that there is a positive correlation between young age at marriage and divorce rates.
maybe your point was that we shouldn't judge other people's decisions?
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In light of the announcement that Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant and intends to marry her 18-year-old boyfriend Levi Johnston, the New York Times has taken a look at the declining popularity (and success) of teenage marriage.
The median marrying age for women in the late 1950s was about 19, according to David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University and an emeritus professor of sociology there. But a marriage between 19-year-olds -- or even 17- or 18-year-olds -- then would not have been described as a "teenage marriage," he said. It was too routine to be given a special label.
....Studies show that today teenage marriages are two to three times more likely to end in divorce than are marriages between people 25 years of age and older. The most comprehensive study on marriage and age that sociologists cite was published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2001, from 1995 data, and it found that 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25.
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thanks for the stats, charles.
a study on marriage by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - how funny. is marriage catching?!? :D
that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
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You done too much much too young
You're married with a kid when you could be having fun with me
You done too much much too young
Now you're married with a son when you should be having fun with me
Don't wanna be rich, don't wanna be famous
Ain't he cute, no he ain't
He's just another burden on the welfare state
Call me immature, call me a poseur
I'll to spread manure in your bed of roses
Don't we wanna be rich Don't we wanna be famous
But I'd really hate to have the same name as you
You done too much much too young
Now you're chained to the kitchen making currant buns for tea
Ain't you heard of the starving millions
Ain't you heard of conraception
Do you really wanna go with the sterilization
Take control of the population boom
It's in your living room
Keep a generation gap
Try wearing a cap
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I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20. I'd presume in the liberal hotbed of 930.com, no one has a problem with that. I greatly doubt anyone on here has a problem with 18-21 year olds having romantic relationships and so forth.
So, I guess from my perspective, if she can live with me, why should we live without the legal protection of marriage? If we break up, there's all sorts of legal issues that would come up: who gets the apartment, how are bills split, what if we have a joint checking account, etc etc. The US legal system isn't equipped to divvy up credit card bills or the like from people who are playing house, so if we were married and the relationship ended, we'd be alot better off if we were married.
I'm certainly I am not advocating every two people who are shacking up getting married and I'm not saying divorce is awesome, but I don't think being married and getting divorced is any worse then two people co-habituating and then breaking up. It's a semantic difference, but if you're married, both parties have their interests protected.
Again, I'm not saying everyone should make the same decision, but I can say with a certainty if we're still together 4-6 months down the road, an engagement is definitely in the works. She's a mature, intelligent adult who's well-grounded and I've known for like 6 years. I see absolutely no problem with her getting married and I don't think such an arrangement is any more doomed to failure then two 25-year-olds who drink Colt 45 and wear Abercrombie and Fitch.
And congrats on your engagement, Sweets! You'll have to link me to your registry when you get one! :)
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You chase in the rat-race
And you always feel so hollow
You marry because it's expected of you
And it only makes you feel more lonely
But still you look down on the teenage dad on
On his estate
He's happy so leave him alone
With his baby
And his modest home
He's happy so leave him alone
With his Jensen Interceptor
It's just a runaround
You defer to the views of the television news
Let someone do your thinking for you
And you still buy a daily newspaper
And you find everything there but the news
And still you look down on the teenage dad on
On his estate
He's happy so leave him alone
With his baby
And his modest home
He's happy so leave him alone
With his Jensen Interceptor
It's just a runaround
You become your parents' parent
And you love them
But you can't help feeling used
And you hate the teenage dad on his estate
Because he's poor but he's happier than you
They're all laughing at you
You're a dipper, a slider, cart-horse provider
Nobody cares about you
Just as long as you're out there bringing it in
Despising the grin on the face of the boy
With the methadone
With his methadone
He's happy so leave him alone
With his methadone
He's happy so leave him alone
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Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations!
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Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:
Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations! [/b]
Hold on....Does Samantha know anything about this?
On a more serious note, congratulations! But do be careful because if you cross the line, Big Sister Samantha will whoop your ass. :D
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Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20.
Pervert! :D
Sweetcell: congrats!!!
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You and yer Specials and Morrissey. Well, here's some Carly Simon, bitches!
My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark.
The living room is still;
I walk by, no remark.
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
My mother reads her magazines.
I hear her call sweet dreams,
But I forgot how to dream.
But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.
My friends from college they're all married now;
They have their houses and their lawns.
They have their silent noons,
Tearful nights, angry dawns.
Their children hate them for the things they're not;
They hate themselves for what they are-
And yet they drink, they laugh,
Close the wound, hide the scar.
But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.
You say we can keep our love alive
Babe - all I know is what I see -
The couples cling and claw
And drown in love's debris.
You say we'll soar like two birds through the clouds,
But soon you'll cage me on your shelf -
I'll never learn to be just me first
By myself.
Well O.K., it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be,
You want to marry me, we'll marry,
We'll marry.
My younger brother married his first girlfriend when he was 21 and she was 19 or 20. No shotguns needed and still strong after 21 years.
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:
Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations! [/b]
Hold on....Does Samantha know anything about this? [/b]
actually, i was hoping to keep this news on the down low... i'm not married yet... <runs away>
:D
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The general rule is men should avoid getting married as long as possible.
A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.
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My mom got married when she was 19...look where it got her!!! Have a life of your own before you have to share every piece of it with someone else, at least that's what I say. To each is (or her) own though.
I waited til I was 29. Glad to say 8 years later still happy and going strong.
All that said, congrats to all you young lovebirds out there!
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Also, from what I have seen - and I think there is some empirical proof of this- women tend to be happier and do better when they wait to get married and focus on themselves and their own careers etc.
Obviously its a case by case thing...There are no absolutes in life.. but I'm seeing many friends who got married a few years ago when it was felt it was "time" now getting divorces and it can be very painful..particularly when kids are involved
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Originally posted by hutch:
A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.
Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.
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im 30 and got engaged last night. usa.
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Originally posted by They call me Doctor Doom.:
Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20.
Pervert! :D
Sweetcell: congrats!!! [/b]
Nice, you can go out to the bar and hook up and she has to stay home!!!
On the subject of marraige - I got married for the first time at 25....in hindsight my advice would be to not get married till you're in your 30's. Women can and do have children much older these days so rushing to get marraige for children is not such an issue anymore. Also women are much more career motivated which would be another reason to hold of on having kiddies....why have kids if you want a career then schlep them off to uncaring hired help for 10 hours a day? Priorities, priorities.
Having said that, it's up to the individual really and none of my business.
BTW lads - if it ends up in divorce just give her what she wants, kids, house whatever...She'll get it anyway so you may as well save on lawyer bills and just rollover and save a lot of money.
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Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Originally posted by hutch:
A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.
Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son. [/b]
Do you express these embarrassingly small-minded views in public, or just when you're feeling safe behind a computer?
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My pick for the most ignorant post of the year.
Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.
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actually, it's my pick for second-most troll-iest post (after manimtired's collective blatherings, obviously). a juvenile & irresponsible thing said to rile people up. i'm not convinced he meant it - am i wrong, jules? even if he was against gay marriage, i'm assuming he'd find a more eloquent way to state his opposition than to quote a redneck bumper sticker.
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Originally posted by manimtired:
im 30 and got engaged last night. usa.
My condolances to your fiance. :p
Seriously though, congratulations!
From my experience, I've found something about men and turning 30 tends to bring out the settling down urge. From the most homebodies to the biggest male whores about town; they turn 30 and WHAM! they get married.
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thanks!
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
From my experience, I've found something about men and turning 30 tends to bring out the settling down urge.
dr. drew had this bit about all men being recovering testosterone addicts. it's not until somewhere between ages 25 and 35 do they finally get a handle on their addiction and start to emerge as human beings. although somewhat dramatic, there are some nuggets of truth in that spiel.
manimtired, congrats and welcome to the club. get ready to spend a lot of time looking at catalogs and websites :eek:
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Originally posted by sweetcell:
Originally posted by Jaguar:
From my experience, I've found something about men and turning 30 tends to bring out the settling down urge.
dr. drew had this bit about all men being recovering testosterone addicts. it's not until somewhere between ages 25 and 35 do they finally get a handle on their addiction and start to emerge as human beings. although somewhat dramatic, there are some nuggets of truth in that spiel.
manimtired, congrats and welcome to the club. get ready to spend a lot of time looking at catalogs and websites :eek: [/b]
uggggg...thanks man!
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
From my experience, I've found something about men and turning 30 tends to bring out the settling down urge.
For some reason the exact opposite happened to me when I turned 30. <img src="http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll94/Vilihjalmr/Emoctions/EMOTICON_CONFUSED.png" alt=" - " />
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Originally posted by sweetcell:
i'm not convinced he meant it - am i wrong, jules? even if he was against gay marriage, i'm assuming he'd find a more eloquent way to state his opposition than to quote a redneck bumper sticker.
I was, as usual, attempting to be flippant. The idea of some fly-by-night "playing house" judicial creation like domestic partnership is devalued by its being a fly-by-night "playing house" judicial creation, not by homosexuals.
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Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Originally posted by sweetcell:
i'm not convinced he meant it - am i wrong, jules? even if he was against gay marriage, i'm assuming he'd find a more eloquent way to state his opposition than to quote a redneck bumper sticker.
I was, as usual, attempting to be flippant. The idea of some fly-by-night "playing house" judicial creation like domestic partnership is devalued by its being a fly-by-night "playing house" judicial creation, not by homosexuals. [/b]
You're remarkably consistent in the way your flippancy attempts usually revolve around some form of intolerance.
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Originally posted by They call me Doctor Doom.:
You're remarkably consistent in the way your flippancy attempts usually revolve around some form of intolerance.
I think it's funnier to parody stupid people then smart people. It's why George W. Bush impersonations are hilarious and Al Gore/John Kerry impersonations are bland.
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Ok, not actually knowing you well I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
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When I was 28, I dated a 19 year old. In retrospect, it was kind of cheesy (especially her telling her parents I was 24, and me going along with it). But at 28, I was pretty immature and not really ready to settle down and be in a serious relationship, so a typical 19 year old girl was probably a better match for me than a typical 28 year old woman.
My mom and mother in law both married at 20 or so and their marriages both lasted, but that was a different time. My wife married at 18 and was divorced by 20.
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yay! congrats sweetie. tell the soon to me mrs. cell congrats for me as well :)
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aww, thanks guys.
"mrs. cell"... i like it. certainly sounds better than "sweetcellette". i've been using the generic "the missus" to refer to her on this board, not that she's generic in any way. thanks for helping me out with that one. miss p, official bboard wordsmith.
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yeah .. i considered mrs. s dot too.
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Is this now the official "Congratulations to Sweetcell and Manimtired on Your Engagement" thread?
If so, let me congratulate you both. In a way, you're both "marrying up". Sweetcell, you're a Canadian marrying an American; Manimtired, you're a Republican marrying a Democrat.
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Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
If so, let me congratulate you both. In a way, you're both "marrying up".
dude, you have no idea. i understand that you vs. your wife is a mismatch in the looks dept. i'm fairly confident we have you beat by a comfortable margin.
but as far as the nationality thing goes, she's just as excited at the prospect of getting canadian citizenship.
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Originally posted by sweetcell:
but as far as the nationality thing goes, she's just as excited at the prospect of getting canadian citizenship.
I would totally marry for citizenship. Easily 15+ nations.
How about Sweetcellulite since she no doubt weighs less than you?
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Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Originally posted by sweetcell:
but as far as the nationality thing goes, she's just as excited at the prospect of getting canadian citizenship.
I would totally marry for citizenship. Easily 15+ nations.
How about Sweetcellulite since she no doubt weighs less than you? [/b]
Julian, of all people, I would think you would understand that no one wants to be associated with cellulite.
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Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Originally posted by sweetcell:
but as far as the nationality thing goes, she's just as excited at the prospect of getting canadian citizenship.
I would totally marry for citizenship. Easily 15+ nations.
How about Sweetcellulite since she no doubt weighs less than you? [/b]
Julian, of all people, I would think you would understand that no one wants to be associated with cellulite.
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Originally posted by miss pretentious:
Julian, of all people, I would think you would understand that no one wants to be associated with cellulite.
You're absolutely right. I thought it was a cute name, but I can totally see how I would be insulted being likened to cellulite.
Hugs and Apologies!
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i dont think people should marry that early but hey, their life. most people arent mature enough at that age. actually most arent mature enough at 30 lol.
congrats sweets and man
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congrats to my fellow canadian and mr. lol.
advice, go get married far far away, invite no one and just have a party when you get back. its like half the price and one tenth the headache!
i'd vote Sandals in Antigua ;)
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Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Is this now the official "Congratulations to Sweetcell and Manimtired on Your Engagement" thread?
If so, let me congratulate you both. In a way, you're both "marrying up". Sweetcell, you're a Canadian marrying an American; Manimtired, you're a Republican marrying a Democrat.
wait wait wait wait
are sweetcell and manimtired getting married??
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Originally posted by very sonick:
advice, go get married far far away, invite no one and just have a party when you get back. its like half the price and one tenth the headache!
you have no idea how tempting this is. we've discussed it, and would both like to elope, but now that the families are aware of our plans expectations are set: big party it will be. major headache indeed, and we're just in the preliminary planning stages. ugh.
Originally posted by very sonick:
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Is this now the official "Congratulations to Sweetcell and Manimtired on Your Engagement" thread?
If so, let me congratulate you both. In a way, you're both "marrying up". Sweetcell, you're a Canadian marrying an American; Manimtired, you're a Republican marrying a Democrat.
wait wait wait wait
are sweetcell and manimtired getting married?? [/b]
yes, to each other... LOL <-- see, he's influencing me already! starting to post alike...
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thanks everyone. i just got a new job today too..what a week!
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Originally posted by manimtired:
thanks everyone. i just got a new job today too..what a week!
enjoy cause in 2 weeks you're going to be a very grumpy man!!! ;)
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Originally posted by manimtired:
thanks everyone. i just got a new job today too..what a week!
Didn't think the McCain campaign had the funds to bring on anyone else :D Congrats!
I started a new job recently....more $$, waaay less work, 100% free healthcare for the whole family, 3 weeks vaca, 2.5 weeks sick and the week between xmas and new years off with pay. Yes, I'm very happy about this most recent development in my life.
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Originally posted by chaz:
Originally posted by manimtired:
thanks everyone. i just got a new job today too..what a week!
Didn't think the McCain campaign had the funds to bring on anyone else :D Congrats!
I started a new job recently....more $$, waaay less work, 100% free healthcare for the whole family, 3 weeks vaca, 2.5 weeks sick and the week between xmas and new years off with pay. Yes, I'm very happy about this most recent development in my life. [/b]
see manimtired, the Obama campaign pays better!
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Originally posted by chaz:
I started a new job recently....more $$, waaay less work, 100% free healthcare for the whole family, 3 weeks vaca, 2.5 weeks sick and the week between xmas and new years off with pay. Yes, I'm very happy about this most recent development in my life.
where do i send my resume
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How else would you explain their coinciding engagements?
Originally posted by very sonick:
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Is this now the official "Congratulations to Sweetcell and Manimtired on Your Engagement" thread?
If so, let me congratulate you both. In a way, you're both "marrying up". Sweetcell, you're a Canadian marrying an American; Manimtired, you're a Republican marrying a Democrat.
wait wait wait wait
are sweetcell and manimtired getting married?? [/b]
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straight people should have never been allowed to get married in the first place. they have turned it into a money grubing, child hating, spouse cheating, pre-paper signing fiasco.
mister alive and well, guy ritchie approves this message.
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Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
When I was 28, I dated a 19 year old.
When I was 19, I dated a 28 year old. :eek:
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Wait... So you and Charlie dated each other?! :eek: :eek:
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when i was 19 or 20 I had a gf that was 6 or 7 years older than me...to this day she remains the only woman to truly crush my heart.....but totally worth it!!
My wife is almost 7 years older than me.
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I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
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mmmmm older is definitely better...yum yum
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Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
did she have blue hair?
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She might by now, but it was black at the time. No word on whether she liked the Pixies, but I sort of doubt it.
Originally posted by very sonick:
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
did she have blue hair? [/b]
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Originally posted by wanderlust j. marshmallow:
mmmmm older is definitely better...yum yum
...for a while... :roll:
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Was she a porky midget??
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
She might by now, but it was black at the time. No word on whether she liked the Pixies, but I sort of doubt it.
Originally posted by very sonick:
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
did she have blue hair? [/b]
[/b]
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did she have 3 eyes and 12 fingers? :D
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
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I wish.
Originally posted by chaz:
Was she a porky midget??
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
She might by now, but it was black at the time. No word on whether she liked the Pixies, but I sort of doubt it.
Originally posted by very sonick:
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I've got an older woman (10 years older) tale, but it's probably not fit for a family board such as this...
did she have blue hair? [/b]
[/b]
[/b]
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Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I wish.
Originally posted by chaz:
Was she a porky midget??
[/b]
posts of the week!
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Congratulations Sweetcell and Manimtired! And you're welcome for giving you an in to announce your engagements :p
My sister will be 20 in December, her boyfriend (now fiancee) of 4 years is a bit younger. Neither of them have ever dated anyone else. They work well together and you can tell they care very much for each other, and I'm sure they'll do fine. I've always known they'd get engaged, but I was expecting them to wait til they graduated. (They don't live together.) I wasn't particularly happy with this news because yes, they are very young, and very naive. My view is: what's the point? Why not wait? Why not have your own life for a little while, graduate, figure out your career path? If you love each other, what's the rush? It was doubly as worrying because they are both in college, and I have a cousin who is a couple months younger than me who got married last year at 20. She would have graduated this Spring, but she got pregnant.
However I shan't judge, it's just frustrating is all. I am biased against marriage in general, and have gone on tirades against young marriages before, so I'm sure there are people out there with smug smiles on their faces in my direction. Oh well. I shall be content to be Ye Olde Maide. I don't have much faith in the institution in general.
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20 year olds are barely mature enough to pay their own bills and live on their own, nevertheless understand the gravity of entering the most serious financial contract in their lifetimes, other than a mortgage. Plain and simple, it is flat out foolish and stupid for any 20 year old to decide to get married, especially for a man, who has much more to lose in the case of a divorce than a woman.
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Originally posted by Thousand Made-Up Loves:
it is flat out foolish and stupid ... especially for a man, who has much more to lose in the case of a divorce than a woman.
Sorry, I can't hear you all the way back there in the 1950's.
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Originally posted by Thousand Made-Up Loves:
20 year olds are barely mature enough to pay their own bills and live on their own, nevertheless understand the gravity of entering the most serious financial contract in their lifetimes, other than a mortgage. Plain and simple, it is flat out foolish and stupid for any 20 year old to decide to get married, especially for a man, who has much more to lose in the case of a divorce than a woman.
this is hilarious.
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Getting married young is not so bad as having kids young. If the marriage doesn't work out, it's not that difficult to get divorced these days.
As for kids -- you're stuck with them, and if you're in a relationship that goes sour, then the kids are stuck with the consequences of that as well.
People in their early 20s tend to think that love is stronger than anything and can make everything in the world better -- it's best to be a bit more realistic about things before bringing kids into the equation.