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=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: vansmack on November 03, 2005, 06:45:00 pm
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Just last weekend I told a girl who was wearing a really bad outfit that I really loved her halloween costume.
My friends were horrified at how mean that was and I informed them that it wasn't even in my top 10 of dick moves in bar.
Whatcha got?
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yeah that was pretty horrible. did she hit you?
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A few years ago I was at Madam's Organ with nkotbaba and some others. At the end of the evening, a girl walked by with some roses bought from one of the flower sellers.
I walked up to her and said, "You mean someone actually bought you those?"
I meant to say, "I didn't realize those flower guys sold any."
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I'm generally well behaved in bars, but I once called a short chubby girl a "porky midget" online.
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the biggest dick move in a bar is to hit on some other guy's girlfriend right in front of him...
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Originally posted by Doctor Doom:
the biggest dick move in a bar is to hit on some other guy's girlfriend right in front of him...
I can top that one, though I've never done it myself but have had it happen to me many times.
Couldn't tell you how many times I went into some bar or club with a boyfriend only to hear afterwards by the guy that some girl asked him to go home with them that night. And this was after it was all very obvious that we were there together as a couple. Fucking bitches! :mad: In case you are wondering, none of these guys took any of these women up on the offers.
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but...you're not with any of them anymore, right? Were they all assholes?
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Originally posted by j_lee:
but...you're not with any of them anymore, right? Were they all assholes?
LOL. Some of them. For others, we just went our separate ways.
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Originally posted by Jaguar:
Couldn't tell you how many times I went into some bar or club with a boyfriend only to hear afterwards by the guy that some girl asked him to go home with them that night. And this was after it was all very obvious that we were there together as a couple. Fucking bitches! :mad: In case you are wondering, none of these guys took any of these women up on the offers.
Yeah, I guess that is the chick equivalent of what I'm talking about. I think in both cases, it has little to do with desire and a lot to do with being an asshole.
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once at a strip club in vegas: it's around 6am, full night of drinking...i get a lapdance. girl asks me if i want another one, i say ok. so two dances later i owe $40. (earlier that night, i had some luck at the black jack table and was up $300.) so i have 3 $100 bills and like 5 $20s.
i meant to give the girl 3 $20s ($20 tip). but it was dark, i was pretty ripped... next time i go to buy a drink, i notice only 2 $100s are there. so i gave her $140 (2 $20s and a $100). i tell my friends, they're laughing at me...
and i know it's wrong, but next she came around, i gave her the subtle, indirect interrogation/trying to see if she's lying by really looking at her facial expression thing.
"so, you liked that tip i gave you?" "oh yes, thank you...would you like another dance?"
the face off was exactly like that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where larry thinks he tipped the hispanic waiter at the club twice, complete with the long silent stairs/eye-squinting/pseudo-mindreading.
we kinda went back and forth until i just flat out said "i meant to give you $60 but i accidentally gave you a $100 bill". she was actually cool about it, yet still denied it. i'd like to blame the alcohol for my gumption... but i was way out of line there. it was my dumbass fault for not looking at the money and that's that.
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if i'm in the bathroom and i see a guy leave without washing his hands, i like to wait until i see the guy talking to a girl and then come up to them and inform the girl that he didn't wash his hands. but that's not really a dick move. cause not washing your hands is gross.
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Once after way way too many beers at the bar I tried to convince my girlfriend's best friend to go home with me (she was out of town and we were fighting over some such thing). She said no. Me and said GF continued on for one or two more disfunctional years.
Luckily I gave up the sauce some years later.
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This is more "biggest dick move at a geek-fest movie" but on opening night of Fellowship of the Rings, many nerds were decked out in full chainmail. A friend of mine went up to a girl wearing a full suit of it and asked her if she was in line to see Black Knight, the Martin Lawrence movie that was out at the time. Still cracks me up.
Originally posted by vansmack:
Just last weekend I told a girl who was wearing a really bad outfit that I really loved her halloween costume.
My friends were horrified at how mean that was and I informed them that it wasn't even in my top 10 of dick moves in bar.
Whatcha got?
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This thread totally makes me think of the Queens of the Stone Age show from earlier this year at the 9:30 when Josh and Troy were doing their usual guitar thing during "Regular John" and they both stop and Josh says "we both have small dicks, but together we make one giant cock."
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Why is not washing your hands gross?
If you've just taken a dump, wash your hands. Period.
But if you're just taking a piss, why wash your hands? All I've done is touched my cock. And I'd venture to say that in general my cock is cleaner than my hands. So if anything, I should wash my hands BEFORE going pee. But given that many other people have touched that faucet (probably right after taking a shit), I'm not going to wash my hands and then touch my cock.
So in review, best to wash your hands only after you've taken a dump. And best to avoid taking a dump in a public bathroom anyway. But hey, sometimes shit happens.
Originally posted by duderino:
if i'm in the bathroom and i see a guy leave without washing his hands, i like to wait until i see the guy talking to a girl and then come up to them and inform the girl that he didn't wash his hands. but that's not really a dick move. cause not washing your hands is gross.
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i can't agree with etan enough. esp. if one is pissing in a shitter. there is no chance of urinal splatter, and one is far better off not to touch anything in the bathroom if it can be avoided. there is a huge difference b/t taking a dump and a leak. this whole washing hands after taking a leak bit is a crock of, well, shit.
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Originally posted by duderino:
if i'm in the bathroom and i see a guy leave without washing his hands, i like to wait until i see the guy talking to a girl and then come up to them and inform the girl that he didn't wash his hands. but that's not really a dick move. cause not washing your hands is gross.
You wear kleenex boxes on your feet as well?
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Note to self: Never shake hands with Rhett or jdr.
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i certinly wash my hands if i feel it is needed, but the whole automatic hand wash thing after taking a leak is a bit silly. esp. for a low hanging urinal/trough or in a shitter. there is no splatter. that's all i'm saying. dump = handwashing. urinal which causes splatter on hands = handwashing.
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So what do you think about white t-shirts under a polo shirt?
Originally posted by jdr:
i certinly wash my hands if i feel it is needed, but the whole automatic hand wash thing after taking a leak is a bit silly. esp. for a low hanging urinal/trough or in a shitter. there is no splatter. that's all i'm saying. dump = handwashing. urinal which causes splatter on hands = handwashing.
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Originally posted by SalParadise:
i meant to give the girl 3 $20s ($20 tip). but it was dark, i was pretty ripped... next time i go to buy a drink, i notice only 2 $100s are there. so i gave her $140 (2 $20s and a $100). i tell my friends, they're laughing at me...
no way should you have even tried to get your money back, you play, you pay...too funny!
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Originally posted by Celeste:
no way should you have even tried to get your money back, you play, you pay...too funny!
I concur. You had a better chance of magically finding forgotten money in your shoe then you do in getting money back from a stripper.
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Wow, you guys are gross...
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Seriously. It's not like the extra 15 seconds it takes to wash your hands is really a big hindrance on your time, and if your schedule's that tight you might need to take a vacation.
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I think my best strip joint dick move was asking the token small breasted stripper to give me a lap dance.
Half way through the dance, I asked her "Are those real?"
She walked away.
And I was asked to leave. Hey, free half dance though.
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So what do you think about white t-shirts under a polo shirt?
i have never really thought about it. it is probably best to stay away from a polo shirt altogether unless one has occasion to golf i suppose.
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in college i used to go the strip clubs with not much money. in pennsylvania they give you free beer, so i'd drink beer and if a stripper started dancing in front of me i'd watch until it became time to give my dollar. then i'd talk to the person next to me
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I have never been to a strip club.
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camelot has pretty good drink specials featuring $8 beers.
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If the 9:30 Club raises their beer prices again, will that mean naked bartenders?
Originally posted by jdr:
camelot has pretty good drink specials featuring $8 beers.
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one of the venues in pittsburgh used to have strippers during lunch. it was their last ditch effort to get people to come in during the day
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Forgive me if I've told this story before, but my favorite strip joint story was my brother-in-laws buddy who took my nephew's "Thomas the Train" book with him to the strip joint, asked a girl for a lap dance, and instead of her dancing, he read her the book.
After the akwardness ended and she was less concerned about his mental state, he had her for three songs, to finish the book, paid her $60, and came back to our table.
They ended up chatting the whole night, and he went home with her. Absolutely brilliant.
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i have a pretty good one too ... i was maybe 19 at the time, at mons venus in tampa with some friends (jesus, that place is insane) ... this stripper leans down to my friend, who had longish hair at the time i guess, tells him he looks like jim morrison (he looked nothing like jim morrison), and tells him to meet her outside the club ... he goes home with her to her apartment in tampa, she pays the babysitter and puts her kid to sleep, passionate love making ensues, then she gives him $100 for a cab back to sarasota ... a pretty absurd story for a 19 yr-old
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Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
mons venus in tampa
Man, every straight guy I know who's been to Tampa has been to that place. Oy. Though I do think the name is a hoot (speaking of, Clearwater is the home of Hooters you know...)
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I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.
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Taking a course in Portland, OR, and had to go past this strip club every day and they has a 2 for 1 special for Dad's and their highschool aged kids. I had to get a photo of that, but it didn't come out too well.
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Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
mons venus in tampa
memories...
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Originally posted by vansmack:
Forgive me if I've told this story before, but my favorite strip joint story was my brother-in-laws buddy who took my nephew's "Thomas the Train" book with him to the strip joint, asked a girl for a lap dance, and instead of her dancing, he read her the book.
After the akwardness ended and she was less concerned about his mental state, he had her for three songs, to finish the book, paid her $60, and came back to our table.
They ended up chatting the whole night, and he went home with her. Absolutely brilliant.
nice.
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Originally posted by Bags:
Man, every straight guy I know who's been to Tampa has been to that place.
it's an institution ... and it get's a shoutout in wyclef's "perfect gentleman" ... best strip club song of all time? "perfect gentleman"?
Originally posted by Bags:
Oy. Though I do think the name is a hoot (speaking of, Clearwater is the home of Hooters you know...)
of course!
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oops, sorry about that.
Originally posted by El Sugartastic:
I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.
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Originally posted by SalParadise:
Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
mons venus in tampa
memories... [/b]
ok, my mons venus story just came back to me:
we're there. Amy Lynn (howard stern's favorite porn star according to his book/the ad @ mons venus) is the special guest that night. i've never heard of her, but i get a dance with her anyways. we chat some afterwards... i tell her i live in miami, she says she lives in ft. lauderdale and tells me i should check her out at x strip club (forgot the name)...she winds up giving me her #. she also tries getting me to buy another dance the rest of the night, but i was done.
so we go back to the hotel (we were up there to celebrate my brother's having taken the bar) and i mention to the others that amy lynn gave me her #. they're all "holy shit, man you have to call!" and whatnot.
ffwd a week later... i call the number:
(ring ring...old lady's voice): "hello"
"umm, may i speak with amy?"
"this is amy's mother! she doesn't live here. please don't call here looking for her!"
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Originally posted by SalParadise:
"this is amy's mother! she doesn't live here. please don't call here looking for her!"
Wow. If only daddy have given Amy a few more hugs while she was growing up....
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Originally posted by Etan de Balzac, Footie Ball Player:
oops, sorry about that.
Originally posted by El Sugartastic:
I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.
[/b]
The story continues when I turn around, I tripped a little on his foot b/c he was so close. He grabbed my neck (hard I might add) to steady me.
Great. Did you take a dump or a leak that night?
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Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
i have a pretty good one too ... i was maybe 19 at the time, at mons venus in tampa with some friends (jesus, that place is insane) ... this stripper leans down to my friend, who had longish hair at the time i guess, tells him he looks like jim morrison (he looked nothing like jim morrison), and tells him to meet her outside the club ... he goes home with her to her apartment in tampa, she pays the babysitter and puts her kid to sleep, passionate love making ensues, then she gives him $100 for a cab back to sarasota ... a pretty absurd story for a 19 yr-old
it's amazing how many doors having long hair can open for you! As long as you're not 45 or something.
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Originally posted by duderino:
if i'm in the bathroom and i see a guy leave without washing his hands, i like to wait until i see the guy talking to a girl and then come up to them and inform the girl that he didn't wash his hands. but that's not really a dick move. cause not washing your hands is gross.
I bet you got beat up a lot in school.
On my very first venture to the USA on the way home from the Falklands, I'm in the bar in Phillips Crab House at the inner harbour in B'more. The ship is moored right in the inner harbour so the bar is full of Royal Navy lads and the local lasses loving it,even the ones with boyfriends/hubbies. Needless to say, the local men are not too happy with the situation.
I'm in the gents having a pee, and it's quite packed so there's a line for the sinks, I put little Mankie away and stood waiting for a sink, but some doodle must've thought I was leaving so says to me, "In America, boys are taught to wash their hands after using the bathroom." My immediate response, "In England, boys are taught not to piss on their hands" gents erupts with laughter as gobbie doodle leaves with head hung low.
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that's funny! :D
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Originally posted by El Sugartastic:
I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.
Hey, he couldn't have been THAT drunk. He picked someone beautiful to grope...
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Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
"In America, boys are taught to wash their hands after using the bathroom." My immediate response, "In England, boys are taught not to piss on their hands" gents erupts with laughter as gobbie doodle leaves with head hung low.
That joke is so old, some of the youngsters on this board probably think it's a pretty funny "new" joke.
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Venerable (who shared this story with me) and I agree that breaking up two chicks who are making out in a bar has to be the biggest dick move out there!!!
Police: Two NFL cheerleaders arrested at Tampa bar
<img src="http://www.tampabays10.com/assetpool/images/05116164948_cheerleaders.jpg" alt=" - " /> <img src="http://www.tampabays10.com/assetpool/images/051161703_cheerleaders2.jpg" alt=" - " />
Renee Thomas (left)
Angela Keathley (right)
Tampa, Florida â?? Two Carolina Panther cheerleaders spent the night in jail after a rough night in Channelside. The Panthers were in town to play the Bucs Sunday afternoon.
Witnesses say Angela Keathley and Renee Thomas were engaged in some type of sexual activity inside a bathroom stall at Banana Joe's around 2:20 am Sunday. Another woman waiting to use the bathroom got into an argument with the pair.
Police say Thomas punched the woman in the face. When Thomas was arrested, she gave police the name of another Panthers cheerleader.
Thomas could face additional charges for lying to police, once they confirm her identity.
Keathley was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing or opposing an officer, while Thomas was charged with one count of battery.
The two women were taken to Hillsborough County jail, where they both bonded out later Sunday morning.
Tampa Bay's 10 News Video (http://www.tampabays10.com/video/player.aspx?aid=22825&sid=20844)
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Originally posted by vansmack:
Venerable (who shared this story with me) and I agree that breaking up two chicks who are making out in a bar has to be the biggest dick move out there!!!
The only "dick move" I'd make if I saw NFL cheerleaders having sex in a bar restroom would be whipping it out, if you know what I'm sayin'!!!