930 Forums
=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: you be betty on October 14, 2005, 09:57:00 pm
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so, in light of some apparent "recent gang shootouts" happening around the 9:30 neighborhood (that i haven't heard about at all, but are supposedly taking place); my parents have essentially banned me from the 9:30 club.
as many of you know, i'm not even ALLOWED to go to shows on school nights (though my parents have in the past let me go to one or two shows if i've been getting straight A's, and it's apparent that i'm working my tail off). so i went to ask my mom if i could go to the Rooney show today, and she explained that they didn't want me going to the club anymore. the worst part of this all, is that her reasoning sort of makes sense. she kept saying that she'd "be a terrible mother if her daughter got shot," and asking me "is it worth it to get shot and never be able to go to another concert again? do you want me to just let you go get shot?" my parents are obviously concerned, which makes some sort of sense, and i can't really argue (though i do think whatever idea they have in their heads about me getting shot EVERY time i am at a show in DC is proposterous).
i wanted to know if any of you crafty little bastards could think of any points i can argue with here, because when they bring safety into the picture i don't have much i can deal with. while i can reassure my parents that my friends and i are literally walking into the club and out of the club, that the skeevy drunks hangin' out at ben's chili bowl don't have the kind of money to pay to get into these shows every night to pray on little girls like moi, and that they are, themselves, being complete hypocrites (1. they once let my friend and i to nation and we waited outside for them for like four hours at 2am... 2.when my dad was a kid he was going down there all the time and it was worse...RI-DI-CU-LOUS; and i could find so many more flaws in their reasoning but i will spare anybody reading this)...i just...i don't know. going to shows in the DC area has been a struggle with my parents ever since i, um...started going to shows. they never wanted me going down to those areas; but i had been working my ass off so much recently and being such a good kid that they couldn't even say no to me without being complete morons. now they've said no, and i need massive help turning this around.
my mother also brought up something about possibly making me sell my Rufus Wainwright ticket. it's really not a good situation. so please, brainstorm, brainstorm for the children...
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Mother knows best. However looking back to when I was your age, I managed to convince them otherwise. So, if your a bright young girl, you can pull it off. However, pick your battles, is it worth the hassle for Rooney? Maybe let it slide til something you enjoy more makes you brainstorm even harder and the shootings die down.Yep, that's my 2 cents. Getting struck by lightning and getting shot going to a show at the 9:30 are closer odds than you'd probably think.Especially if you don't get youself in a stupid and potentially dangerous situation.On a final note, go with as many friends as possible.There's truly safety in numbers
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a couple ideas...
one suggestion would be to have you parents contact the club's management either via phone or email to discuss thier concerns. this of course could backfire as your parents might not feel reassured by the club's response and be even less inclined to allow you to go to shows.
parents in the past have asked such questions in the FAQ forum and eddie has responded to them.
another option would be to have your parents or a responsible guardian bring you to the show, where they can hang in the backbar during the concert.
i'm guessin' trying to find a private car service with bulletproof glass wont fly either :)
i'll give you props for not posting the standard "I hate my parents" statement so often seen on other forums.
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I have not heard of concert goers getting shot. If anyone gets hurt in that area it is often on Georgia Avenue and not to concert goers.
Once you have gone to shows pandoras box has been opened. It would be a punishment to have that privelege removed.
Try and get your parents to take you and pick you up from the show.
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Originally posted by MTB-Markie:
I have not heard of concert goers getting shot. If anyone gets hurt in that area it is often on Georgia Avenue and not to concert goers.
Once you have gone to shows pandoras box has been opened. It would be a punishment to have that privelege removed.
Try and get your parents to take you and pick you up from the show.
see, that's what i've said. my dad is convinced though, that i'll get shot while walking in or out of the club. i truly have some jewish parents on my case here.
my parents are very inconsistant with their reasoning on what i can and can't do. i went to my first "rock concert" when i was about ten years old. and since then, we'd always had to have a "parent or responsible adult"--at least at club shows (wolf trap and fort reno and whatever we're fine alone) with us at shows (many a time in the past as well, i have even paid for my brothers ticket to shows he had no interest or motivation in going to--just so a friend and i could go see the band). what happened though, is we all start turning 15...we can almost drive ourselves...and the parents that are staying with us at the shows (NOT MINE, EITHER!) don't want to take us anymore, and have realized that we're safe on our own. so we started getting dropped and picked up around may-ish.
all summer long, a debate was raging in this household about whether this was OK or not...my mom thought we were fine, a group of us, getting dropped and picked up at the club; whereas my dad who is often very stubborn about things, just said flat out no. i told him that if he disagrees so much, he needs to just come to a show with me and see for himself that there is no fuss. he gave me a "we'll see."
so basically, in september when i wanted to go to a show at 9:30 my mom and i just kind of overruled my dad and i went with a friend anyway. we got dropped and picked up, and were fine. and i'd been good to go until about LAST WEEK, when my mom started talking about hearing all this stuff about people getting shot in the neighborhood. and then today, she basically told me that she didn't want me at The Black Cat or 9:30 ever again. i'm not sure how much truth that will hold, we'll have to see.
it just sucks, because i'm such a good kid. i'm straightedge for the most part, i am in all honors classes at school AND am even taking a college-level government class right now and i've got straight A's. my high school is one of the best and most-competitive in the whole state, and i also do a ton of extracurriculers, sing and guitar in various bands, and am working on a collection for a fashion show at the end of this year. i hate Bethesda; but it just sucks so much when the only thing i want to do is go stand in a room full of people and see some music, and it's not allowed. i mean, i feel like i could be out prostituting myself for crack and failing out of school and getting twelve abortions and i STILL wouldn't be able to do this. curses, i tell you!
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what if you took a cab that let you out right in front of the club
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Your folks obviously don't want you to end up like Taylor Behl. (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9646779/)
<img src="http://www.misfitting.com/taylor3.jpg" alt=" - " />
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
Your folks obviously don't want you to end up like Taylor Behl. (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9646779/)
<img src="http://www.misfitting.com/taylor3.jpg" alt=" - " />
poor, poor girl. and that has nothing to do with it, because they let me out practically everywhere else...there's just some thing in their heads that tells them "9:30 club = get shot"
the part about getting dropped is irrelevant too, because that's not the problem. we had that solved. the problem now is, how do they get it through their heads that going into that neighborhood does NOT always mean you are going to die??
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First off, how do you get to and from the club and, secondly, with about how many people? Are any of them guys? As long as your parents trust the particular guys sexually, having some males with you should help your appeal.
Finally, do you realize that in this day and age, you probably face more danger at school than a direct commute to and from the front door of the club with no dallying around or other shenanigans? For what it's worth, that's coming from an ex-teacher. Granted, you're in a drastically different school system than I taught in but you told us some stories very recently that top anything that has ever gone on in the entire history of the 9:30 Club, be it the old club or the current one.
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I think you are more likely to get shot at school.
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I agree with what everyone else says. ^ And yes, in my opinion, you are probably more likely to shot in school.
Work on getting your Dad or adult to go with you. Once they're at the club I can bet they'll see how much you love being there and think more about letting you go with friends only.
Are you thinking about going to college in D.C.? Because if you do, I'm sure you can go every night :p
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i think you are going t ohave to runaway from home. its the only possible way. you can then live by the 930club in a box, then you could go to anyshow you want.
or you ca njust tell them that no one has ever been shot there and that you will be safe. just get someone to go with you and all will be well.
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i'd like to point out a few things for reference:
1) it's not an issue anymore of having someone there with us. it's an issue of the time i'm waiting outside (which i started to offer to maybe have an adult wait with us outside while in line), or walking INTO the club and OUT of the club to meet whoever is picking us up directly there.
2) every time i have said that nobody has gotten shot going to a show, my mom goes "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT KIND OF AN ASSUMPTION!"
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Sounds to me like if you want to go to 930/black cat you'll just have to lie about it. Or just lay low for a while and pick the fight up again when you're 15 and a half.
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Originally posted by Chaz, Lover of all Forum Members:
Sounds to me like if you want to go to 930/black cat you'll just have to lie about it. Or just lay low for a while and pick the fight up again when you're 15 and a half.
yeah. it's quite hard to lie when it involves coming back at 2 am smelling like cigarettes...
:(
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Betty, just a few things to use to help you out.
The 9:30 Club area in front of the club and all along the side up to the parking lot is heavily secured by the 9:30 staph even in the crappiest of weather. Any potential criminal element knows that and stays away. Or, at least, they don't try any of their crap around there. In fact, as I said, they tend to just stay well away.
It's also very well lit.
If you have to spend any time outside waiting in line, you are with plenty of other patrons who inadvertantly provide you with the major safety precaution of safety in numbers. Again, any criminal element is going to stay well away from that. You will have no problems at all with any of the club goers and if you by the odd chance do, believe me, the staph will kick their asses over to the other side of the street faster than you could call home on your cell phone and tell Mommy and Daddy that they were right. It just won't be an issue.
As an added bonus, at the end of the evening, there is always a police officer sitting in a car, or there in some manner, just outside the club in full view. I don't know their real purpose of being there other than being pro-active by being there if needed but as long as you aren't an ass, you have no problems whatsoever. I've never seen them harass anyone at all. If anything, they add that extra level of security over and above what is already there provided by the club. Also, I always see plenty of them riding around that section just doing their job and securing the area. And it's not because there is all kinds of crime going on. It's because there are lots and lots of people congregating because of all of the night life which means that they have to have a certain degree of presence there to do their part and help protect the citizens.
If you and your friends are taking the Metro, there are plenty of others doing the same. While DC people can be very anti-social to those they don't know, they generally are very cool about letting you walk along in a group with them for the purpose of safety. They understand the clustering up for the sake of protection and will generally be very cool and even very protective of you if you ask if you can stick near them for the walk if you feel you need a little extra security. You'll just have to resign to leaving right after the show and not hang around hoping to meet the band or whatever. Even then, you would probably be fine. You won't have to rush like a bat out of Hell but instead, follow the flow.
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Originally posted by you be betty:
Originally posted by Chaz, Lover of all Forum Members:
Sounds to me like if you want to go to 930/black cat you'll just have to lie about it. Or just lay low for a while and pick the fight up again when you're 15 and a half.
yeah. it's quite hard to lie when it involves coming back at 2 am smelling like cigarettes...
:( [/b]
Well then you could limit yourself to non-smoking shows or just spend the night at a friends house.
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<img src="http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9511/rabin/reaction/major.jpg" alt=" - " />
He's VERY persuasive & helpful
"Let Betty go to the club. She won't get shot."
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we have genuine DC police hired for every show out front
it is not an ssumption...it is a fact...nobody has ever been shot in front of the 930 Club...although we have thought about it a few times with some of our more annoying patrons
it sounds like they don't want you to go for some other reasons
I'd be happy to call them if it truly is a concern about something on our end
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Originally posted by Seth Hurwitz:
I'd be happy to call them if it truly is a concern about something on our end
Wow...Seth must really want your money!!! But for real....that is way cool of you to offer Seth. You should definately have Seth call your mom. How could they refuse you then, Betty?
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Originally posted by Chaz, Lover of all Forum Members:
You should definately have Seth as your mom???
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i really would like to thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. i'm definitely getting some ideas. seth, if i ever need you as backup; i'll definitely pm it up.
i think that the bottom line at this point is that my parents imagine a bunch of people waiting in line outside, and somebody driving by and shooting. or that's at least the impression i got from talking to my mom yesterday. it leads me to say that, you know, you undergo the risk of that happening ANYWHERE you go. but i can't truthfully say, either, that in that area at that time of night it's not going to have the same liklihood of happening as somewhere in Downtown Bethesda or something.
over the last two or so years, all the other concerns ("sketchy" older guys in the club that might give us trouble, going/not on school nights/whether going to shows affects my grades, having somebody in the club with us or getting dropped and picked up) have all been pretty much addressed & solved. but i mean, every time i say that concert goers don't and are NOT going to get shot outside the club, they play complete devils advocates and flip out. they're right. i have no grounds or authority to say it'll never happen. i just need to convince them it won't.
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Originally posted by Seth Hurwitz:
it sounds like they don't want you to go for some other reasons
I was thinking that too. One of those 'our little baby is growing up so fast and we aren't ready or willing to deal with it yet' kind of syndromes. It happens all of the time around that age, especially for girls.
Betty, just to refine your debating skills, don't you be the one to mention about anyone getting shot outside of the club, even if it's in the negative, as in not getting shot. The human psyche doesn't hear the positive or negative but instead it perceives the basic concept while the cerebral cortex does the analyzing on it's own.
In short, just don't bring it up. Since it's been the winning factor in their arguement so far, they will stick with it. You'll just have to find some kind of way to convince them that kind of stuff just doesn't happen at the 9:30 Club when they do reuse that point. Concentrate on the 9:30 Club itself and not any other venue just to keep it simple and so they can't throw in anything from anywhere else within DC. If they still insist, than you can do the same by including how that those kinds of crimes happen in schools, banks, shopping malls, gas stations, churches (Yes! It's happened!), home!, etc., but history has shown that it hasn't happened and mathematically highly improbable to happen at the 9:30 Club. Should you not go to school? Should you not go to Synagogue? Should you just lock yourself up in your house until they think the world is 100% completely safe to step outside?
It's also like saying that planes crash sometimes. Should you never fly even though there are way more car crashes than plane crashes? Wait a minute. Nix that example or they will throw it back at you next year when you try to get your learner's permit. :D Anyway, you get the idea. Find some similiar topic to counter their arguements. BTW, I'm using the word arguement as meaning oppossing sides of an issue, not as a fight.
Save this too for when they bring it up but almost all drive-by shootings are aimed at a known individual, not random people. (Don't bring up the DC snipers and if they do, they are incarcerated. Also, those kinds of snipers are very rare and can strike anywhere!) Odds are, any drive-by hitman isn't going to go after someone while that person is standing in some kind of line or too many other peope are around. Using the criminal mind, the know there are too many witnesses around! The criminal element will also know there are too many 9:30 Club staph and DC police officers there who are trained to act immediately on any kind of incident like that. They don't want confrontation nor identification therefore they would take their nasty business elsewhere.
Believe me, I fully understand where you are coming from. I missed so many shows when I was your age, partially for the very same reasons. My friends were going and nothing was happening to them. Just had to wait my time out which seemed forever. Now it all goes by way too fast!
Good luck!
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Why are there adults on here giving advice to a child about how to win an argument with her parents? Whatever happened to respecting the parents' decision?
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Why are there adults on here giving advice to a child about how to win an argument with her parents? Whatever happened to respecting the parents' decision?
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
Excuse you, but you've probably been at shows with me and not even noticed. No, I'm not one of those obnoxious kids at shows that jabs on their phone the whole time or yells rude comments at the opener. Take a look around. Half the members in the hipster band you're about to go see are probably only 17.
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
Did you not go to concerts when you were 15? I did. I remember having a great time.
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That does it.
Regardless of chronological age, Rhett is by far the oldest fart on the board!
Betty, touché on your comeback to the cranky old fart. ;)
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I was first allowed to go to concerts when I was 16. They were not held in nightclubs.
Originally posted by MTB-Markie:
Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
Did you not go to concerts when you were 15? I did. I remember having a great time. [/b]
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I know the members of the Drams are in their 30's. Not sure about the members of the High Strung.
I'm glad you're not an obnoxious kid. When I see you at the mall, the record store, or on the bike trail, I will appreciate that. I still don't want kids at the bars and clubs I choose to frequent.
Originally posted by you be betty:
Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Why are there adults on here giving advice to a child about how to win an argument with her parents? Whatever happened to respecting the parents' decision?
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
Excuse you, but you've probably been at shows with me and not even noticed. No, I'm not one of those obnoxious kids at shows that jabs on their phone the whole time or yells rude comments at the opener. Take a look around. Half the members in the hipster band you're about to go see are probably only 17. [/b]
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
I know the members of the Drams are in their 30's. Not sure about the members of the High Strung.
I'm glad you're not an obnoxious kid. When I see you at the mall, the record store, or on the bike trail, I will appreciate that. I still don't want kids at the bars and clubs I choose to frequent.
Originally posted by you be betty:
Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Why are there adults on here giving advice to a child about how to win an argument with her parents? Whatever happened to respecting the parents' decision?
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
Excuse you, but you've probably been at shows with me and not even noticed. No, I'm not one of those obnoxious kids at shows that jabs on their phone the whole time or yells rude comments at the opener. Take a look around. Half the members in the hipster band you're about to go see are probably only 17. [/b]
[/b]
Well then, could you please remove the stick from up your ass and tell us all why?
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Just personal preference. I'd like for bars and clubs to be places where people 18+ can congregate. No children.
The preference would be even stronger if I were single and in my 20's.
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Why are there adults on here giving advice to a child about how to win an argument with her parents? Whatever happened to respecting the parents' decision?
And why would adults want a 15 yr old at a concert anyway? I don't want children at a club concert that I attend.
parents today want to be buddies with their kids not parents. and they are lazy in fighting the peer and pop culture that inundates these hapless kids into looking like hooker-hoochie-mama fellatio :o experts at 12 . and lil johnny is yo-rapboy wigger and 'killin aint no thang biotch' and gee i cant figure out why johnny is into all sorts of bad shit. thats a large part why things r effed up today w kids. and mommy and daddy let them goto 9th st nw w the great protection of other like-minded kids getting into the same risky situations. its premature adulthood all the risks w/o the benfit of the wisdom.
aside from the pipebomb incident [lol] i didnt grow up this way and never wouldve been allowed to go such places nor alone or w other lil brats. guess my parents where square. how awful but i grewuop a pretty well-adjusted person. ok im ready for the onslaugh of derogatory remarks about oh i dont know pube-trimming, come on let me have it i kno its coming!
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Just personal preference. I'd like for bars and clubs to be places where people 18+ can congregate. No children.
The preference would be even stronger if I were single and in my 20's.
See, that's really funny because I have plenty of friends that are single AND in their 20's, and they love to hang out and go to shows with me. You can act as ignorant and stereotypical as you please, but it's coming off as more childish than any "children" in the area.
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Just personal preference. I'd like for bars and clubs to be places where people 18+ can congregate. No children.
The preference would be even stronger if I were single and in my 20's.
live music shouldnt be exclusive to anyone. besides, teenagers these days are knowledgable man. let em have their fun. going to rock concerts isnt exactly the most mature activity 30+ peeps can engage in anyways. so if alt-country starts becoming the latest trend amongst high schoolers, are you going to stop going to see those bands live or just stop listening to that kind of music altogether?
as for you be betty's scenario: i don't think any parent with a sizable income will deny some kind of reward for excellent academic achievements. think of something else you'd really like to have(a car when you're 16 or a killer drumset?) and talk them into getting that in exchange for not being allowed to attend concerts. overbearing parents can be a real drag but if you keep up in school, maybe you can get into a sweet university in a big city and be able to have all kinds of great experiences on your mom and dad's dime. its always wise to think ahead so start planning and working towards that goal now.
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Tell them to visit this forum. They'll soon see you are far, far more likely to become one of our drunken in-the-alley-post-concert sexual conquests then you are to be shot.
On second thought, DO NOT let your parents know this forum exists.
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Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Just personal preference. I'd like for bars and clubs to be places where people 18+ can congregate. No children.
The preference would be even stronger if I were single and in my 20's.
I don't know betty, but from her behavior on here, I'd rather attend a concert with 1200 people who act like her then I'd like to attend a concert with 1200 drunken 23 year old fratboys.
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that's not too much of a compliment, but thanks! ;)
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I'll take solace in the fact that Iota is 21+. The 8x10 Club in Baltimore is 18+, I'm sure there are others that are simliar.
Good grades should be an expectation. The reward should be intrinsic satisfaction and parental approval, not materialistic stuff.
Originally posted by shoot ur shot:
Originally posted by Xavier Bush, Power Forward:
Just personal preference. I'd like for bars and clubs to be places where people 18+ can congregate. No children.
The preference would be even stronger if I were single and in my 20's.
live music shouldnt be exclusive to anyone. besides, teenagers these days are knowledgable man. let em have their fun. going to rock concerts isnt exactly the most mature activity 30+ peeps can engage in anyways. so if alt-country starts becoming the latest trend amongst high schoolers, are you going to stop going to see those bands live or just stop listening to that kind of music altogether?
as for you be betty's scenario: i don't think any parent with a sizable income will deny some kind of reward for excellent academic achievements. think of something else you'd really like to have(a car when you're 16 or a killer drumset?) and talk them into getting that in exchange for not being allowed to attend concerts. overbearing parents can be a real drag but if you keep up in school, maybe you can get into a sweet university in a big city and be able to have all kinds of great experiences on your mom and dad's dime. its always wise to think ahead so start planning and working towards that goal now. [/b]
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Originally posted by you be betty:
so please, brainstorm, brainstorm for the children...
As a just turned sixteen year old, I share some of your pain. My parents and I have an agreement that I can attend any show I want as long as I maintain straight As and pay for the ticket myself. They pick me up after all of the shows, and my friends and I metro down to the shows. I get good grades in hard classes, barely drink or smoke (an anomaly in my Bethesda high school), go to school, don't whore myself on the streets, etc., so they have no reason to say no to me. The second I break our agreement (and they find out), my privileges to go to Black Cat and 9:30 will be revoked. You seem to have had a similar agreement.
Present your parents with the alternative, what you COULD be doing with your weekend nights, with the rest of Bethesda's teenagers. You're more likely to get into a crash because of a drunk teenage driver, or get a citation because of some dumb party than get shot outside of the 9:30 club. If they bring up shootings, ask them to provide specific examples, with dates, from reputable sources. But as someone else said, don't bring up the shootings yourself.
Or just ask for a Kevlar vest for your birthday.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help, thankfully my parents have given up the fight. Although, they wouldn't let me attend the New Pornographers show last night when my friends came up with an extra ticket, because "with that name, god knows what goes on" :roll: . You win some, you lose some, what can I say?
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Originally posted by Graace:
Originally posted by you be betty:
so please, brainstorm, brainstorm for the children...
As a just turned sixteen year old, I share some of your pain. My parents and I have an agreement that I can attend any show I want as long as I maintain straight As and pay for the ticket myself. They pick me up after all of the shows, and my friends and I metro down to the shows. I get good grades in hard classes, barely drink or smoke (an anomaly in my Bethesda high school), go to school, don't whore myself on the streets, etc., so they have no reason to say no to me. The second I break our agreement (and they find out), my privileges to go to Black Cat and 9:30 will be revoked. You seem to have had a similar agreement.
Present your parents with the alternative, what you COULD be doing with your weekend nights, with the rest of Bethesda's teenagers. You're more likely to get into a crash because of a drunk teenage driver, or get a citation because of some dumb party than get shot outside of the 9:30 club. If they bring up shootings, ask them to provide specific examples, with dates, from reputable sources. But as someone else said, don't bring up the shootings yourself.
Or just ask for a Kevlar vest for your birthday.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help, thankfully my parents have given up the fight. Although, they wouldn't let me attend the New Pornographers show last night when my friends came up with an extra ticket, because "with that name, god knows what goes on" :roll: . You win some, you lose some, what can I say? [/b]
hmm definitely done that already!
i believe i said something along the lines of "i'm not going out to drink, do drugs, or have sex; i'm going out to stand in a room and listen to some music. you're LUCKY."
& what school do you go to?
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Originally posted by you be betty:
Originally posted by Graace:
Originally posted by you be betty:
so please, brainstorm, brainstorm for the children...
As a just turned sixteen year old, I share some of your pain. My parents and I have an agreement that I can attend any show I want as long as I maintain straight As and pay for the ticket myself. They pick me up after all of the shows, and my friends and I metro down to the shows. I get good grades in hard classes, barely drink or smoke (an anomaly in my Bethesda high school), go to school, don't whore myself on the streets, etc., so they have no reason to say no to me. The second I break our agreement (and they find out), my privileges to go to Black Cat and 9:30 will be revoked. You seem to have had a similar agreement.
Present your parents with the alternative, what you COULD be doing with your weekend nights, with the rest of Bethesda's teenagers. You're more likely to get into a crash because of a drunk teenage driver, or get a citation because of some dumb party than get shot outside of the 9:30 club. If they bring up shootings, ask them to provide specific examples, with dates, from reputable sources. But as someone else said, don't bring up the shootings yourself.
Or just ask for a Kevlar vest for your birthday.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help, thankfully my parents have given up the fight. Although, they wouldn't let me attend the New Pornographers show last night when my friends came up with an extra ticket, because "with that name, god knows what goes on" :roll: . You win some, you lose some, what can I say? [/b]
hmm definitely done that already!
i believe i said something along the lines of "i'm not going out to drink, do drugs, or have sex; i'm going out to stand in a room and listen to some music. you're LUCKY."
& what school do you go to? [/b]
I'm a junior at B-CC, you?
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For one, I know I'd feel a lot safer if my 15 year old daughter were spending the evening at the 9:30 Club than hanging out behind the Exxon Station. Then again, even that wouldn't bother me too much since it's out in the open because kids need some place to congregate. The 9:30 Club is just as good, if not better, than many of their other options. It all depends on the trust factor of the daughter and the company she keeps. Now, I wouldn't at all allow her to go to Nation based on some things I know but would feel very secure with the 9:30 Club.
Graace, that New Pornographers comment cracked me up. Especially considering how laid back and tame their music is. That had to be kind of funny though.
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it reminded me of last year when a couple of friends of mine were going down to Philly to catch Le Tigre & Gravy Train.
i went to ask my dad, and he goes "What? What kind of person would want to see a band called 'Gravy Train'???"
it cracked me up.
and i'm a sophmore at Whitman :)
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I say get yourself a saturday night special, then if a shoot-out happens during the 15 seconds you'll be waiting to get in the club you can just cap some niggas ass! :roll:
Being a dad of a 15 year old 930-goer, I suggest your parents drop you off at the door of the club, and pick you up again...at the door...after the show. While inside, I can't think of anywhere safer for young people in DC with the staff they employ.
Being a parent requires getting out of the lazy-boy now and again! Hell! Buy them a ticket, they might surprise themselves and actually enjoy the show, or if it's crap there's always the back-bar.
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Betty, this is a surefire way:
Start flunking a couple of your classes. When your parental units inquire of it, you can say, "Gee whiz mommy dearest, but if you had let me go to the Nightclub 930 when I had wanted, then this whole messy business would have been avoided."
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I realize that for many getting that coveted spot up against the rail upfront is important and then why standing in line outside the club to get that spot is required. However at the risk of sounding like a parent is it really that important to be right up front? Yes you are closer to the performers, but the sound is also not as great either. Depending on where you are it will be more of a particular guitarist amps blaring at you then the entire PA mix.
I have found in the past that arriving a few minutes after doors are scheduled to open, the line is either gone or moving quickly. Once inside you'd be suprised how the empty the club still is even after a long line of people have gone in. You might not be right up front, but three or four rows back, good spots along the railing in the balcony.
I realize hanging in line is a social thing, but would you rather see the show or be with your pals on the concrete for a few hours. If you have friends who can stand in line outside, then have them try to save you some space up front. But, don't be overly rude getting in place with them...
You'll have plenty of time in the years to come to be upfront, so for the time being arrive when you are likely able to walk straight into the club...
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Hate to say it Betty but it sounds like you're pretty much screwed. Every reasonable suggestion has been made. Either do things on the sneak or wait til you're older.
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Originally posted by you be betty:
and i'm a sophmore at Whitman :)
Oaky...BUT HOW OLD ARE YOU? why oh why can't doodles just say their age for crying out loud?
For example,
"how old are your kids?"
"Oh, I have a 6th grader and an 8th grader"
That means absolutely nothing.If the 6th grader is a moron and your 8th grader normal, then the 6th grader could very well be older than the 8th grader!
My daughter is 16 and I have no eff'n clue what 'grader' she is! She has two years of school left if that helps.
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Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
Oaky...BUT HOW OLD ARE YOU?
Originally posted by you be betty:
what happened though, is we all start turning 15...we can almost drive ourselves...
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Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
My daughter is 16 and I have no eff'n clue what 'grader' she is!
If she sprang from your loins, then she's definitely below-grade.
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Although, they wouldn't let me attend the New Pornographers show last night when my friends came up with an extra ticket, because "with that name, god knows what goes on" [Roll Eyes] .
Ha! Thats hilarious...although as I bought a New Pornos t-shirt for my wife on Sat night I did wonder whether she'll get any strange looks from the other nursery school moms when she wears it
When I was 15 or 16 I bought a The The t-shirt with the Soul Mining cover art on it and was made to take it back by my irate father because (according to him) "You can't tell if its a man or a woman" :eek:
<img src="http://www.music-on-tnt.com/jpg/soulm.jpg" alt=" - " />
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
If she sprang from your loins, then she's definitely below-grade.
She probably "sprang," or more accurately "exploded out of," Mrs. Mankie's loins. If anything, I guess we could say she "dripped out of" Mankie's loins.
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ah how little parents have changed... mine weren't to jazzed about the Sex Pistols record and my dad was digging on some Damned song titles i.e. "There Ain't No Sanity Clause"
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My dad gave me a Zappa album for my birthday when I turned 16.
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My dad used to call Bowie..."Clara"
He didn't stop me going to concerts though.
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Originally posted by brennser:
:D
(Mankie decides what to listen to tonight)
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I caught my dad smoking reefer when I was 14. But it was no big thang, him having been in Vietnam and all...it was normal for the times.
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
I caught my dad smoking reefer when I was 14. But it was no big thang, he being in Vietnam and all...it was normal for the times.
That post just made me remember a dream I had about smoking hash last night...strange since it's been almost 10 years since I got stoned.
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But my dad did take me to see Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Sun Ra, Stan Getz, etc...
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Originally posted by Chaz, Lover of all Forum Members:
That post just made me remember a dream I had about smoking hash last night...strange since it's been almost 10 years since I got stoned.
I've had that dream too. I haven't been high since '93.
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Mankie now thinking he may switch to Joe Jackson while making dinner.....I'll let the panel decide.
Joe Jackson
or
The The
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Originally posted by kosmo vinyl:
But my dad did take me to see Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Sun Ra, Stan Getz, etc...
I'll bet you're such a big disappointment to him, then?
<img src="http://bestsmileys.com/wink/3.gif" alt=" - " />
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
Originally posted by kosmo vinyl:
But my dad did take me to see Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Sun Ra, Stan Getz, etc...
I'll bet you're such a big disappointment to him, then?
:D
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Originally posted by you be betty:
2) every time i have said that nobody has gotten shot going to a show, my mom goes "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT KIND OF AN ASSUMPTION!"
The club management can verify that, though. If someone's taking you and picking you up directly from the club, I think your parents' safety concerns are unreasonable. I also recommend having them call the club.
How old are you? I do have to say that in the past when you've been upset that you can't got to shows mid-week, etc., I've though that you are so young. You have YEARS of shows to see. I wouldn't sweat and fume over every one you want to attend.
Trust me, I was a crazy music fan at your age as well. And that's, like, 500 shows ago. You will see LOTS of bands. So, as someone said earlier, save your energy trying to get to the really important ones. Fewer shows does engender a bit less concern, I would think.
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she said she's 15 a couple of times
i used to go to concerts around the same age, and used to hang out in not so good neighborhoods. my mom used to get upset once in awhile, but my dad would calm her down. i was a much worse kid than you be betty, who seems quite mature
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I don't think we can possibly be of any more help unless Betty was to post her picture and her AOL screenname. :D
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Originally posted by god's shoeshine:
she said she's 15 a couple of times
I hadn't read entire, long thread when I posted...my bad, I tend to do that when a thread is a couple pages.
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Isn't the 930 club supposedly located in a so-called "bad area" of town???
<img src="http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/COINTELPRO/bpcb11.gif" alt=" - " />
Image from The Black Panther Coloring Book (http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/COINTELPRO/coloring.html), by the F.B.I.
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
My dad gave me a Zappa album for my birthday when I turned 16.
I asked for Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" for hannukah when I was 11, and my dad actually bought it for me
for those of you who aren't hip to the hip-hop, the CD is just one huge pot leaf.
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Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
I asked for Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" for hannukah when I was 11, and my dad actually bought it for me
for those of you who aren't hip to the hip-hop, the CD is just one huge pot leaf.
Maybe he thought it was medicinal?
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Originally posted by clouds R²:
Isn't the 930 club supposedly located in a
Image from The Black Panther Coloring Book (http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/COINTELPRO/coloring.html), by the F.B.I.
if only the "black brothers" who sell drugs to "the black children" would see and think about this picture. what a far cry from what goes on.
<img src="http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/COINTELPRO/bpcb13.gif" alt=" - " />
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Far be it for me to be the voice of reason to a 15 year old girl because I'm exactly what your dad should be afraid of, not the "spree of shootings in the area around the club" , but here's what I would do:
Ask them what it would take to make it happen, and do it. If that means they have to drop you off and pick you up, or an older friend/relative has to chaperone, or the back bar option for an adult to wait for you during the show or on the phone with them on the way in and on the phone with them on the way out until you're in a cab then so be it. Hell, they can even call the club - don't be embarrassed by it.
Ask to be treated like an adult because they've raised you to act like an adult, but respect their parental authority, work out a compromise that allows you to see the bands in return for sacrificing some control over your actions.
You'll be happy and they'll be happy. You might also tell them that you'll go to less shows in exchange for the really important "can't miss" shows. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your folks, os even if they say no, don't start sneaking out. You'll be better off collecting chips to cash in later then ruining a good relationship.
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Originally posted by vansmack:
It sounds like you have a good relationship with your folks, os even if they say no, don't start sneaking out. You'll be better off collecting chips to cash in later then ruining a good relationship.
Definitely follow this advice. Eventually they'll find out, and you won't get that trust back again.
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Yeah, if you're going to sneak out, it should be for something better then a concert. Hot sex with a University of Maryland football player or something like that.
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HAHAHA!
well, y'all were wrong...i actually have a terrible relationship with my parents, but i'm a good kid regardless. then again, my whole family kind of has this massive shitty relationship with eachother, so it's not something i get in trouble for or anything. we're all pretty dysfunctional over here.
living in Bethesda, though, i get extremely pissed off when i see kids screw up their lives through drugs and alcohol and sex and other various "illegal activities." i'm so lucky to be living here in a fairly upper-middle class family (and i'm not even as well off as most of the kids around here), and i've acknowledged this luck and wouldn't screw it over for the world. so, no. i wouldn't be going to sneak out anyway. i may be a teenage girl with a bad relationship with my parents; but i've got a good head on my shoulders.
vansmack, you gave me the best advice i've gotten yet. thank you. i didn't even think about proposing something, like, staying on the phone with them until i'm in the club or not.
kosmo, i've definitely pondered this, as well. for the Rufus Wainwright show, though Ok Go is one of my favorite bands and i'm used to seeing them in a smaller venue; i have offered to arrive at the club later and will have to do so and just attempt to push my way up further. when Tegan & Sara were playing at the club over the summer, i also offered to my dad to arrive about half way through the opening band. he still said no; but i ended up going to see Q and not U that night anyway so it wasn't so bad :cool:
i'm definitely going to try to talk to my parents again about this some time this weekend, and hope something pulls through. the week is too stressful for everyone and definitely not a great time for me to bring something like this up. my defenses are weakened by lack of sleep, anyway.
and, as far as parents taking me to shows? i've pretty much given up. my dad is a music nerd too (our house is filled with cds and a whole room of records--it's obviously where i get it from), and was totally a stoner back in the day too. i'd say he had about a two year phase or so of listening to good rock music, and that's about it. i respect his classical, but he pretty much spends his time insulting what i listen to and blasting his over mine. i think he might respect Ben Folds a little bit, and that's pretty much it. anyway, when i was eleven years old my dad took a friend and i to see Joan Jett & The Blackhearts. he basically sat next to us in the third row the whole time, and while my friend and i were standing on our seats dancing the whole time; my father sat in his chair with earphones in (classical, no doubt, was playing!) reading the paper. i found it very very humerous. he complained all the way home about how loud it was, and since i haven't asked him to chaperone and he hasn't volunteered. he did, though, take me to see The Who in LA last summer which was really great of him.
my mom, also pretty much gets headaches every time i play something. she took me to see Rilo Kiley a year and a half ago in LA, because i desperately wanted to go and had nobody else to go with me. so that was really cool of her. she has been supporting me more than anybody else with going to shows and stuff just until a few days ago, when she heard about these shootings in the area. she was rooting for me all summer. she's also definitely started respecting my musical tastes a bit more, too, because the shows i'm going to are constantly selling out; and my favorite bands are constantly being featured on NPR which she listens to about 24/7.
but whatever, i'm not going to give up. i may seem young, but i am a complete music nerd and i love going to shows so much. the kids i grow up with around here have terrible musical tastes and are preppy, ignorant fucktwats for the most part. so i really need to get out to shows at least once or twice a month. and as far as i'm concerned, i could be doing much worse on my weekends; so i don't see why i shouldn't get to go. vive le rock n' roll!
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Originally posted by you be betty:
vansmack, i didn't even think about proposing something, like, staying on the phone with them until i'm in the club or not.
Believe me, it's from experience.
First off, every kid thinks their relationship with their parents suck. And I'm not saying this because I want to defend your folks and I certainly DO NOT want details about what your relationship with your folks is like. My hypocrisy has it's boundaries. I look back and laugh at how well I had it, but if you'd have asked me then.....all the while my folks took me to see The Dead and Bob Dylan, the Stones, and, of all things The Who in LA. It takes a pretty cool parent to do stuff like that. Sure they hated Social D, Love and Rockets and The Smiths etc., but we found common ground.
Second, I did the sneak to a show thing back in the day because my mom did the sneak to a show back in the day (she snuck to Hollywood to see the Beatle's at The Hollywood Bowl in the 60's, I snuck to LA to see U2 at the LA Sports Arena in the 80s). Both of us had miserable experiences trying to get home and ended up having to call a family member in the end to get home. We laugh now about how easy it would have been to ask for help prior. After that, I worked it out with them, and a compromise was found. I didn't see every show, but I saw enough shows to fill my thirst for live music.
Good luck and it's not the end of the world. You'll see more shows in college and after you get your first real job then you'll know what to do with. They even become a blur after a while.