See if you can beat this story.
We were on the balcony, with rail spots. This nut job was dancing around harassing people around us. He was bumping into everybody, myself included. We did our bet to ignore him and watch the show. The next thing I know, he's seated on the risers behind me, and starts repeatedly biting my ass cheek. I turned around and slapped him in the head, and he looked at me and exclaimed, "I just wanted to eat some ass."
He's lucky he didn't do that to a homophobic redneck. If that had been the case, he could have ended up with some serious injuries.