I did a funny

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

So my wife and I were shopping at Trader Joes yesterday. We were each buying our own shit, so we were in separate checkout lines. She finished first, and I saw her waiting outsie for me.
 
 When I was checking out, the PA was playing that horrid song where the guy growls "With Arms Wide Open..."; I remember the contestants on the Rock Star show oversinging it. My wife later told me it was Creed.
 
 So I go out the door, and there is my fastwalking (I can't keep up with her half the time, even at eight months pregnant) wife, half way to the car. She must have seen me finish up inside and got a head start on me to the car. So I ran to catch up to her, and from behind started growling twice as hard as the Creed guy does, "With Arrrrrmmmms Wide Oooopen..." until I was about a foot away from her, with arms wide open...
 
 And this fiftysomething woman dressed like my wife, with similiar hair (from behind) turns around with a horrified look on her face.
 
 Shit.

[nkotb]

YES!  That's a great story.
 
 A few years ago, I was with a girlfriend at DSW.  I spent a good portion of the time walking behind her while she constantly pointed out shoes and kept mentioning how "cute" they were.  Bored to tears, I decided to venture off on my own to look at the men's section.  After looking at everything (a process that I'm sure the men will appreciate took me all of 5 minutes), I walked up behind her and said "Now those are super cute!"
 
 Just like with Rhett, it wasn't my girlfriend.

[Frank Gallagher]

How about mistaken groping! I was guilty of that at Montgomery Mall a long time ago. We were in the make-up section at Nordstrom or someplace. I wandered off a bit while my then g/f (now wife) was looking for this particular brand of foundation/spackle. I found my way back to the make-up section and saw who I thought was the back of my wife talking to one of the sales clerks, so I just went up behind her and started to give her lower back and bum one of those affectionate strokes....only to see my wife across the counter making her purchase!    :eek:   When the lady who was having her bum carressed by yours truly turned around the fact that all the color in my face disappeared I think was enough to realize it was an honest case of mistaken identity. All I could do was mumble something while pointing at my wife who had the same hairstyle,  hair color, and was about the same height and size. Thank God she saw the funny side of it.
 
 Even to this day I blush when I think of it.