Author Topic: Attn Director - Sting sucks.  (Read 1957 times)

miss pretentious

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Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« on: October 09, 2007, 10:05:00 am »
A la WaPo.
 
 Sting tops list of worst lyricists (Reuters)
 Monday, October 8, 2007; 6:20 PM
 
 LOS ANGELES - Maybe Sting should start writing more instrumentals.
 
 The school teacher-turned-rock star topped Blender's list of the worst lyricists, thanks to lines that betray "mountainous pomposity (and) cloying spirituality," the music magazine said.
 
 The survey, contained in the November issue that hits newsstands next week, placed Rush drummer Neil Peart at No. 2, Creed frontman Scott Stapp at No. 3, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at No. 4, and soft-rocker Dan Fogelberg at No. 5.
 
 Blender assailed Sting for such alleged sins as name-dropping Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov in the Police tune "Don't Stand So Close to Me," quoting a Volvo bumper sticker ("If You Love Someone Set Them Free"), and co-opting the works of Chaucer, St. Augustine and Shakespeare.
 
 A spokeswoman for the English rocker, who is currently in Belgium on the Police's reunion world tour, did not respond to a request for comment.
 
 Blender described Canadian rocker Peart's lyrics as "richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science," and said Gallagher "seemed incapable of following a metaphor through a single line, let alone a whole verse."
 
 Further down the ranks, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant (No. 23) was derided for his Tolkienesque musings on Gollum and Mordor in "Ramble On."
 
 Carly Simon (No. 31) was mocked for rhyming "yacht," "apricot" and "gavotte" in "You're So Vain."
 
 Paul McCartney made No. 38, thanks in part to "Ebony and Ivory," his socially conscious duet with Stevie Wonder.
nothx

TheDirector217

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2007, 10:36:00 am »
I laugh at this list. Ha-ha. Ha.
 
 
 Period.

StoneTheCrow

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2007, 10:44:00 am »
I agree with every person mentioned in that article.
 
 Wonder where Anthony Kiedis ranks on that list.

nkotb

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2007, 10:49:00 am »
Lyrics are totally subjective, sure, but let's face some cold hard facts...
 
 If I wrote songs referencing Gollum and the Misty Mountains (and I'm not saying I don't), I would get my ass kicked.  Instead, Plant got to smack a groupie's ass with a shark.
 
 Also, no rock lyrics should ever be taken out of the context of the song.  It just makes everything seem like it should be written in a high-schooler's composition book.

godsshoeshine

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2007, 10:55:00 am »
he supports the toon. free pass
o/\o

Cali

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2007, 01:10:00 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by StoneTheCrow:
  Wonder where Anthony Kiedis ranks on that list.
i knew someone would mention him....he's no. 40, not the worst so leave him be

HoyaSaxa03

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2007, 12:35:00 am »
Quote
Originally posted by nkotb:
  Also, no rock lyrics should ever be taken out of the context of the song.  It just makes everything seem like it should be written in a high-schooler's composition book.
** ahem **
 
 the editors of The Norton Anthology of Poetry would beg to differ with you
 
 Oh, I'm sailin' away my own true love,
 I'm sailin' away in the morning.
 Is there something I can send you from across the sea,
 From the place that I'll be landing?
 
 No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love,
 There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'.
 Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled,
 From across that lonesome ocean.
 
 Oh, but I just thought you might want something fine
 Made of silver or of golden,
 Either from the mountains of Madrid
 Or from the coast of Barcelona.
 
 Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
 And the diamonds from the deepest ocean,
 I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss,
 For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'.
 
 That I might be gone a long time
 And it's only that I'm askin',
 Is there something I can send you to remember me by,
 To make your time more easy passin'.
 
 Oh, how can, how can you ask me again,
 It only brings me sorrow.
 The same thing I want from you today,
 I would want again tomorrow.
 
 I got a letter on a lonesome day,
 It was from her ship a-sailin',
 Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again,
 It depends on how I'm a-feelin'.
 
 Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way,
 I'm sure your mind is roamin'.
 I'm sure your heart is not with me,
 But with the country to where you're goin'.
 
 So take heed, take heed of the western wind,
 Take heed of the stormy weather.
 And yes, there's something you can send back to me,
 Spanish boots of Spanish leather.
(o|o)

nkotb

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2007, 08:54:00 am »
Ok, you got me there...although I was being a bit sarcastic.  
 
 
Quote
Originally posted by Hoya Paranoia:
   
Quote
Originally posted by nkotb:
  Also, no rock lyrics should ever be taken out of the context of the song.  It just makes everything seem like it should be written in a high-schooler's composition book.
** ahem **\[/b]

azaghal1981

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Re: Attn Director - Sting sucks.
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2007, 10:40:00 am »
If Jim Morrison isn't on this list, it's null and void.
 
 
 Talk about writing puke-worthy nonsensical garbage.
احمد