James Carville: Evolution Of The Species

[Ikarus]

i've learned the hard way about posting something awful links, but here's an excerpt:
 
 "Although the remains of the first James Carville have yet to be excavated, it is widely accepted that it emerged from the ocean somewhere near 30,000,000 B.C. as a crossbreed of the coelacanth and an unidentified form of sentient fungus. Taking its first uncertain steps on the continent now known as Africa, the young creature scampered out of the harsh rays of the sun and into a nearby tree canopy, beginning its long and fascinating trek into history.
 
 For several thousand years, James Carvilles lived in the shadows and sustained themselves on insects and the occasional wounded dinosaur. Masters of stealth and opportunistic attacks with no natural enemies to thin their numbers (Republicans wouldn't come for several millennia), they thrived and were given the luxury of a peaceful era in which they could multiply and evolve. As the end result of this period, they came to resemble velociraptors in many ways (size, general appearance, scaly hide, singing voice). Their razor sharp talons were used to eviscerate prey and straighten their fashionable neckties. Their craniums doubled in size, which served dual purposes. Increased brain capacity improved Carvilles' ability to outsmart enemies and debate the pros and cons of sleeping in tar pits, while the larger forehead allowed Carvilles to temporarily stun prey by reflecting the sun directly into their eyes. Much like the modern day gopher, James Carville was truly the ruler of the animal kingdom."
 
 great site if you have a pulse and a sense of humor. check it out at somethingawful.whatever,  just use google.  the photoshop phriday feature is a weekly must-see.

[walkonby]

about five or six years ago, i was a waiter in winchester, virginia (bad enough), and had the misfortune of being assigned to James C., his wife and family.  They were rude, crude, and not in the mood.  I knew who they were, what they pretended to be, and attempted to give them service i thought they expected from servers, having eaten at "God knows how many stuck up places."  the best part of the whole experience, was the fact they had a black woman nanny who took care of the kids . . . 100%.  Mother and father didn't not speak to their children, respect them, be parental figures to them, comprehend their existance in the reality of any space in time; they just let the nanny take care of the problem(s).  The entire time they read newspapers, and a book, and lightly talked amongst themselves.  Then they left a 5% tip.  Nice.  But seeing their pathetic lives up close and impersonal was payment enough.  
 
 Thank Jesus that W. is saving the sanctity of marriage.

[ratioci nation]

Originally posted by walkonby:
  about five or six years ago, i was a waiter in winchester, virginia (bad enough), and had the misfortune of being assigned to James C., his wife and family.  They were rude, crude, and not in the mood.  I knew who they were, what they pretended to be, and attempted to give them service i thought they expected from servers, having eaten at "God knows how many stuck up places."  the best part of the whole experience, was the fact they had a black woman nanny who took care of the kids . . . 100%.  Mother and father didn't not speak to their children, respect them, be parental figures to them, comprehend their existance in the reality of any space in time; they just let the nanny take care of the problem(s).  The entire time they read newspapers, and a book, and lightly talked amongst themselves.  Then they left a 5% tip.  Nice.  But seeing their pathetic lives up close and impersonal was payment enough.  
 
 Thank Jesus that W. is saving the sanctity of marriage.

he and his wife sat in front of me at a movie and talked all the way through it, they sure seem obnoxious

Originally posted by pollard:
  he and his wife sat in front of me at a movie and talked all the way through it, they sure seem obnoxious

Which movie?

[Ikarus]

i waited tables in georgetown, and i'd say that's par for the course for pols.  they're so out of touch.
 
 still, i'd like to someday see jimmy in a thunderdome death match against someone like, say, bill cowher.

[ratioci nation]

Originally posted by marquee smith:
  Which movie?

nothing I was too upset about having interrupted, ocean's 11