Author Topic: The Apes to Tear Shit Up on June Tour  (Read 1561 times)

nkotb

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The Apes to Tear Shit Up on June Tour
« on: June 04, 2003, 09:40:00 am »
From Pitchfork:
 
 The Apes to Tear Shit Up on June Tour
 Like Craig Toomey in The Langoliers
 Marnie Christenson reports:
 What are we to make of The Apes, these lesser beings from which we sprang, only to eclipse them in intelligence, motor skills and performance? Wait, hold up, did we say "performance"? 'Fraid that's a big, glaring mistake-hole right there at the beginning of our reputable news article! Surely you've heard the tales of these wily characters' stage assault?!
 
 Well, we won't spoil the surprise, but we will tell you a bit about how their new album, Oddeyesee, was just released in May on Les Savy Fav's Frenchkiss Records, and how, musical-strangeness-wise, it's on par with Bruce Haack's Electric Lucifer, and how its lyrics depict a river voyage in search of a two-headed butterfly that possesses fantastic powers of perception. Seriously.
 
 Want to know something else? "The Apes emerged from the wet, heavy jungle of Washington DC in 1999 to command the rock subculture. Their modus: uniting great warlords, absorbing rogue factions, and educating red-handed guerilla bands with a passionately wayward rock signal." Nope, that's not one of those militerrific Donald Rumsfeld quotes from the height of Operation: Fuck Shit Up; it's the band's own personal agenda, straight off their uncharacteristically artless website.
 
 But how do they sound? Well, that is the important thing to consider when dealing with a music band. Suffice to say, The Apes are a hard-rockin' quartet with an organ fixation, who've earned comparisons to everyone (well, not everyone) from Deep Purple and Blue Cheer. Intrigued? Fuck you, it's about time. So here's the deal: to employ an overused pun, these guys are set to begin a nationwide 'rampage' on Friday in the smoketastic NC burb of Winston-Salem, and you're gonna get off your whiny, flabby assbutt and witness the slaughter. During the course of the entire 24-date massacre, they have scheduled but one measly day off. This is a testament to their insanity. In short: for those about to rock, we permit you. Prepare to die.
 
 06-06 Winston-Salem, NC - PS211
 06-07 Knoxville, TN - The Pilot Light
 06-08 Atlanta, GA - The Earl w/ Shakeoff, Exploder
 06-09 Jackson, MS - Martin's
 06-10 Houston, TX - Fat Cat's
 06-11 Austin, TX - Emo's (w/ Need New Body, The Lily's, The Swirlies)
 06-12 Denton, TX - Rubber Gloves
 06-14 Phoenix, AZ - Modified (w/ The Bangs)
 06-15 Los Angeles, CA - Spaceland (w/ GoGoGo Airheart, The Last Great Liar, Nervous Return)
 06-16 San Diego, CA - The Casbah (w/ GoGoGo Airheart, Dance Disaster Movement)
 06-17 San Francisco, CA - Hemlock
 06-18 Oakland, CA - 21 Grand
 06-19 Portland, OR - Blackbird (w/ All Girl Summer Fun Band)
 06-20 Vancouver, BC - Pic Pub
 06-21 Seattle, WA - The Vera Project (Talent show)
 06-22 Missoula, MT - The Union
 06-23 Salt Lake City, UT - The Urban Lounge
 06-24 Denver, CO - Larimer Lounge
 06-25 Lawrence, KS - Replay
 06-26 Columbia, MO - Mojo's
 06-27 St. Louis, MO - TBA
 06-28 Chicago, IL - Fireside Bowl
 06-29 Akron, OH - Lime Spider
 06-30 Rochester, NY - The Bug Jar
 
 Beep-boo-doo-da-doo-doo-doo, this just in from The Planet of The Apes: bassist Erick Jackson tells us that upon return from their June tour, The Apes "will head to the mountains of West Virginia to start writing material for our new seven-inch entitled 'Tapestry Mastery' as well as material for a new full-length. Much like John Denver we will let the 'Mountain Mommas' provide the inspiration. When not locked in a log cabin we will be locked in drummer Jeff's basement quietly working on songs/playing X-box till his parents yell at us." Whoa-ho! Looks like Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell just met its match.
 
 Jackson also tells us that he, organist Amanda Kleinman, and "throat chieftan" Paul Weil will all be working on various art projects for upcoming exhibits, though that is all that's not known about that as of right this second.

thirsty moore

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Re: The Apes to Tear Shit Up on June Tour
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2003, 09:56:00 am »
Quote
Originally posted by nkotb:
 Intrigued? Fuck you, it's about time.
Hahaha... Too true.  Perhaps they will play DC.

Ikarus

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Re: The Apes to Tear Shit Up on June Tour
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2003, 11:03:00 am »
Quote
Originally posted by nkotb:
  Much like John Denver we will let the 'Mountain Mommas' provide the inspiration.
that's the second reference to that song that i've read this morning.  a disturbing omen.  i'm gonna spend the rest of the day hiding in a closet or something.