Next weeks Dan Savage column will apparently be dedicated to vaginal farting...oh joy, can't wait.
But to whet your appetite, here's one from a couple of weeks ago:
One night, after my husband and I made love and were enjoying the post-act euphoria, I passed gas. To my husband's horror, it let out a wet, juicy sound. While he checked the sheets to see if they needed to be changed, I told him that the fart went between the lips of my vagina. Since I was wet from all the cum, both his and mine, it made a wet noise, but the fart itself was quite dry. That disgusted my husband even moreâ??and then I made the mistake of telling him that my farts normally take that path. Does this happen to other women? After sex or other times? It seems to me that the fart's path of least resistance would be through the lips of the vagina, whether post-coital or not. The butt cheeks may be a closer exit, but why not go the other way around? Dan, am I a circus freak or what? â??Forced Air Ruined the Sheets
Before anyone accuses me of being a misogynistic, woman-hatin' big gay cocksucker, I'd like to say this in my own defense: I just calmly and coolly entertained two questions about female ejaculation without cracking a single joke at the expense of female anatomy. So I hope the Ms. magazine subscribers out there will forgive me for this: Oh my God! Eesh! Yuck! Before FARTS's letter arrived, I had never contemplated the precise path a woman's gas takes as it makes its way from butthole to the ozone layerâ??and, to be frank, it's not something I'm particularly pleased about having to contemplate now. I mean, I get paid a lot to do this job, but I don't get paid that much. Still, if there are any women out there who would like to address this issue, and perhaps let FARTS know that she is not alone, I will happily do a follow-up column on this subjectâ??not because this subject interests me, but because it will, without a doubt, have my readers begging me to start writing columns about santorum again instead. Oh, speaking of santorum: Spreadingsantorum.com is now the No. 1 result when you Google "Santorum"!
