Goddamn that David Segal. I think we should all write letters to the editor to try to get his ass fired. I bet the motherfucker didn't even go to the show.
Lil' Kim's Quickie 9:30 Concert
David Segal Live Online
By David Segal
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, July 26, 2003; Page C01
Lil' Kim's show at the 9:30 club on Thursday night was more like a booty call than a concert. She showed up well after midnight, launched an all-out seduction as soon as her feet hit the stage and was out the door in less than 45 minutes. She did everything but raid the fridge and promise to call the next day.
Like a lot of late-night ravishings, this one was momentarily exhilarating but left you feeling a bit empty. Kim arrived a good 90 minutes late -- she was slated for an 11 o'clock start and wasn't underway until 12:30 a.m. -- so it seemed like she'd been partying elsewhere all evening and dropped by when other options fizzled. For $35, ticket holders heard about a dozen songs, which seemed stingy given the audience's marathon wait, much of it spent listening to a couple of hapless MCs talk in circles.
"I'm stalling right now," one of them candidly announced. "I'm figuring that in three more minutes, you all will start booing."
But like any good booty-caller, Kim knows exactly what she can get away with, and nearly everyone in this crowd fell at her high heels as soon as she strutted into view. In action, she's an irresistible dynamo; even with a couple dozen spectators milling on stage, there was never a doubt that this micro-diva in dark sunglasses was running the show.
Aside from Kim and that mass of gawkers, of course, there wasn't much to look at. The music came from a DJ, who spun tunes until Kim was through with them, and the only suspense was whether our augmented leading lady would burst out of her bikini top. It seemed possible, if only because she kept leaning into the crowd, chest first. Two middle-aged men in suits walked menacingly toward fans who seemed on the verge of getting too friendly.
"It's hard for me to do five things at once, even though I'm Superwoman," she said, one of her few printable asides. Kim's talent is one of her favorite subjects, right up there with the scale of her sex drive (apparently great) and the size of her bank account (even greater). The gal might be a nun in real life, but Thursday night she seemed thoroughly credible as a one-upping vixen in leather pants.
Fans know every one of this character's lines. Kim would stop in mid-verse to let the audience finish a stanza. "If worse comes to worse, keep this on the hush," they shouted during the chorus of "Crush on You," one of her better known tales of conspicuous consumption. They chanted along during her tribute to Biggie Smalls, her long-deceased mentor and the man who ushered her to success. And they cheered when she left the stage and ended the show with a hard-to-follow parting shot at rapper 50 Cent.
Her long mane of brown hair then disappeared as suddenly as it arrived. It was a thrilling little tryst, but over so fast you had to wonder: Will Lil' Kim respect us in the morning?
© 2003 The Washington Post Company
