Liverpool football manager Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the World
looking
for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey and hopefully win Liverpool the
title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks
will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch him
and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20 minutes
left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on and he takes
off Emile Heskey. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins
the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are
delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he
phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0
down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players
and the media, they all love me".
"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot
in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and your brother has
joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".
The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".
"Sorry!" says his Mum, "It's your bloody fault that we moved to Liverpool in
the first place!"
