Things Smackie Thinks You Need to Know...

[vansmack]

The board is full of douchebaggery today, so I'm going to tell a story about yesterday.
 
 I'm minding my own business at my desk when I receive a text message from my Token Black Friend.
 
   

So I just *happened* to be in the Farragut area 4 work & I just *happened* to walk into [the club].  [The Bartender]'s body is crazy too.  I'm weak.;-)  

After insulting my good friend for being somewhere I wished to be at, I aksed him to tell her I said hello.
 
   

Sure will.  Cues up Mental iPod Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here"

After advising him to not play that in the club, I wished him well and to enjoy himself.
 
 Sometime (the exact amount is not to be expressed here) passes, and I receive a picture mail text.  Now, I know my friend knows the rules so he must have gotten permission, but if your last text was from your buddy at a club and then you get a picture mail, naturally smackie gets a little excited.
 
 Open the message and sure enough, it's a picture of my friend with the smokin hot bartender outside the club.  
 
 Being the classy guy that I am, I tell my friend how much I hate him.  Then how much I think he's the man.
 
   

Oh no.  YOU are the man. I am just..wait for it..The Director.  

Beaming with glee all day at my friend's accomplishment, I take smackette to dinner and fill her on the story over a High Life.  Upon showing her the picture, she smiles and says "how cute, they even have their 'Jungle Fever' hands together"  I'm not one to waste The High Life, but even I spit out a little there.
 
 I'm pretty sure The Director is still laughing at that comment.  Jungle Fever Hands.  Classic.  
 
 So, that begs the question.  The bartender in a gentelemans club is either the hottest girl in the club or the oldest and usually a retired performer.  Ignoring the old one, is the bartender at a gentlemans club the hottest because:
 
  </font>

• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">she's the only one with something left to the imagination</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">her morals are slightly corrupted in that she works at a strip joint but not corrupted enough to be a stripper</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">or something else brilliant that Smackie's not thinking about</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">
 I pose that to the group to discuss.

[ggw]

Story would be better if you included said picture.
 
 

Originally posted by vansmack:
  The board is full of douchebaggery today, so I'm going to tell a story about yesterday.
 
 I'm minding my own business at my desk when I receive a text message from my Token Black Friend.
 
   

So I just *happened* to be in the Farragut area 4 work & I just *happened* to walk into [the club].  [The Bartender]'s body is crazy too.  I'm weak.;-)  

After insulting my good friend for being somewhere I wished to be at, I aksed him to tell her I said hello.
 
   

Sure will.  Cues up Mental iPod Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here"

After advising him to not play that in the club, I wished him well and to enjoy himself.
 
 Sometime (the exact amount is not to be expressed here) passes, and I receive a picture mail text.  Now, I know my friend knows the rules so he must have gotten permission, but if your last text was from your buddy at a club and then you get a picture mail, naturally smackie gets a little excited.
 
 Open the message and sure enough, it's a picture of my friend with the smokin hot bartender outside the club.  
 
 Being the classy guy that I am, I tell my friend how much I hate him.  Then how much I think he's the man.
 
   

Oh no.  YOU are the man. I am just..wait for it..The Director.  

Beaming with glee all day at my friend's accomplishment, I take smackette to dinner and fill her on the story over a High Life.  Upon showing her the picture, she smiles and says "how cute, they even have their 'Jungle Fever' hands together"  I'm not one to waste The High Life, but even I spit out a little there.
 
 I'm pretty sure The Director is still laughing at that comment.  Jungle Fever Hands.  Classic.  
 
 So, that begs the question.  The bartender in a gentelemans club is either the hottest girl in the club or the oldest and usually a retired performer.  Ignoring the old one, is the bartender at a gentlemans club the hottest because:
 
  </font>

• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">she's the only one with something left to the imagination</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">her morals are slightly corrupted in that she works at a strip joint but not corrupted enough to be a stripper</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">or something else brilliant that Smackie's not thinking about</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Arial, Veranda">
  I pose that to the group to discuss. [/b]

[vansmack]

Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:
  Story would be better if you included said picture.
 
   

My bad.
 
  <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3134/2476774292_ceda0e29fe.jpg?v=0" alt=" - " />

[godsshoeshine]

[godsshoeshine]

oh and shes the hottest because she is the giver of the high lifes

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

Anybody is going to appear hot next to his ugly mug. And she does, barely.  

[sweetcell]

last year, it was the BBcode martini glass. this year's POTY: see above.
 
 congrats, it's only may and you pretty much have this one wrapped up.

[vansmack]

Originally posted by sweetcell:
   the BBcode martini glass.  

I had nearly forgetten about that.
 
 Unfortunately, the UBB software no longer considers me logged in consistently (despite being able to post).  The downside to this is that I can no longer preview new posts.  There will be no smackie interpretation of electronic origami this year.

[vansmack]

One too many visits to Sacramento this year arguing with the legislature.
 
 They've plotted their revenge:
 
 California tax proposals target beer-loving, pornography-watching yacht owners
 
 Strip clubs, six-packs, grocery bags and iTunes downloads are all in their sights as alternatives to broad income or sales tax hikes.
 
 It's on like Donkey Kong now!

[sonickteam2]

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
  Anybody is going to appear hot next to his ugly mug. And she does, barely.      

at least my boy's eyebrows look real.
 
   I have the opposite view on bartenders at strip clubs...
 
 see, since strippers lack "natural beauty"  who wants a girl that looks like a stripper yet doesnt even take her clothes off...isnt that really their only redeeming quality?

[vansmack]

Originally posted by Erinaceous Sonickus:
 
   I have the opposite view on bartenders at strip clubs...
 
 see, since strippers lack "natural beauty"  who wants a girl that looks like a stripper yet doesnt even take her clothes off...isnt that really their only redeeming quality?

Interesting.  I like to talk to people, which is strange, because in general, I hate people, but I find strippers some of the most fascinating people to talk to.  After you get through the whole "My name's Cinnamon and I live in Newport Beach" crap, there's a lot more meat behind there than you give them credit for.

[vansmack]

At some point consumers will realize that these exclusive deals are bad for them...
 
 RIM introduces first new Blackberry in over a year
 
 Shares of Research In Motion Ltd. rose to a new all-time high Monday as the smart-phone maker unveiled the Bold, which is its first major new BlackBerry model in more than a year.
 
 RIM said Monday that the Bold, which has twice the screen resolution of the company's current Curve device, dual-band Wi-Fi and GPS capabilities, will be available from carriers this summer.
 
 AT&T Inc. said Monday that it will be the exclusive carrier for the Bold in the U.S.; its 3G network is the only one stateside that is compatible with the first model of the handset.

[vansmack]

Today's  Rock Band Downloadable tracks have me just giddy....
 
 Hanging on the Telephone - Blondie
 Train in Vain - The Clash
 And this little Sonic Youth Ditty....

[thirsty moore]

Are you going to liberate those strippers from male white corporate oppression?
 
 

Originally posted by vansmack:
 And this little Sonic Youth Ditty....

[vansmack]

Originally posted by econo:
  Are you going to liberate those strippers from male white corporate oppression?
 
 

Every. Chance. I. Get.