Just Announced

[amnesiac]

Originally posted by Relaxer:
  That looks like the track listing of a Fall Out Boy record.

Or the next Sufjan Stevens album...

[TheDirector217]

Originally posted by Relaxer:
   

Originally posted by ixkpd-bk:
     

Originally posted by amnesiac:
     

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.
 
 I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.
 
 Brian

He's really not funny. At all. But what makes me really mad is that he got to make out with Jessica Alba       :mad:     [/b]

This is lifted from Gabriel Delahaye's (of Gawker's The Unethicist) blog. A real Jessica Alba quote:
 
 JESSICA ALBA: Yeah, I�??ve always been wanting to do comedy. That�??s one of the main reasons I got into this business in the first place. I�??ve always loved to make people laugh and it was the way that I sort of broke the ice when I was a kid with my friends. I�??d always do little skits or do little things, do anything really, to make people laugh. Oddly, in this business, I never really got a shot at it. I�??m not good at the half-hour comedy ba-dum-bump stuff. I�??m more into the physical comedy.
 
 Jessica Alba�??s first album will, of course, be titled �??Half-Hour Comedy Ba-Dum-Bump Stuff�?�. Here is a track listing (subject to change).
 
 1. Intro
 2. When I Wash My Hair, You Guys, I Follow the Instructions on the Shampoo Bottle
 3. What�??s the Most Money You Think You Could Spend on a Pair of Jeans? Double It, Then Get Them for Free from Your Publicist
 4. Sushi (Skit)
 5. This One Time I Was Hanging Out with Jack Nicholson in a Hot Tub, You Guys
 6. Did You Ever Notice How There�??s More Leg-Room in First Class?
 7. Grape Nuts
 8. One Time I Farted and Gold Came Out (Skit)
 9. What�??s the Deal with Cashmere Blends?
 10. I Tell Reporters I�??m a �??Total Dork�?� to Try and Avoid the Public Image of a Self-Obsessed, Vapid, Talentless Sex Object Who Only Has About Three More Years of Career Left Before Slowly Drinking Myself to Death in a �??Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?�?� Scenario Come to Life, Which Is More Accurate.
 11. Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Well, the Answer is No.
 12. Farts and Butts
 13. The Difference Between Having Sex for Money and Being Jessica Alba Is There Aren�??t Any Temper Tantrums in Having Sex for Money
 14. A Joke I Stole from Dane Cook
 15. I�??m Surprised I�??m Not a Cocktail Waitress, Too
 16. Darfur (skit)
 17. The Sexiest Woman Alive Still Stares Into The Gaping Maw of the Eternal Nothing When the Sun Goes Down
 18. Outro [/b]

That looks like the track listing of a Fall Out Boy record. [/b]

Let's wrap it up & put a bow on it, fam.  Post of the week.

[Sage 703]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  
 
 Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL?

[TheDirector217]

Originally posted by callat703:
   

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  
 
 Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL? [/b]

*crickets*

[Mobius]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.
 
 I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.
 
 Brian

Dude its official.  Sobriety isn't working for you. Or something.  Enjoying Dane Cook (proudly) is like finding yourself in a burning car b/c you crashed into the median going 120 while drunk and watching porn on your TV DVD. Its a wake-up call to reevaluate your values.  Its not the hipsters that don't like him - its anyone with a sense of humor.

[TheDirector217]

Originally posted by Mobius:
     

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.
 
 I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.
 
 Brian

Dude its official.  Sobriety isn't working for you. Or something.  Enjoying Dane Cook (proudly) is like finding yourself in a burning car b/c you crashed into the median going 120 while drunk and watching porn on your TV DVD. Its a wake-up call to reevaluate your values.  Its not the hipsters that don't like him - its anyone with a sense of humor. [/b]

*EPIPHANY/SIMILE POST*
 
 A slight edit to post I made earlier this week:
 
 Something like an SAT question:
 
 Brian Walalce = Rhett, Jr.
 
 Rhett & Brian = 930's resident haters
 
 Rhett & Brian are to 9:30 board
 
 what     <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/StatlerAndWaldorf.jpg" alt=" - " />
 
 are to The Muppet Show.
 
 Rhett & Brian = The New Millenium Statler & Waldorf
 
 Flowchart, please???
 
 The Dihrectour

[DeathFromAbove1979]

Originally posted by TheDirector217:
   

Originally posted by Shemp:
   

Originally posted by DeathFromAbove1979:
  Dane Cook
 Verizon Center
 Washington, DC
 Fri, 11/16/07
 On Sale Fri, 10/12/07
 
 

How does this guy have a career? [/b]

Funny you bring that up.  Is there anyone here that would pay $100 plus service charges to see this cat??  Anyone?? [/b]

I think he was hysterical, it seems like after Tourgasm and Vicious Circle his head got really big and he just wanted money that came through shitty movies.
 
 Harmful if Swallowed and Retaliation are still ridiculous comedy albums.

[sweetcell]

Originally posted by callat703:
   

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  
 
 Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL? [/b]

the number of post-of-the-week candidates in the past 24 hours is mind-boggling.

[Sage 703]

Originally posted by sweetcell:
   

Originally posted by callat703:
   

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  I enjoy Dane Cook.  
 
 Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL? [/b]

the number of post-of-the-week candidates in the past 24 hours is mind-boggling. [/b]

To be fair, the essential follow up that TheDirector provided completed the post.

[Brian_Wallace]

Originally posted by TheDirector217:
  Rhett & Brian = 930's resident haters
 
 

I'm not a hater.  I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.
 
 Brian
 
 P.S.  Your mash note to U2 the other day was heartwarming, Mr. Director.

[sweetcell]

Originally posted by DeathFromAbove1979:
  I think he was hysterical
 
 Harmful if Swallowed and Retaliation are still ridiculous comedy albums.

DFA79, you're like 16, right?
 
 i'm seeing a pattern here.

[Sage 703]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
   

Originally posted by TheDirector217:
  Rhett & Brian = 930's resident haters
 
 

I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.
 
 Brian
 
 [/b]

You mean an aversion to...musicians?  Talent?

[sweetcell]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
 I'm not a hater.  I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian?

[Sage 703]

Originally posted by sweetcell:
   

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
 I'm not a hater.  I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian? [/b]

I think he somehow managed to keep his appearance in Pete Wentz's home movie out of the public eye.

[Brian_Wallace]

Originally posted by sweetcell:
 who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian?

No one.  I don't fellate.  But, why don't you tell us all who YOU enjoy fellating and confirm all those ugly rumors.
 
 Brian