Parental Eunuchs

[Frank Gallagher]

My boy just turned 5 earlier this month.
 
 Last night he said to his mum, "Can you ask Santa if he could come during the day because I won't be very happy if he wakes me up, and you know how grumpy I am if I don't get a good nights sleep"
 
 !!!!!  

[Relaxer]

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  My boy just turned 5 earlier this month.
 
 Last night he said to his mum, "Can you ask Santa if he could come during the day because I won't be very happy if he wakes me up, and you know how grumpy I am if I don't get a good nights sleep"
 
 !!!!!      

What a well-mannered young man. How nice for you. My son deliberately locks eyes with me from across the room, smiles, and then shits himself.

[SPARX]

Originally posted by Relaxer:
   

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  My boy just turned 5 earlier this month.
 
 Last night he said to his mum, "Can you ask Santa if he could come during the day because I won't be very happy if he wakes me up, and you know how grumpy I am if I don't get a good nights sleep"
 
 !!!!!      

What a well-mannered young man. How nice for you. My son deliberately locks eyes with me from across the room, smiles, and then shits himself. [/b]

These 2 posts just made me reconsider not having kids. Thanks for the laugh. What I like most about kids is their brutal honesty, even if it's the most inopportune of moments.

[Frank Gallagher]

You have to have kids - wives never laugh at the old 'pull my finger'!!!!!
 
 
 My son likes to sing the star spangled banner while he's in the bathroom taking a dump. Only it's not 'spangled' it's 'spingled'
 
 When he recites the pledge of allegiance he says
 
  "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Publix for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.",
 
 Publix is the name of the largest grocery store chain down here. I don't have the heart to correct him, besides I think it's better than the original as written by the founding fathers..

[SPARX]

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  You have to have kids - wives never laugh at the old 'pull my finger'!!!!!
 
 
 

I'm fairly certain I should not breed. I can  get the thrill of younguns vicariously through threads like these as well as family and friends kids. I commend you all on your patience though as well as the ability to function on a lack of sleep. I have alot of problem in those areas.
 I enjoy the thrill of watching the amazement of kids seeing/doing something for the 1st time but I enjoy peace and quiet a little more I suppose.
 I've enjoyed this thread but no kids for me thanks. Great stories, keep em coming. Kids do incredible things you couldn't fathom if you didn't see it or hear it yourself.
 
 Don't even get me started on people who don't know when to stop reproducing, that's a whole other can o' worms.
 
 p.s. I'm not so sure I'd want the wife who laughed at "pull my finger"    

[vansmack]

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  You have to have kids - wives never laugh at the old 'pull my finger'!!!!!
 

Smackette shockingly still laughs at that.  She was an only child...

[vansmack]

Originally posted by SPARX:
  Don't even get me started on people who don't know when to stop reproducing, that's a whole other can o' worms.
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqa4LpdtOD8
 
 The first three minutes sums up my thoughts...

[HoyaSaxa03]

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  besides I think it's better than the original as written by the founding fathers..

you mean "as written by right-wing catholics in the 1950s"

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

You're wrong as well.
 
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pledge_of_Allegiance
 
 
 The Pledge of allegance was written for the popular kid's magazine Youth's Companion by Christian Socialist author and Baptist minister Francis Bellamy on September 7, 1892. The owners of Youth's Companion were selling flags to schools, and approached Bellamy to write the Pledge for their advertising campaign. It was marketed as a way to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Columbus arriving in the Americas and was first published on the following day.
 
 
 

Originally posted by Hoya Paranoia:
   

Originally posted by Brain Walrus:
  besides I think it's better than the original as written by the founding fathers..

you mean "as written by right-wing catholics in the 1950s" [/b]

[Frank Gallagher]

WOW!!! So the pledge was just a shameless marketing campaign!! How perfectly American!!
 
 And it makes sense the founding fathers never wrote it or it would read more like.....
 
 
 "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all...except for niggers"

[kosmo vinyl]

Originally posted by vansmack:
   

Originally posted by SPARX:
  Don't even get me started on people who don't know when to stop reproducing, that's a whole other can o' worms.
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqa4LpdtOD8
 
 The first three minutes sums up my thoughts... [/b]

Having just seen Idiocracy, that is precisely what I thought you were linking to....  While the film wasn't perfect there was some great visual effects and lines through out.

[godsshoeshine]

i like money

[you be betty]

i like clean cats

[beetsnotbeats]

Originally posted by you be betty:
  i like clean cats

<insert jpeg of Triumph here>