Snowball Justice Has Been Achieved

[Jaguar]

(Putting this in here instead of in the Onion thread just to keep the snow stories together.)

Can't say that this guy shouldn't be reprimanded in some way, but I've got to admit that there is a side of me that wishes this guy were my neighbor. Kind of a local rogue hero of sorts.

"Police say man stole front loader to plow driveways

A Columbia man has been arrested after police say he stole a front loader and used it to clear driveways.

A Caterpillar skid steer loader was reported stolen sometime between Friday and Monday from a parking garage on U.S. 1 and Mission Road in Jessup, Howard County police said. The vehicle was equipped with LoJack, and on Tuesday morning officers traced it to a home in Laurel and found it parked in the driveway, police said.

The homeowners said a friend had left it there after clearing their driveway, and police worked to track the man down.

David Earl Bryant, 40, of the 9600 block of Hingston Downs has been charged with felony theft, theft, motor vehicle theft, unauthorized use of a vehicle, and removing or defacing a VIN number. Electronic court records show Bryant was released on his own recognizance and he did not appear to have a prior criminal record in Maryland."

[Jaguar]

The reason it's a felony is because they actually THREW A SNOWBALL AT A COP.    That's assaulting a police officer.  How fucking stupid do you have to be to do that?

UNDERCOVER

How do you know if she knew he was a cop?

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

Um... because they were uniformed cops, they were not undercover.  They were regular cops, in patrol cars, flashing lights and all, responding to a complaint made by a resident of the neighborhood.

And if the neighborhood residents are awake and calling 911 at 2am, that kind of undermines the "harmless fun" argument also.

Seriously, only a lifetime of mom and dad bailing you out of life's tricky situations would lead you to believe you can throw shit at uniformed cops with impunity.

[Jaguar]

Having only the article to go by, there is nothing stating that they were uniformed but they did say the car was unmarked which are usually used by plain clothed detectives and other non-uniformed officers. Maybe you know something not stated.

If she knowingly threw it at a uniformed cop, than that was pretty damn dumb on her part but to charge her with a felony is taking things too far. If any charges should be placed, they should be in the misdemeanor range. Misdemeanors are not a slap on the wrist unless you've actually done something much more heinious.

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

There are more details on DCist.com.   The cars were marked -- if you read something about an unmarked, it is likely from the earlier incident, in December.

Not knowing the law in detail, but I am guessing assaulting a police officer is a felony no matter what.

[hutch]

Come on lets call a spade a spade: DC COPS ARE PRICKS!

I don't ever want to be agreeing with them.

[vansmack]

And since we're calling a spade a spade, this will never be a felony charge.  With no outstanding warrants (or series of previous arrests) this will be pled down to a misdemeanor and sentenced to community service.  It will take the cops longer to do the paperwork then it will to do the community service - ridiculous waste of taxpayer money.

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

Vansmack, you left out "and because of the efforts of the expensive lawyers her parents will get her."

Apparently she does have a history of prior arrests though.   From the inevitable Facebook fan page that has sprung up:

"Maria, I hope you are OK, I am thinking of you!! You are so brave, having been arrested so many times for bullshit reasons!!!"

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

I can't believe I agree completely with Doctor Doom (well, minus the wealth bashing). I'm sure, whatever the outcome of the trial, that idiot won't throw a snowball at someone who doesn't want to be in a snowball fight again. Only sad thing is that the police have to teach people the class and civility the rest of us were taught in our exclusive pre-K classes.

[walkonby]

i like it when people are taught lessons in life.  life is good like that.  it teaches you where others have failed.

[vansmack]

Vansmack, you left out "and because of the efforts of the expensive lawyers her parents will get her."

I don't think so.  Even a decent Public Defender can get this pleaded down to a misdemeanor - District Attorney's are not likely to push for felony here given the circumstances - again assuming there's not a long list of priors.

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

I can't believe I agree completely with Doctor Doom (well, minus the wealth bashing).

I can put your mind at ease -- I have nothing against wealth, I just think it's worth pointing out that the type of people who scream "oppression" loudest are usually society's most privileged.   You can bet that if a cop arrested a kid for snowballing in the neighboring housing projects, there wouldn't be multiple blogs going on about it and a Facebook fan page set up.

[nkotb]

There would be a bad-ass mural tagged on a neighborhood wall, though. 

I can't believe I agree completely with Doctor Doom (well, minus the wealth bashing).

I can put your mind at ease -- I have nothing against wealth, I just think it's worth pointing out that the type of people who scream "oppression" loudest are usually society's most privileged.   You can bet that if a cop arrested a kid for snowballing in the neighboring housing projects, there wouldn't be multiple blogs going on about it and a Facebook fan page set up.

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

I can't believe I agree completely with Doctor Doom (well, minus the wealth bashing).

I can put your mind at ease -- I have nothing against wealth, I just think it's worth pointing out that the type of people who scream "oppression" loudest are usually society's most privileged. 

And as I pointed out a thousand times in Julian's America, the reason for this phenomenon is that when something bad happens to the upper class, the other 90% of the population often acts like they had it coming. Robin Hood, hero or terrorist?

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

I can't believe I agree completely with Doctor Doom (well, minus the wealth bashing).

I can put your mind at ease -- I have nothing against wealth, I just think it's worth pointing out that the type of people who scream "oppression" loudest are usually society's most privileged. 

And as I pointed out a thousand times in Julian's America, the reason for this phenomenon is that when something bad happens to the upper class, the other 90% of the population often acts like they had it coming. Robin Hood, hero or terrorist?

And that's probably why I don't read "Julian's America."   I would argue that if you throw stuff at cops, you *do* have it coming.