Author Topic: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy  (Read 42096 times)

saintangelsin

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #210 on: September 04, 2018, 07:22:41 pm »
5 years today.

RIP Brother.

Cannot believe it's been over 5 years. And his birthday is coming up too. Which is another tough day.

It’s today and he would’ve been 42. And believe me, it really got me on Saturday that it’s been 5 years since he’s left us.

I’ve never posted on this thread. When the news hit, I actually started the day with a text message from a friend telling me that Josh was found dead. His death was just as surreal as my own father’s which was back on October 1, 2010.

The first time I ever went to a show at the club was September 2, 1998. I was 13, and my sister at the time was 10. My mom drove us all the way from Cumberland to DC. It was always a family affair - my mom, Dad, and younger sister. Sometimes we met up with friends or had friends go with us.

At the time of Josh’s death, I had known him for 15 years. He saw me grew up. This past Sunday would’ve made it 20...twenty years of 9:30 club patronage isn’t too shabby right?

Anyhow, over the years, my family became known to door staff as by our last name “Oh it’s the Lahmans! How was the trip down from Frostburg?” Haha. Everyone was pretty amused how we’d travel so far to see bands when we could.

My mom who is a social worker was always very protective of my sister and I. But the club especially because of Josh, she knew damn well we were okay and safe. It was nice to have a little freedom while seeing bands I loved when I was 13/14/15 years old. Couldn’t do that at many places.

Anyhow, eventually, I was able to attend a few shows with friends as I got older. And it gave my mom peace of mind knowing that if anything were to happen, Josh was my go to guy. The same went with my sister.

Anyhow, I didn’t become super close to Josh until I got older, but believe me, my 15 year old self is thankful he saved me during hardcore shows.

During the time I got busy with being a music journalist, I would see him all the time at places outside the club. Warped Tours and HFStivals. He would be chilling backstage. We’d talk music. He’d ask me where my family is and was delighted and surprised that they were around watching bands. He’d usually end up hanging out with my sister.

When I transferred to University of Maryland, he was fucking proud that I got in. And always made me feel at home at the club especially when I went to shows by myself. He could tell I was homesick and it felt a little weird being at a show without my family. Granted, being in College Park allowed me to attend way more in a given year. He’d always ask how my parents were doing and would be like “tell your folks I said hello!”

I have a few fun memories such as Josh and my mom discussing tattoos, or the time in 2007 (family outing in which I got picked up in College Park) we all ran into him at Ramshead in Baltimore because we were seeing the Cult. He and my dad discussed their favorite Cult albums and I know my dad told him all about his guitars and gear he had from his days of playing in bands. (My Dad was a musician) I specifically remember Josh’s friend making the joke about Ramshead being the “Applebee’s of music venues” and we all just laughed.

At the 2012 Virgin FreeFest, my sister hungout with him during a few sets. I later heard from her and then him that when our father died, we should’ve gotten a hold of him. I said “how? It’s not like we got his number.” And that’s when I found out if my mom, sister or I needed anything to give the club a call and leave a message for him to call us back. I was seriously in tears. Never thought to do that when my dad passed. I didn’t think it mattered much ya know? Especially since the last time we all had been to the club as a family was like 2006.

I wish badly back then I told him about how I was struggling to get my life started. Sure I graduated from UMD in 2009, but was still unemployed at the time. (These days it’s more like underemployed, but I’m trying my best) I wish I gave him my number and said “call me when you need anything”

My mom is a mental health professional. Clinical social worker.

The last time I saw Josh, it was at New Order at Merriweather. I was busy trying to keep up with my friends and he looked busy with doing work. I waved, and he smiled and waved back. What I really wanted to do was walk over and give him a hug. His hugs are famous for a reason, but I wanted to give him a hug because I considered him such a dear friend and it had been so long since I had seen him.

At the world’s fair event in 2016, I got a 9:30 club tattoo on my wrist. I spent a few days debating about doing this. I wanted something to commemorate my favorite place in the world. I wanted something to pay tribute to my youth and all the amazing times I had there with my friends and family. I was 90% sure but wasn’t fully committed until I got out of my car and a member of staff that I’m friends with (Scamus) told me the artist doing the tattoos was Josh’s artist. That sold me. So yeah, I have this 9:30 on my right wrist in tribute to him, the club, all the shows, my friends and family who went with me all those times, and to my friends who either work or used to work at the club.




Julian, Semi-Retired WUNDERKIND

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #211 on: September 04, 2018, 07:29:13 pm »
That is so cool you got 930 tattooed on you in honor of the integer thread. Really honored.
LVMH

Space Freely

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #212 on: September 04, 2018, 10:45:02 pm »
I didn't take Josh's death that hard but oddly I find myself getting a little sad about Anthony Bourdain, who i didn't know either.

Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #213 on: September 05, 2018, 08:45:12 am »
thanks for sharing saintangelsin
LAMF

saintangelsin

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #214 on: September 05, 2018, 04:50:45 pm »
I didn't take Josh's death that hard but oddly I find myself getting a little sad about Anthony Bourdain, who i didn't know either.

I totally understand. Ugh. Bourdain’s death was/still is brutal for me, because a. I was a long time, hardcore fan (I slept with pretty much all of his books on the shelving that is my bed’s backboard), b. He’s my hero (I taught myself to cook and started to really give a shit about what I ate in college because of his first two tv shows especially No Reservations), and c. Two weeks before he died, I had a personal emotional crisis that had it not been for me asking for help (not to mention, I was lucky in realizing that something was terribly wrong) and having the luck that my psychiatrist was able to see me ASAP and he knew all I needed was an adjustment of my medications, I would probably be dead right now. Granted, it took a month of an increase of this particular med for me to not feel so horrible but once my blood levels were up, I was back to my normal self.

I hate that suicidal tendencies are way more complicated than I can explain and my own situation could easily be a book. It pains me that one of the only people I greatly admired in media who gave me hope that maybe I could still have a career late in life (ie - after the age of 30), after all of my own fuckups in life, took his own life just two weeks after I almost made the same horrible mistake. I spent weeks this past summer trying to understand why I still had some part of me that reacted and called out for help, yet poor Bourdain didn’t.

I don’t normally share my personal life on here, but at this point after being on this forum since the age of 15 and I’m now 33, I really don’t care if Julian or someone else wants to be a prick about it. Y’all don’t have to battle the same shit I put up with. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about others, because I do care. I’m just over hiding my own struggles.

thanks for sharing saintangelsin

Thanks for reading, and you’re quite welcome.

Julian, Semi-Retired WUNDERKIND

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #215 on: September 05, 2018, 04:52:42 pm »
I really don’t care if Julian or someone else wants to be a prick about it.
Oh, I was just joking around. It was a very nice story. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. :)
LVMH

walkonbyeeeeeeeee

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #216 on: September 05, 2018, 05:29:06 pm »
5 years today.

RIP Brother.

Cannot believe it's been over 5 years. And his birthday is coming up too. Which is another tough day.

It’s today and he would’ve been 42. And believe me, it really got me on Saturday that it’s been 5 years since he’s left us.

I’ve never posted on this thread. When the news hit, I actually started the day with a text message from a friend telling me that Josh was found dead. His death was just as surreal as my own father’s which was back on October 1, 2010.

The first time I ever went to a show at the club was September 2, 1998. I was 13, and my sister at the time was 10. My mom drove us all the way from Cumberland to DC. It was always a family affair - my mom, Dad, and younger sister. Sometimes we met up with friends or had friends go with us.

At the time of Josh’s death, I had known him for 15 years. He saw me grew up. This past Sunday would’ve made it 20...twenty years of 9:30 club patronage isn’t too shabby right?

Anyhow, over the years, my family became known to door staff as by our last name “Oh it’s the Lahmans! How was the trip down from Frostburg?” Haha. Everyone was pretty amused how we’d travel so far to see bands when we could.

My mom who is a social worker was always very protective of my sister and I. But the club especially because of Josh, she knew damn well we were okay and safe. It was nice to have a little freedom while seeing bands I loved when I was 13/14/15 years old. Couldn’t do that at many places.

Anyhow, eventually, I was able to attend a few shows with friends as I got older. And it gave my mom peace of mind knowing that if anything were to happen, Josh was my go to guy. The same went with my sister.

Anyhow, I didn’t become super close to Josh until I got older, but believe me, my 15 year old self is thankful he saved me during hardcore shows.

During the time I got busy with being a music journalist, I would see him all the time at places outside the club. Warped Tours and HFStivals. He would be chilling backstage. We’d talk music. He’d ask me where my family is and was delighted and surprised that they were around watching bands. He’d usually end up hanging out with my sister.

When I transferred to University of Maryland, he was fucking proud that I got in. And always made me feel at home at the club especially when I went to shows by myself. He could tell I was homesick and it felt a little weird being at a show without my family. Granted, being in College Park allowed me to attend way more in a given year. He’d always ask how my parents were doing and would be like “tell your folks I said hello!”

I have a few fun memories such as Josh and my mom discussing tattoos, or the time in 2007 (family outing in which I got picked up in College Park) we all ran into him at Ramshead in Baltimore because we were seeing the Cult. He and my dad discussed their favorite Cult albums and I know my dad told him all about his guitars and gear he had from his days of playing in bands. (My Dad was a musician) I specifically remember Josh’s friend making the joke about Ramshead being the “Applebee’s of music venues” and we all just laughed.

At the 2012 Virgin FreeFest, my sister hungout with him during a few sets. I later heard from her and then him that when our father died, we should’ve gotten a hold of him. I said “how? It’s not like we got his number.” And that’s when I found out if my mom, sister or I needed anything to give the club a call and leave a message for him to call us back. I was seriously in tears. Never thought to do that when my dad passed. I didn’t think it mattered much ya know? Especially since the last time we all had been to the club as a family was like 2006.

I wish badly back then I told him about how I was struggling to get my life started. Sure I graduated from UMD in 2009, but was still unemployed at the time. (These days it’s more like underemployed, but I’m trying my best) I wish I gave him my number and said “call me when you need anything”

My mom is a mental health professional. Clinical social worker.

The last time I saw Josh, it was at New Order at Merriweather. I was busy trying to keep up with my friends and he looked busy with doing work. I waved, and he smiled and waved back. What I really wanted to do was walk over and give him a hug. His hugs are famous for a reason, but I wanted to give him a hug because I considered him such a dear friend and it had been so long since I had seen him.

At the world’s fair event in 2016, I got a 9:30 club tattoo on my wrist. I spent a few days debating about doing this. I wanted something to commemorate my favorite place in the world. I wanted something to pay tribute to my youth and all the amazing times I had there with my friends and family. I was 90% sure but wasn’t fully committed until I got out of my car and a member of staff that I’m friends with (Scamus) told me the artist doing the tattoos was Josh’s artist. That sold me. So yeah, I have this 9:30 on my right wrist in tribute to him, the club, all the shows, my friends and family who went with me all those times, and to my friends who either work or used to work at the club.

this, might be . . . one of the greatest things, written on here.  I seem to remember I met, saint, at the surprise smashing pumpkins show where they showed up in a convertible.  I think I acted weird when I was around her, because she was so damn beautiful.  I act, like a goofy high schooler around good looking women.

Unsanity

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #217 on: September 06, 2018, 04:36:02 am »
That was a great read. Thanks for sharing.

saintangelsin

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #218 on: September 13, 2018, 02:47:56 am »
I really don’t care if Julian or someone else wants to be a prick about it.
Oh, I was just joking around. It was a very nice story. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. :)

No worries. Honestly, I was just doing a preemptive strike and was quite emotional when I wrote that. I suck at being open about my own mental health issues, which is hilarious because in terms of activism I’m pretty outspoken about helping those who have them.

this, might be . . . one of the greatest things, written on here.  I seem to remember I met, saint, at the surprise smashing pumpkins show where they showed up in a convertible.  I think I acted weird when I was around her, because she was so damn beautiful.  I act, like a goofy high schooler around good looking women.


Thank you for the kind words. I wish I was at that surprise Pumkins show, but unfortunately I wasn’t. Only two times I saw them was at V-fest in 2007, and at DAR in 2008 with Julian actually. But hey, maybe we did meet at some show and if we did, a. I probably had no idea you thought I was beautiful and b. My esteem is pretty craptastic so are you sure you met me? Beautiful isn’t exactly an adjective I’ve had thrown near me aside from my things my parents would say lol.

That was a great read. Thanks for sharing.

My pleasure. Thank you for reading.

hutch

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #219 on: September 13, 2018, 01:04:28 pm »
It’s still a shocking loss all these years later

sweetcell

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #220 on: September 13, 2018, 02:59:51 pm »
<sig>

Julian, Semi-Retired WUNDERKIND

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Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #221 on: September 13, 2018, 03:02:22 pm »

That's garbage wine. Find a better way to honor his memory.
LVMH

Re: RIP - Josh Burdette - thatguy
« Reply #222 on: September 13, 2018, 03:17:01 pm »
tis true

there is the 'reserve'...but that is still only a $18 bottle of meh wine



but THIS seems a little more appropriate
BIG JOSH's Tattoo Pigment Protector Salve 1.5 oz
LAMF