Who wants to rap battle!?

[Purported Online Luminary]

Yo, yo, holla from Jump Up Like It's A Nightmare!, DC's most awesomest rap crew!! Equal parts Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All and Cee Lo Green, and 100% homeless, we are DCs premiere MCs. Since the 930 is DCs elite venue, we figured DCs elite rap clique should be on here and represent.

As a show of our love for you all, we will freestyle a rap battle for anyone who wants one, and feel free to share ya own!

-- Markus the Engineer + Rebecca B + Weezy Pete + Todd Legwarmer + Calypso the Panhandling Bandit + Tie Rone + Pimple Nuts on the 1s and 2s = Jump Up Like It's A Nightmare! (4eva and always)

[walkonby]

this is why i should have moved to richmond and married you.

the rise . . . and soon fall of julian's return will be a blessed event. 

like that wedding.

i bow in your direction.

[Relaxer]

Can we just rap battle on the board?

I'm so dope
You ain't rope
Clinton from Hope
Not black, taupe

[Purported Online Luminary]

Listen here, walkonby!
Bout to school ya, and you know why!
This battle was over before it started,
This shiz here aint 4 the weakhearted!
U come at me and that's all you got!?
...Ohh yeah, I forgot!
Youre a bitch!
With lame ass shizz!
Come on man,
You ain't even set a battle plan!
But I destroy you wit' dis!
Cause I'm the shit with this!
I be spittin' fire on the mike, they should call me dragon!
You can try to be hard but your rhymes are saggin'!
Down to the floor,
Child please! Everyone knows the score!
Shutout!!
What, what?!?

[walkonby]

i like the new and improved julian.  and he acts black too.  double bonus. 

[Purported Online Luminary]

You need to shut the hell up, Relaxer!
Before I beat you up and make you sniff some shellac, sir!
You think you hardcore and all that, but you ain't all that!
I?ll prove it by beating you down to the mat!
You cant rap, and thats a fookin fact!
So just get off yo computer and stop yo motherfooking act!
Let real rappers do their thing, cuz they no good shit!
If you don't do that, I'll give u a hard hit!
And I'm speakin' the truth right there,
Cuz bitch, when you rap, no one will really care!
Maybe you need a vacation so get the hell outta town!
And chil' don't talk shit to me 'cuz i will put the smackdown!
WWE style!! What, what!?

[walkonby]

there is post of the day, post of the week


but this here does have the power to be thread of the year.


and just once . . . i would love to see a "rapper" create a "song" that each line doesn't rhyme with the last.  is that possible?  or are there rules in rap music?  it's so confusing.

[Jaguar]

Ardamus, get your ass in here! You may have met your match.

[Relaxer]

Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and tip my hat to rhyming "relaxer" with "shellac, sir"

[Purported Online Luminary]

i like the new and improved julian.  and he acts black too.  double bonus. 

J.U.L.I.A.N. improves every day. But your "black" comments are ignorant and small-minded. Hip hop is a vibrant and alive artform that people of every social class and ethnicity enjoy.

[ggw]

Where is that one thread that was asking who the most hated member of the forum was?

[vansmack]

Where is that one thread that was asking who the most hated member of the forum was?

GGW
FTW. 

[Purported Online Luminary]

East side, east side, yes you are!
Do you like the way I say "Jaguar"??
Fook the east side, mane!
This right here a west side thing!
You comin' at me chil' but you can't maintain!
These here lyrics gonna shoegaze ya brain!
Now you sic your 3 bitches on me!
Named: JR, F-U, and NTK!
I keep livin' that west side life!
I'm as sharp as an H Street pocket knife!
You can claim my rhymes are weak, but son, yours be crap!
You're a good example of why east side fell off the map!
Your flow is whore-style loose!
The contra-positive? My flow equates to drug abuse!
Your lyrics are small; man, mine much bigger!
"That's what she said?" F pullin' that tired trigger!
Your mom said it herself: she gave birth to a fookin' crackhead,
Come at me, son, you'll be seein' red!
That's the Big Red style of Tie Rone to be exact,
I'm living the thug life with all the paper I've stacked!
All you can drop is a max of 10 bars!
You fook with me you're gonna be left with scars!
You call me "lil boy"??
Child, what you need is to employ,
A motherfookin bodyguard!
Cause I be laying out chumps with no regard!
What, what?!!

[walkonby]

pace yourself.

i almost yawned already.

don't let the sun go down on julian just yet.

[Purported Online Luminary]

Look who popped in GGDubs.
Fatass eats every meal at B3Dubs!
You think you hardcore?
You bout as soft as a baby?s dick!
You ain?t neva done no crimes or no murderous shit!
Neva sold no drugs neva eva copped no bricks!
You dat dude in da car lettin' da cops kno shizz!
Rich kid turned bitch, givin' da cops da news!
Now a bitch turned snitch,
You shoulda read dem rules!
Now u snitch to get rich,
You know I be holdin' dem tools!
Like da mario brothers,
I got boyz in my click dat?ll body yo mother!
You claim to be a thug u more like ah fuckin beverly hillbilly!
I?ll smack da fook out ya and have u lookin real silly!
The  real reason u wanna battle so you can copy and paste!
The only time you a thug is on AOL or myspace!
Real rappers spit dat fire while u rap and sing!
I been doin this shit forever, you a one night fling!
A one try wonder,
You write some shit like ?where's that thread?, what a blunder!
Triple lettered playboy you need to stick to dat rock and roll,
Fuck violence I let my lyrics talk: cock, lock and load!
What, what!?!?