Dear Ted Leonsis:
For years, us Caps fans have accepted your bullshit takes of "Be patient. We're doing things the right way." All season long, we accepted your bullshit take of "We're transitioning into a defense-oriented team." All season long, we accepted your bullshit take that "we're building a team for the postseason."
Fuck you, Ted. We're sick of your bullshit phony karmic philosophies. Your happy-go-lucky garbage like "The Pursuit of Happiness (Made Easier When You're Smoking Blunts Rolled in $1,000 Bills)" We're sick of you endorsing regular season hockey players. We're sick and fucking tired of you and your GM, George McPhee, continuing to bloat the egos of your young, regular-season oriented, defense-allergic players with huge fucking contracts they don't deserve. Stop telling us you're "locking up the core of your franchise." You eliminated the hunger from these young charges and you are reaping the fucking rewards.
We're sick and fucking tired of you, Ted. You can't teach old dogs new tricks. How the hell were a bunch of finesse, soft and offensive-oriented players like Backstrom and Semin (who need to be traded IMMEDIATELY), Fehr, Bradley, Green, Shultz, Alzner and Carlson all of the sudden going play defense-first, hard-nosed playoff hockey? They weren't. Watching Ovechkin sacrifice his body while assholes like Semin and Backstrom float around the top of the circles, waiting for a blast? Get the fuck out of here. Taking bad penalties, turning the puck over in the defensive zone? I've seen midget teams play more inspired. Fehr, Bradley, Shultz and Alzner couldn't clog up a toilet if their lives depended on it, never the less clog up a neutral zone. NICE FUCKING LINEUP THERE, TED.
Enough, Ted. Take your blog and shove it up your ass. Take your snarky ass replies to local press who criticize you on your obviously idiotic personnel decisions and put them in your piehole. Ted, ever heard the phrase "If you sit down at a poker table and can't find the sucker, you're the sucker?" Yeah, and if you can't realize that Ernie Grunfeld is not the future of the Wizards, YOU are the Grade-A, bonafide moron, not those who call you on your stupidity. What an uninspired pile of shit you dropped on us for 2011. Tampa, who BARELY, BARELY squeaked by a depleted Pittsburgh team without its two best players somehow looks UNSTOPPABLE because they're playing a soft team like the Caps?
Fuck you, Ted. We're sick and fucking tired of your "be patient" attitude towards McPhee and Bruce. Steve fucking Yzerman is in his first fucking year as GM of the Lightning and they're about to be eight wins away from a Cup. How is it that a franchise in complete and utter disarray one season ago is about to play in the conference semis? Oh that's right, running into a Washington team made for the regular season. But they're doing things the "right" way, folks.
Can't believe I'm about to say this. Fire McPhee, lean towards firing Bruce and hire the first fucking assistant GM available out of Detroit. Obviously Jimmy Devellano has a better eye for future GM talent than you do.
Screw you, Ted. You make me fucking sick. The Crapitals are back, baby!