When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

beets, been meaning to thank you for @_FloridaMan
  freakin comedy gold.
Had me crying the other night
Only in Florida!

[Justin Tonation]

^^Welcome!

This next one could go here or the food or Smackie threads:

This Pizza Hut box turns into a movie projector

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

"Black" NAACP leader outed as Caucasian

[killsaly]

Country Singer Randy Howard Dead After Gunfight With Bounty Hunter
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/country-singer-randy-howard-dead-shot-by-bounty-hunter-report-2015116

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

beets, been meaning to thank you for @_FloridaMan
  freakin comedy gold.
Had me crying the other night
Only in Florida!

just came across @flor1dawoman
man, I couldn't make up funnier lines if I tried


Florida Woman Calls 911 to Complain About Drug Dealer Not Delivering Weed
Police Tase Blood-Soaked, Naked Florida Woman Claiming to be Both God and Satan
Florida Woman Arrested for Driving Drunk While Breastfeeding
Florida Woman Intentionally Poops in Patrol Car Following Arrest   
Florida Woman Seen Shoplifting in ?Won?t Be Caught? T-Shirt
Florida Woman Files Motion to "Fuck This Court and Everything That it Stands For"
Florida Woman Covers Husband in Barbecue Sauce, Threatens to Carve Him Up Like Roast Chicken Florida Woman Breaks Suddenly For Squirrel, One Dead
Florida Woman Kicks Cop in Groin, Offers to Kiss it Better
Florida Woman Texts While Walking, Walks Into Moving Freight Train 
Florida Woman Says She Stripped Naked at Dunkin Donuts as Part of Initiation Into Dance Troupe Florida Woman Grabs Rapper's Dreadlocks, Smashes Him in Face With Tricycle
Florida Woman Leaves 3 y/o Daughter in Liquor Store So She Can Go Help Boyfriend Who Just Accidentally Shot Himself
Traffic Stopped by Naked Florida Woman Climbing on Cars, Masturbating in Middle of Road

[vansmack]

^^Welcome!

This next one could go here or the food or Smackie threads:

This Pizza Hut box turns into a movie projector

I can't imagine the lumens being enough but, sure I'll try that.

[killsaly]

First penis transplant patient's girlfriend is pregnant, doctor says
http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/12/health/penis-transplant-south-africa-pregnancy/index.html

[betao]

Police in Winnipeg accidentally turn on chopper megaphone, blast 'x-rated' conversation to entire city

http://happyplace.someecards.com/police-behaving-bawdily/police-accidentally-turn-on-chopper-megaphone-broadcast-xrated-conversation-to-entire-city/

[vansmack]

Warehouse fined $2.2 million after testing employee DNA to catch a rogue pooper

[Justin Tonation]

Warehouse fined $2.2 million after testing employee DNA to catch a rogue pooper

Ever notice how highlighted comments on The Verge are skid mark colored?

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Canadian Conservative politicians use Nine Inch Nails logo in promotional swag

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Scalia's dissent in gay marriage ruling openly bemoans that landmark 5-4 rulings makes the Supreme Court some sort of de facto ruler over everyone.

I swear, if he was assassinated and I was on the jury for the assassin, there was no way I could find them guilty. He is, literally, the worst American of my lifetime.

[RatBastard]

Scalia's dissent in gay marriage ruling openly bemoans that landmark 5-4 rulings makes the Supreme Court some sort of de facto ruler over everyone.

I swear, if he was assassinated and I was on the jury for the assassin, there was no way I could find them guilty. He is, literally, the worst American of my lifetime.

Wow just wow...

[sweetcell]

Texas Dude Says ?Fuck That Alligator,? Jumps Into River ? Instantly Eaten By Alligator
http://www.barstoolsports.com/barstoolu/texas-dude-says-fuck-that-alligator-jumps-into-river-instantly-eaten-by-alligator/

[grateful]

Cat terrorist terrorizes town

http://gothamist.com/2015/07/07/cat_terrorizing_upstate_town.php