When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Damn!  What a great fucking headline and a great band.name

[grateful]

Destructive onion virus evolving, spreading

Onioncron?

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

shouldn't that have gone in the 'when reality reflects the onion' thread

[sweetcell]

shouldn't that have gone in the 'when reality reflects the onion' thread

? ? ?

[grateful]

shouldn't that have gone in the 'when reality reflects the onion' thread

That's it. That's the joke.

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

shouldn't that have gone in the 'when reality reflects the onion' thread

? ? ?

someone slipped LSD in my coffee this morning, I apologize

[sweetcell]

shouldn't that have gone in the 'when reality reflects the onion' thread

? ? ?

someone slipped LSD in my coffee this morning, I apologize

can i come live with you?  i'm vaxxed and boosted, and i clearly live with people that aren't nearly as fun.

[grateful]

Potato and onion trucks collide near Othello

[Space Freely]

I don't want them to digitile us.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1500902909478903818

[Justin Tonation]

I don't want them to digitile us.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1500902909478903818

Belonging to a group of drugs called cardiac glycosides, digitalis is most commonly used to restore adequate circulation in patients with congestive heart failure, particularly as caused by atherosclerosis or hypertension.

[grateful]

Sunday, March 20
Tossing onions
2 a.m., 3900 block of Breezemont Drive

Property damage: A woman told police that a day after her neighbors threw a party, she had onions on her pool screen. She figured kids were throwing the onions over her fence. On a previous occasion, she spent more than $500 to repair her pool screen, but after it happened multiple times she turned to the police. Officers spoke with the neighbors, who denied responsibility or presence of children. Those who threw the onions were not identified.

[kosmo vinyl]

Russia appears to confuse ‘The Sims’ for SIM cards in possible staged assassination attempt

it's the NYPost but this is the best run down I could find for this story and all the details are bonkers

https://nypost.com/2022/04/25/russia-appears-to-confuse-the-sims-for-sim-cards-in-possible-staged-assassination-attempt/

Russian security services on Monday have been accused of staging a Ukrainian assassination attempt by releasing photos of confiscated copies of “The Sims” video games that some speculate were mistaken by Kremlin officers for SIM cards.


One photo shows a crisp red t-shirt with a swastika on it, inexplicably laid out next to three copies of the video game “The Sims 3.”

[sweetcell]

Russia appears to confuse ‘The Sims’ for SIM cards in possible staged assassination attempt

it's the NYPost but this is the best run down I could find for this story and all the details are bonkers

https://nypost.com/2022/04/25/russia-appears-to-confuse-the-sims-for-sim-cards-in-possible-staged-assassination-attempt/

Russian security services on Monday have been accused of staging a Ukrainian assassination attempt by releasing photos of confiscated copies of “The Sims” video games that some speculate were mistaken by Kremlin officers for SIM cards.

One photo shows a crisp red t-shirt with a swastika on it, inexplicably laid out next to three copies of the video game “The Sims 3.”

this bungled false-flag operation is the archetype for this thread.  it's got everything.  i hope everyone caught the end of the penultimate paragraph: "an inscription in an unidentified book supposedly recovered in the arrest — signed in Russian with the words “signature illegible”" - because someone gave the order to "sign the book with eligible signature!" - so they did.  can those fucking russians do anything right??

[grateful]

Florida Man strikes the chicken:

https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1544074500576256001

[kosmo vinyl]

Chick-fil-A Is Asking for 'Volunteers' to Work for 5 Chicken Sandwiches Per Hour

North Carolina Chick-fil-A so hard up for people to work the lunch rush that it’s asking for volunteers from the community.

hmmm there seems to be a better solution for this...

and this is also in the same district Maddy C. once represented

https://www.vice.com/en/article/qjkbg7/chick-fil-a-is-asking-for-volunteers-to-work-for-5-chicken-sandwiches-per-hour