A Connecticut Dandy in King Gwar's Court

[azaghal1981]

Didn't take me that long. It reads more quickly than the average person.

https://twitter.com/jamie_elizabeth/status/632737935339704320


Wonder if she'll mention the guy in the suit.

She clearly had a proper press pass and wasn't out with me and the other Bohabs.

P.S. Nice review.

Please tell me your voice to text allowed you to hear it in Morgan Freeman's voice. How long did that actually take to orate the entire thing? I figured there was no way you'd actually sit through listening to all that without pictures every few paragraphs haha.

[walk,on,by]

We could dress walky up in chaps and send him to Brad Paisley...

all those, drunk, white, overweight men . . . so there.

[walk,on,by]

We could dress walky up in chaps and send him to Brad Paisley...

Assless chaps, Republican National Convention.

Walkie throws that down and I'll want my title back.

all those, rich, drunk, white, older men . . . so there.

[sweetcell]

jules, this exceeded my expectations - mostly due to the honesty and introspection.  loved the unexpected turn, and your self-assessment of it.  instant hall of fame.

When I came to Harry and my photographer had me sitting up and were pouring water on my head and insisting I needed to lose the suitjacket the rest of the day. Out of pure respect for Hunter S. Thompson's idea of gonzo journalism I said there was absolutely no way I was going to do that and that the purpose of life is not to leave a pretty corpse but to go screeching towards the finish line in breakneck fashion. We had 80 minutes of event left, and I came to review it in a suit. The suit coat was staying on, I would chug water the rest of the day and pour some down my shirt, but I was covering this thing as I had intended.

THIS MAN SUFFERED FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, PEOPLE.  REMEMBER THIS.

[ggw]

You look like you've put up a valiant fight against the male pattern baldness, but it might be time to throw in the towel.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

You look like you've put up a valiant fight against the male pattern baldness, but it might be time to throw in the towel.

Many people think this. I'm losing no hair; this has been my hairline since like age 5. It has always been super, super thin looking especially if product sweats out of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[killsaly]

Excellent article Julian! THis needs to be published somewhere...

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

loved the unexpected turn, and your self-assessment of it. 

I tempted fate when I kept yelling "GIVE ME YOUR CHAMPIONS! I'LL MAKE THEM MY MEAT!" in the Ghoul pit. Jinxed myself.

Excellent article Julian! THis needs to be published somewhere...

Thanks!

[Space Freely]

You look like you've put up a valiant fight against the male pattern baldness, but it might be time to throw in the towel.

Many people think this. I'm losing no hair; this has been my hairline since like age 5. It has always been super, super thin looking especially if product sweats out of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I keep telling myself the exact same thing about my hair.. 

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

You look like you've put up a valiant fight against the male pattern baldness, but it might be time to throw in the towel.

Many people think this. I'm losing no hair; this has been my hairline since like age 5. It has always been super, super thin looking especially if product sweats out of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I keep telling myself the exact same thing about my hair.. 

[vansmack]

Such a wise, wise investment.

I have to admit, I had forgotten all about this, then Shoemaker imploded in the 3rd and I started looking for distractions...found the Instagram Feed and was in hysterics.  The Future Mrs Smackie was horrified that I not only encouraged, but was a lead sponsor, of such tomfoolery. 

(a) I can't believe you didn't wear seersucker. Or cotton a cotton suit at a minimum.  But I do appreciate you suiting up. 
(b) Of all the bands you consciously chose not to see, the Cro-Mags?
(c) Strangely, over a decade ago my ex-wife passed out in the GWAR pit too.
(d) I think the story of the fatty should be shared with just your contributors.

Anyhow, a job well done.  More than exceeded my expectations and please thank your camera man for both doing a wonderful job and for saving your life.  Everybody likes a happy ending.

[kosmo vinyl]

So what episode of Reply All will this be on?

[grateful]

So what episode of Reply All will this be on?

+1 Like

[betao]

Julian,

Bravo man. That was a fantastic read. I'm sorry we couldn't meet - I actually passed by you around 1pm (just long enough to snap a candid photo), but I didn't have time to talk as I was headed to a posted position. I then spent nearly all of the festival behind the barricade for whatever band was playing.

I, for one, say that if you do it again next year, you do the suit again. But that's up to you sir.

I'll post the photo once I get it off my phone.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Julian,

Bravo man. That was a fantastic read. I'm sorry we couldn't meet - I actually passed by you around 1pm (just long enough to snap a candid photo), but I didn't have time to talk as I was headed to a posted position. I then spent nearly all of the festival behind the barricade for whatever band was playing.

I, for one, say that if you do it again next year, you do the suit again. But that's up to you sir.

I'll post the photo once I get it off my phone.

thanks! Man, I hope the photo isn't me picking my nose or with a wedgie or something like that. I came out of this fairly unscathed, so far, aside from GGW's and Rhett's (completely expected) drive-by snarkiness. And, you know, the heat stroke.