Biggest d!ck move in a bar..

[godsshoeshine]

one of the venues in pittsburgh used to have strippers during lunch. it was their last ditch effort to get people to come in during the day

[vansmack]

Forgive me if I've told this story before, but my favorite strip joint story was my brother-in-laws buddy who took my nephew's "Thomas the Train" book with him to the strip joint, asked a girl for a lap dance, and instead of her dancing, he read her the book.
 
 After the akwardness ended and she was less concerned about his mental state, he had her for three songs, to finish the book, paid her $60, and came back to our table.
 
 They ended up chatting the whole night, and he went home with her.  Absolutely brilliant.

[HoyaSaxa03]

i have a pretty good one too ... i was maybe 19 at the time, at mons venus in tampa with some friends (jesus, that place is insane) ... this stripper leans down to my friend, who had longish hair at the time i guess, tells him he looks like jim morrison (he looked nothing like jim morrison), and tells him to meet her outside the club ... he goes home with her to her apartment in tampa, she pays the babysitter and puts her kid to sleep, passionate love making ensues, then she gives him $100 for a cab back to sarasota ... a pretty absurd story for a 19 yr-old

[Bags]

Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
  mons venus in tampa

Man, every straight guy I know who's been to Tampa has been to that place.  Oy.  Though I do think the name is a hoot (speaking of, Clearwater is the home of Hooters you know...)

[eltee]

I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.

[Sir HC]

Taking a course in Portland, OR, and had to go past this strip club every day and they has a 2 for 1 special for Dad's and their highschool aged kids.  I had to get a photo of that, but it didn't come out too well.

[SalParadise]

Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
  mons venus in tampa  

memories...

[SalParadise]

Originally posted by vansmack:
  Forgive me if I've told this story before, but my favorite strip joint story was my brother-in-laws buddy who took my nephew's "Thomas the Train" book with him to the strip joint, asked a girl for a lap dance, and instead of her dancing, he read her the book.
 
 After the akwardness ended and she was less concerned about his mental state, he had her for three songs, to finish the book, paid her $60, and came back to our table.
 
 They ended up chatting the whole night, and he went home with her.  Absolutely brilliant.

nice.

[HoyaSaxa03]

Originally posted by Bags:
  Man, every straight guy I know who's been to Tampa has been to that place.  

it's an institution ... and it get's a shoutout in wyclef's "perfect gentleman" ... best strip club song of all time? "perfect gentleman"?
 
 

Originally posted by Bags:
 Oy.  Though I do think the name is a hoot (speaking of, Clearwater is the home of Hooters you know...)

of course!

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

oops, sorry about that.
 
 

Originally posted by El Sugartastic:
  I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.

[SalParadise]

Originally posted by SalParadise:
   

Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
  mons venus in tampa  

memories... [/b]

ok, my mons venus story just came back to me:
 
 we're there. Amy Lynn (howard stern's favorite porn star according to his book/the ad @ mons venus) is the special guest that night. i've never heard of her, but i get a dance with her anyways. we chat some afterwards... i tell her i live in miami, she says she lives in ft. lauderdale and tells me i should check her out at x strip club (forgot the name)...she winds up giving me her #. she also tries getting me to buy another dance the rest of the night, but i was done.
 
 so we go back to the hotel (we were up there to celebrate my brother's having taken the bar) and i mention to the others that amy lynn gave me her #. they're all "holy shit, man you have to call!" and whatnot.
 
 ffwd a week later... i call the number:
 
 (ring ring...old lady's voice): "hello"
 
 "umm, may i speak with amy?"
 
 "this is amy's mother! she doesn't live here. please don't call here looking for her!"

[vansmack]

Originally posted by SalParadise:
 
 "this is amy's mother! she doesn't live here. please don't call here looking for her!"

Wow.  If only daddy have given Amy a few more hugs while she was growing up....

[eltee]

Originally posted by Etan de Balzac, Footie Ball Player:
  oops, sorry about that.
 
   

Originally posted by El Sugartastic:
  I thought it was crowded at the Black Crowes show...turned out some old drunk fella was pressed up against me with three feet of empty space behind him.

[/b]

The story continues when I turn around, I tripped a little on his foot b/c he was so close. He grabbed my neck (hard I might add) to steady me.
 
 Great. Did you take a dump or a leak that night?

[Herr Professor Doktor Doom]

Originally posted by HoyaParanoia:
  i have a pretty good one too ... i was maybe 19 at the time, at mons venus in tampa with some friends (jesus, that place is insane) ... this stripper leans down to my friend, who had longish hair at the time i guess, tells him he looks like jim morrison (he looked nothing like jim morrison), and tells him to meet her outside the club ... he goes home with her to her apartment in tampa, she pays the babysitter and puts her kid to sleep, passionate love making ensues, then she gives him $100 for a cab back to sarasota ... a pretty absurd story for a 19 yr-old

it's amazing how many doors having long hair can open for you!  As long as you're not 45 or something.

[Frank Gallagher]

Originally posted by duderino:
  if i'm in the bathroom and i see a guy leave without washing his hands, i like to wait until i see the guy talking to a girl and then come up to them and inform the girl that he didn't wash his hands. but that's not really a dick move. cause not washing your hands is gross.

I bet you got beat up a lot in school.
 
 On my very first venture to the USA on the way home from the Falklands, I'm in the bar in Phillips Crab House at the inner harbour in B'more. The ship is moored right in the inner harbour so the bar is full of Royal Navy lads and the local lasses loving it,even the ones with boyfriends/hubbies. Needless to say, the local men are not too happy with the situation.
 
 I'm in the gents having a pee, and it's quite packed so there's a line for the sinks, I put little Mankie away and stood waiting for a sink, but some doodle must've thought I was leaving so says to me, "In America, boys are taught to wash their hands after using the bathroom." My immediate response, "In England, boys are taught not to piss on their hands" gents erupts with laughter as gobbie doodle leaves with head hung low.