Forgive me if I've told this story before, but my favorite strip joint story was my brother-in-laws buddy who took my nephew's "Thomas the Train" book with him to the strip joint, asked a girl for a lap dance, and instead of her dancing, he read her the book.
After the akwardness ended and she was less concerned about his mental state, he had her for three songs, to finish the book, paid her $60, and came back to our table.
They ended up chatting the whole night, and he went home with her. Absolutely brilliant.