930 Forums
=> GENERAL DISCUSSION => Topic started by: WALKonBack on August 15, 2021, 12:19:12 pm
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"How did the hipster burn his mouth? . . . He ate the pizza, before it was cool."
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Did you hear about the lady who accidentally walked backwards into the industrial fan? Disaster.
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How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Pay close attention to which one you see in a while, and which you see later.
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What does the echo call its friend?
Buddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy-uddy
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I went out with this woman the other night and she said she wasn't impressed and asked fora 12 inch sub.
I ran out to Subway and got her a roast beef special. She told me she actually wanted Tyrone, the guy who made it .
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What do you call, a gay ghost?
A homospectral.
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Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism
It's a light, sentence.
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walkie, providing me with the ammo to get multiple eye rolls tonight at the dinner table
danke!
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How was, dinner?
Here's another one for your family entertainment.
Did you hear, about the cow who lost her baby?
Yeah . . . she was decalfinated
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Whats it called when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
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What, happens to a sailboat in a Category 5 hurricane?
Mast Destruction
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I remember Kenny Loggins. But sometimes I struggle to remember Kenny Passwords.
https://twitter.com/mandapen/status/1432129037753896965?s=21
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(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/240582290_403160001146725_5637084769802567845_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=uNBAKNhoDWAAX_NdLHa&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&oh=5d5e12e04cfe3dcdfc31e89eefebb9e7&oe=61561D9A)
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FUN FACT!
Paul McCartney wrote a book in the 60s about Indian yoghurt based dips.
Paperback raita.
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1434765435036184578
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(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E-ZBZEXX0AE_bQX.jpg)
https://twitter.com/desdelboy/status/1433905434851741696?s=21
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Do you know why, the old man fell down the well?
He couldn't see, that well.
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Elton John wanted to send his friends an invite to his house for a fancy evening party but couldn't find the right phrase...
Soiree seems to be the hardest word.
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1438441585935532033
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Saw some deer last night at the basketball half-court in the park. They were playing Horse.
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Best news of the week - guarantee that the WFT won't lose on Sunday.
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https://www.instagram.com/p/CT8ylWRMUYT/
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What did the boy say when he saw the cemetery covered in snow?
Icy dead people.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CVGS7hIpfdl/
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I own a pencil that was once used by William Shakespeare but he chewed it a lot, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B...
https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1452162306603900932
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What is faster . . . hot or cold?
Faster. You can always catch, a cold.
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Is what is faster . . . hot or cold?
Faster. You can always catch, a cold.
That's hot
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(https://i.ibb.co/86pFmpS/Screen-Shot-2021-11-19-at-8-00-30-PM.png)
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RECOGNIZE:
(https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/959595-61c49092662bc__700.jpg)
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What did Oda Mae Brown, say to Mary on December 24th?
Molly . . . you in manger, gurl.
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Why did the man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
Well, if he's going to be impotent, he might as well look impotent.
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We started a band and called ourselves Books
So no one can judge us by our covers
@dadsaysjokes
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(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F-WYUqRXoAAwLjd?format=jpg&name=large)
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(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F-WYUqRXoAAwLjd?format=jpg&name=large)
^ INCORRECT
YYYY/MM/DD is the ONLY acceptable format. on this i will not budge, however i'm willing to negotiate on the slashes.
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(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E3O2LnjXIAAaoa_.jpg:large)
I recently disposed of 20 so of these! (at an e-waste event of course)
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Who do you call, when you need someone to lend a hand?
Jack Hoff
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what is the leading cause of dry skin?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
towels
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What do you call it when someone who isn't a dad tells dad jokes?
A faux pa.
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Ok this one made me laugh…
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDZXbJGorfa/?igsh=aHo1NDdiZTZjanp3
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*golf clap*
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Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman
https://www.instagram.com/p/DDtYQhJOlGT/?igsh=MThibjRqd2t4OGRuMg==
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Yes and at their age, Gary Oldman is looking like Gary, old man.
And whatever Gary Numan has done to his balding pate and his face really did make him look like a new man.
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My friend tells me he writes songs about sewing machines.
He’s a Singer Songwriter, or sew it seams.
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A+,+
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The fact that many people can't distinguish between entomology and etymology bugs me in ways I can't put into words.
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Just heard this one, and it's a banger.
What's Moby Dick's dad name?
Poppa Boner
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for hutch:
I’m addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
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Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania commuters’ wurst nightmare (https://wtop.com/trending-now/2025/08/hot-dog-spill-shuts-down-highway-in-pennsylvania-commuters-wurst-nightmare/)
SHREWSBURY, Pa. (AP) — A truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the heavily traveled artery in both directions.
Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish — rolling up the scattered tube steaks for disposal.