There are a few small clubs in Jersey that seem to get a few shows (names escape me). Also a friend mentioned a particular neighborhood the community has cleaned up and it's full of art and music.
Don't forget Tweeter center for the large shows. You'll be fine. Where have you been checking for shows since you've been here? I think you are more connected than you think...Just now, you have to look for different cities with DC being secondary. Consider yourself lucky you are still on the east coast with a variety of venues, which makes show hopping easier.
If you're up for the drive or take the train, you can explore beyond NYC / Philly. Would shows in in Jersey (Atlantic City), State College (PA) or Manayunk (PA) be too out of reach?