More Excerpts From Smashing Pumpkins Messageboards

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

I know Sonick is needing his fix of chatter about his favorite band, so I thought I'd post this kid's show, um, "review."
 
   

Wow I had a great time. Me and my friend walked around the parking lots for 90 minutes or so, met lots of people and got a good buzz going. I liked hearing every other car stereo playing a different pumpkins song; some guys were playing Suffer really loud haha. Anyway we go in and look for the best possible two-person opening, and go in the middle of the 6th row after the Bravery had been on for 20 minutes or so. Unbeknownst to me some fat, blonde bitch who was sitting next to us had been kicking my girl in the ankle until the Bravery ended; she said something like 'jeez I WISH I could have seen the bravery play,' and we moved to a better spot on our left a few feet over. This blonde bitch was going to get it. She clearly didn't give a shit about SP, came with some other friends just to go to any concert- it could've been fall out boy or some shit.
 
 During SP's first 6 songs, she didn't give a hint of admiration or appreciation for the band at all, her eyes were glued to her phone and she was texting the whole time. After Drown I yelled so she could hear me "STOP TEXTING YOU DUMB BITCH! YOU ARE SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL!" I was going all out for my first SP show- I sang every lyric to every song, louder than anyone else around me, jumping up and down until I'm sore at the end of the night and my voice is very hoarse. Then the polar opposite of me is this bitch just a few people over who has nothing in common with me, obviously didn't want to at this amazing show, and was kicking my girl. So what did I do? I peed in an empty beer cup, all the way full, and after Cherub Rock and Billy's exit, I dumped it all over her on our way out. Yes, I peed on this bitch and she deserved it, don't tell me you would have done differently.

[Firebutt McGee]

Originally posted by Julian, good manners AFICIONADO:
 I peed in an empty beer cup, all the way full, and after Cherub Rock and Billy's exit, I dumped it all over her on our way out. Yes, I peed on this bitch and she deserved it, don't tell me you would have done differently.

WOW.
 
 There would've been another Smashing Pumpkins related injury, had some little shit thrown his piss on me.
 
 Still though, wow.

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

um...that's pretty messed up that you dumped piss on her, dude.  that's WAY messed up.  by your reasoning, you were justified to piss on someone when you got angry.  people would be getting pissed on all the time whenever others got angry.  i would have pissed on the idiots in the line the other day in Utah.  but instead i just complain about it.  no pissin' here.  that is one thing the bastards should be thankful for.  be thankful i didn't piss on you.

[Frank Gallagher]

That's typical of the youth of today - they all need to spend 2 years in the army or something.
 
 I bet if you beat someone half to death for throwing piss on you, you'd probably get off lightly.

[Samantha]

I wonder how he got the idea.
 
 "I am angry, therefore I shall pee on you."

[bnyced0]

There are retarded phucks in every fan base, some more than others....

[Firebutt McGee]

Originally posted by bnyced0:
  There are retarded phucks in every fan base, some more than others....

Oh, but you have NO idea.
 
 I hate to hijack the thread, but everyone should meet Shannon Kringen...the scariest Tori Amos fan that I know of.
 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7uGp-3-1n4
 
 There are NO words.
 
 *NSFW!*
 http://www.shannonkringen.com/bathsample.mpg

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Originally posted by ixkpd-bk:
 
 *NSFW!*
  http://www.shannonkringen.com/bathsample.mpg

Well... I'm asexual now. Thanks!

[xneverwherex]

oh my god! im horrified!

[Brian_Wallace]

Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
  That's typical of the youth of today - they all need to spend 2 years in the army or something.
 
 I bet if you beat someone half to death for throwing piss on you, you'd probably get off lightly.

I agree, Mr. Mankie.  
 
 However, you have to wonder whether BEFORE he relieved himself in the cup he:
 
 "Pee - flush with foot - pull down paper towel ready to dry hands with - turn on water - wash hands - dry hands - with towel turn off water - with towel open bathroom door - toss paper towel into bin - push bathroom door open with foot to get out."?
 
 Brian

[Brian_Wallace]

Originally posted by ixkpd-bk:
  Oh, but you have NO idea.
 
 I hate to hijack the thread, but everyone should meet Shannon Kringen...the scariest Tori Amos fan that I know of.

I'm not into "profiling" per se, but when I'm king I'm just going to throw every Tori Amos fan in jail and throw away the key.  Unless that is done, every single one will cause unspeakable grief to someone at some time.
 
 Facts about Tori Amos fans:
 
 1.)  They ALL are BATSHIT crazy.
 2.)  They ALL wear those stupid thick-rimmed/librarian glasses.
 3.)  They are ALL incredibly lousy in the sack but THINK they are the greatest lover in the world.
 4.)  They ALL travel a LOT but never have enough money to pay their rent and/or buy food.
 5.)  They ALL are manic/depressive/lazy.
 6.)  They ALL believe in fairies (natch.)
 7.)  They ALL have that long, half-assed, brown, curly, "earth goddess" hair that, considering how "in touch" they are with Mother Earth, has WAY too much product in it.
 8.)  They ALL exhibit that maddening combination of being WAY too serious but also WAY too naive.
 
 Brian
 
 P.S.  Me and a buddy used to call her Torn Anus.  Sure, it's juvenille and insensitive considering some of Ms. Amos' life experiences, but at that point I hadn't really met any Tori Amos devotees.  Now, I call her that and don't feel bad at all.
 
 P.P.S.  You know that website that's "Guys who look like Kenny Rogers?"  They should have a website, "Girls who love Tori Amos."
 
 P.P.P.S.  Did you notice that in that YouTube clip she says she will be visiting some "naturist" resorts.  I just learned a couple of years ago that "naturist" = "nudist" so....guys...just think of that the next time you can't drift off to sleep.

[Samantha]

actually I know some quite wonderful Tori Amos fans.  they might just be exceptions, though.  You could just be 99% right.

[Frank Gallagher]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
 

3.)  They are ALL incredibly lousy in the sack but THINK they are the greatest lover in the world.
 . [/b]

...and you would know this how???
 
 
 Mankie

[walkonby]

maybe they are that way from having problems getting tickets to shows.

[vansmack]

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
  Facts about Tori Amos fans:
 
 
 

I normally am not the slighest bit entertained by your posts, but I found this HUGELY entertaining.  While yes, there are gross over-generalizations here, it's the 1% of truth in every joke that makes them funny.