- "GET IN THE HOLE!!!"
- "What happens in/on [blank] stays in/on [blank]" (exception: "on the road")
- when someone pesters a kid being paid $6.50/hr w/o benefits because he/she thinks the kid is responsible for the store being out of the advertised precious trinket for which he/she drove two hours
- pickles on burgers (you can't just take them off, they leave pickle germs)
- when someone hogs the ATM
- when one of my contacts slips
- "indie" applied to everything but
- when someone asserts his/her individuality by getting a tattoo or piercing
- when I want some Chick-fil-A and then I realize fuck, it's Sunday
- when someone sets his/her car alarm at 7-Eleven
- car alarms that respond with a honk when set, even at 1am, when I'm trying to get to sleep
- OK, car alarms in general; useless pieces of shit; no one responds; no one remembers "The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'"
- when someone types "noone" when he/she means "no one"
- "double-wide" baby carriages for twins
- commercials at the movie theatre
- tailgaters, especially when they think they're saving significant time (if you follow someone by 1 second instead of 2, you save all of 1 second no matter how many miles you drive; 1 mile, 100 miles, 1,000,000,000 miles, it doesn't matter how far, you save one measly second)
- cops who drive worse than the general population
- broken slurpee machines (no, wait, that's the Lame List)