Things Smackie Thinks You Need to Know...

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

I just now, this second, realized your signature is stating Trout is better than Harper, not that your life was better at 27 than it was at 34, which I, for some reason, assumed was the age at which you got divorced. Whoops.

[vansmack]

I just now, this second, realized your signature is stating Trout is better than Harper, not that your life was better at 27 than it was at 34, which I, for some reason, assumed was the age at which you got divorced. Whoops.

Funny. I don't know whether I should be amazed at that or disappointed.  I guess because we've never met, you wouldn't know how little my divorce affected me.  Other than the check I amazingly had to write her at the end, it was a non factor.  I'm happier in life right now than I've ever been.  40>x

But yes, 27>34 is a constant reminder of what I consider one of my greatest calls of all time - that Mike Trout would be better than Bryce Harper, and that it wouldn't be close.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

I don't know whether I should be amazed at that or disappointed. 

Well, I mean, just that I cared enough to create a fanciful narrative about you...

[vansmack]

Well, I mean, just that I cared enough to create a fanciful narrative about you... [/i]

That is exactly what the anonymity of a message board is all about.

I've never been so heart broken as when I found out that jadetree wasn't a woman.

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

I've never been so heart broken as when I found out that jadetree wasn't a woman.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered xneverwherex WAS a woman.

FWIW, I also assumed jadetree was a woman until you just said otherwise.

[vansmack]

I  think he assumed they couldn't hear his horn

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Thoughts on the new Hilary Duff single? I give it a solid 7.

[vansmack]

Thoughts on the new Hilary Duff single? I give it a solid 7.

It's an 8.5 with the video, but I give the single a 6.5 as merely a catchy summer of 2014 attempt at Taylor Swift's success that came out about 6 weeks too late...   

[shemptiness]

http://deadspin.com/heres-how-to-sneak-into-candlestick-park-1614662696

you?

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

I don't know Mr.Vansmack, but he strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't even own a suit

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

I don't know Mr.Vansmack, but he strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't even own a suit

uhhhhh...

[vansmack]

you?

I don't have to sneak into Candlestick, the GM is a good friend of mine.  However, I have used the suit and tie to get many places where I shouldn't have been.

FB friends will have seen my photo from the top of the new 49ers stadium in a suit....

[vansmack]

I don't know Mr.Vansmack, but he strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't even own a suit

Wow.  I wear a suit six days a week.

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

see I told you I didn't know mr VSMK...so then maybe it was him

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

see I told you I didn't know mr VSMK...so then maybe it was him

Sort of imagine Neil Patrick Harris' character from How I Met Your Mother, and add in a belief that they're both qualified to write for the Economist and run a major league baseball team and you pretty much have my vision of the Smackie persona I have culled together over the years. (Although I have never met the man.)