The difference between liberals, conservatives, and sout

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
 
 Pose the following situation:
 
 You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
 
 Now what do you do?
 
 
 The Liberal Answer:
 
 Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
 
 Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
 
 Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
 
 Should I call 9-1-1?
 
 Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
 
 This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
 
 
 The Conservative Answer:
 
 BANG!
 
 
 The Southerner's Answer:
 
 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
 
 Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving! Hey kids, whadda y'all think?"
 
 Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
 
 click, click ...(sounds of reloading).
 
 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
 
 Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

[Sir HC]

Anyone who thinks that a liberal WHO CARRIES A FRIGGIN GUN AND IS AN EXPERT SHOT would act that way is just stupid.  It is a hypothetical like, what if you were in the lead of the Daytona 500 and on the last lap both your arms fell off, would you stop or drive with your teeth to win?

[mankie]

Originally posted by Sir HC:
  Anyone who thinks that a liberal WHO CARRIES A FRIGGIN GUN AND IS AN EXPERT SHOT would act that way is just stupid.  It is a hypothetical like, what if you were in the lead of the Daytona 500 and on the last lap both your arms fell off, would you stop or drive with your teeth to win?

Who shot your arms off...the conservative or southerner?

[Liberte]

Originally posted by Sir HC:
  Anyone who thinks that a liberal WHO CARRIES A FRIGGIN GUN AND IS AN EXPERT SHOT would act that way is just stupid.  It is a hypothetical like, what if you were in the lead of the Daytona 500 and on the last lap both your arms fell off, would you stop or drive with your teeth to win?

Okay, I give up.  What are the punch lines for the Liberal, the Conservative, and the Southerner in the driver's seat?

[godsshoeshine]

liberal: rely on socialized medicine to save you
 conservative: bomb the other drivers
 southerner: nuke the other drivers

[mankie]

I'm trying to see where Rhett fits in...conclusion, a bit of a mixture really.
 
 Rhett - Ask wife what he should do, spit in face, BANG BANG BANG. Seek wifes approval.

[Liberte]

PS:  Even the candy-ass Model 27 Glock .40 is sold in Southern states with a 10-round magazine.  A real Bubba would carry the 17-shot Model 24.  So you need 1 to 8 more BANGs in there.

[mankie]

Originally posted by god's shoeshine:
  liberal: rely on socialized medicine to save you
 

For fear of starting a whole discussion I don't have the energy or interest to get involved in...but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

[Liberte]

Originally posted by god's shoeshine:
  liberal: rely on socialized medicine to save you
 conservative: bomb the other drivers
 southerner: nuke the other drivers

Got'em.  Thanks!  

[Liberte]

Originally posted by mankie:
  For fear of starting a whole discussion I don't have the energy or interest to get involved in...but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

Yeah!  And what is so funny about peace, love, and understanding?

[ratioci nation]

Originally posted by mankie:
  but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

the most common complaint I have heard about it is the length of the wait for treatment, but I support socialized medicine, privatized medicine is only better for those who can afford it in my experience, but I don't care to get in a long debate about it either

Originally posted by Sir HC:
 a liberal WHO CARRIES A FRIGGIN GUN AND IS AN EXPERT SHOT ?

Originally posted by Liberte:
  PS:  Even the candy-ass Model 27 Glock .40 is sold in Southern states with a 10-round magazine.  A real Bubba would carry the 17-shot Model 24.  So you need 1 to 8 more BANGs in there.

You decide...

[Sir HC]

Originally posted by pollard:
   

Originally posted by mankie:
  but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

the most common complaint I have heard about it is the length of the wait for treatment, but I support socialized medicine, privatized medicine is only better for those who can afford it in my experience, but I don't care to get in a long debate about it either [/b]

My boss's wife is a doctor who has to deal with HMOs on a regular basis.  You might notice in the US that doctors won't often be able to see you twice in the same month, and that is because they often will only get paid for one visit a month from the HMOs.  So the same thing does happen here (or you find a nice doctor willing to have the second visit free).

[mankie]

Originally posted by pollard:
   

Originally posted by mankie:
  but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

the most common complaint I have heard about it is the length of the wait for treatment, but I support socialized medicine, privatized medicine is only better for those who can afford it in my experience, but I don't care to get in a long debate about it either [/b]

It's a much longer wait if you don't have health insurance.
 
 That's it..subject over, till GGW comes up with some words of wisdom supporting privatized medicine.

[Bags]

HMOs are not socialized medicine, so it's comparing apples and oranges.  They're this middle ground, and that never works.  It's one type of program in a fully privatized industry.  Ditto, I'm not going to get in to a whole discussion, but when I thought I had broken a bone in my foot in Sydney, it was handled so quickly and easily, even for me, a non-resident.  And it cost me $40.
 
   

Originally posted by Sir HC:
   

Originally posted by pollard:
     

Originally posted by mankie:
  but what's so bad about socialized medicine?

[/b]

My boss's wife is a doctor who has to deal with HMOs on a regular basis.  You might notice in the US that doctors won't often be able to see you twice in the same month, and that is because they often will only get paid for one visit a month from the HMOs.  So the same thing does happen here (or you find a nice doctor willing to have the second visit free). [/b]