You live in California when ...
You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. The
high
school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone. The
fastest
part of your commute is going down your driveway. You know how to eat
an
artichoke.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
You live in New York when....
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. You
have
never been to the Statue of Liberty.
You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get to Columbus Circle
from
Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on the map. You think Central
Park
is "nature".
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes
you multilingual.
You've worn out a car horn.
You think eye contact is a sign of aggression.
You live in Alaska when...
You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
Halloween
costumes fit over parkas.
You have more than one recipe for moose.
Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. The
four
seasons are winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You live in the Deep South when...
You get a movie, a cup of coffee and bait in the same store. After 15
years
you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?" "He needed
killin" is
a valid defense.
Everyone has 2 first names.
You live in Colorado when...
You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. You tell your
husband to pick up Granola on the way home, and he stops at the Day
Care
Center.
A pass does not involve a football or dating.
The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
You live in the Midwest when...
You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. Your
idea
of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor. You have had to
switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. When asked how your trip
was
to any exotic place, you say, "it was different!"
You live in Florida when...
You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
Road
construction never ends anywhere in the state.
Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people. You don't
know
how to vote.
