Beauty's in the ear of the beholder The list of Grammy finalists seems absurd
Adam Radwanski, National Post
Published: Friday, December 09, 2005
With the host for the 2006 Grammy Awards yet to be announced, we can still hold out hope that it will be Chris Rock.
Unlikely though his appointment may be, no show needs Rock more than the music industry's night of self-congratulation -- not so much for his stand-up skills, but for a repeat of last year's pre-Oscars rant in which the first-time host pronounced that "awards for art are f---ing idiotic."
If Rock thinks trying to choose between apples-and-oranges flicks like Million Dollar Baby and Sideways is dumb, he should have a look at yesterday's Grammy nominations. Take the Album of the Year category. The geriatrics and industry weasels who make up the Recording Academy won't be choosing the best of five comparable discs; instead, they'll more or less be asked to choose their favourite genre. There's mainstream rock (U2's How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb), adult-oriented pop (Paul McCartney's Chaos and Creation in the Backyard), rap (Kanye West's Late Registration), R&B (Mariah Carey's The Emancipation of Mimi) and whatever exactly it is that one calls Gwen Stefani's dance-rock hybrid (Love.Angel.Music.Baby). If he doesn't win, Kanye will no doubt go into a post-awards snit to beat the one he threw two years ago. But if besting McCartney is how he measures his hip-hop credentials, he's got less cred than Tom Green.
If the list of finalists seems absurd, consider that the entire creative output of thousands upon thousands of musicians has somehow been boiled down to these five in the first place. The Oscars, at least, are a little more clearly defined -- since the Best Picture category is mostly limited to serious Hollywood dramas, only a couple dozen films per year could reasonably be expected to have any chance. But virtually every album release is meant to be taken seriously. There aren't many musical versions of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo -- low-brow efforts that even their makers don't mistake for serious art. If there are, you'd think Love.Angel.Music.Baby would qualify -- and it somehow got nominated.
As always, music critics will dismiss this year's nominations as hopelessly uncool. And considering that Mariah Carey has come out the big winner with eight nods, that's pretty tough to argue. But the Grammys would be no less ridiculous if critics were the ones who chose them; in fact, they might be even more so.
According to Metacritic, the popular Web site that tracks critics' response to new releases, the five best-reviewed albums of 2005 have been Sufjan Stevens' Illinois, My Morning Jacket's Z, Isolee's Wearemonster, Antony and the Johnsons' I Am a Bird Now, and Lightning Bolt's Hypermagic Mountain.
These are all delightful releases, made by people who've resolutely stayed clear of the industry's commercial clutches and are swimming in artistic integrity. They also collectively represent the tastes of perhaps 1% of the music-buying North American public, tops. If they had been announced yesterday as the contenders for Album of the Year, the Grammys would have gone from too broad to being so narrow that virtually every genre would have been disqualified.
No matter what the category or voting method, metings out awards for merit in music -- as subjective as any art form gets -- is an offensive proposition. From the Grammys to the Junos to smaller ceremonies like Canada's recently dispensed new-rock CASBYs, award shows fail to recognize that the beauty of music in the ears of the beholder. There is one show, however, that is a notable exception. Earlier this week, Green Day and 50 Cent dominated the Billboard Music Awards -- a ceremony that focuses its attention solely on commercial success.
The Billboard Awards celebrate the very thing most musicians, critics and hard-core fans hate about the industry. But give them this much: We know where they're coming from, and there are no pretenses of being a higher authority on quality. They may be soulless, but at least they're not f---ing idiotic.
