Quite possibly the one of the greatest review ever written
http://usa.djmag.com/content/tiesto-wasted-opportunityTiësto
A Town Called Paradise
PM: AM Recordings
1.0
Just shit
One of the difficult things about reviewing a Tiësto album ? apart from actually listening to it ? is that there are only so many ways to describe rubbish. However, on the Dutchman?s fifth album he?s made it slightly easier by delivering 14 identical piles of crap: lumpen trance that stomps on your will to live like candy ravers in furry boots, and breakdowns that feel like jumping off a cliff. Which it might seriously drive you to do. Then there are the singers bellowing ?empowering? lyrics Gwyneth Paltrow would consider trite. Speaking of whom, this is all so awful it makes Coldplay?s collaboration with Avicii sound inspired. Produced with apparent contempt for anyone?s ears or intelligence, it?s lowest common denominator bullshit of the most cynical kind. But the most galling thing is that like some evil alchemist Tiësto will somehow turn this trash into millions of dollars. Paul Clarke
What's so great about this review is how it can be used as a template for other records...
Arcade Fire
Reflektor
1.0
Just shit
One of the difficult things about reviewing an Arcade Fire album ? apart from actually listening to it ? is that there are only so many ways to describe rubbish. However, on the Canadians fourth album they've made it slightly easier by delivering 13 identical piles of crap: lumpen indie rock that stomps on your will to live like Juggalos in a mosh pit, and percussion playing that sounds like lemmings diving off a cliff. Which it might seriously drive you to do. Then there are the singers bellowing ?empowering? lyrics Gwyneth Paltrow would consider trite. Speaking of whom, this is all so awful it makes The Doors?s collaboration with Skrillex sound inspired. Produced with apparent contempt for anyone?s ears or intelligence, it?s lowest common denominator bullshit of the most cynical kind. But the most galling thing is that like some evil alchemist Arcade Fire will somehow turn this trash into millions of dollars.