Animal Collective / Geologist on Life in Capitol Hill

[HoyaSaxa03]

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2011/08/son-buzzband.html

Cover your ears, son
For they are not ready 4 the vibes emitted
from the purest of the buzzbands
Stand back, watch the buzzband
Look at how buzzworthy they look

This,
my son
is a buzzband.
This is a buzzband.

Feel
FEEL the vibes of buzz come ur way
let them soak into your skin, beautiful son
Let them sink deep into your soul

This, son, is a buzzband.
This is what a buzzband sounds like, son.
This is what a buzzband looks like, son.
This is what the buzz feels like, son.

I worked hard to ascend into relevancy
Ensuring that my son was born into the VIP area
VIP bloodline
But I still want him to value VIP
as a privilege, not a right

Oh the VIP areas you'll go!

I have high hopes for you
One day, you will be the artist making the buzz
My relevancy outdated, I will celebrate the dead buzzbands of yesteryear
But you carry on our family legacy, son

I will look at you fresh, young, 20something face
and think of my 20sometimes
and wish eternal 20somethinghood upon you
Reading content on the internet, empathizing with an eternal global 20something zeitgeistian spirit

We do not have time for youth sports
You will take piano lessons
Guitar lessons
Ableton lessons
SP-404 lessons

You are the Good Son
The Chosen Son
The Buzz Son

Cool Dads, be good to your lil alts
Lil Alts will love like you do
AltQTs become altbaguettes who turn into alt celeb QTs
So free-spirited moms, be good to your AltQTs too

Son, you shall remember this day
When you saw, heard, felt, smelt, vibed ur first buzzband
The buzzosphere is ur oyster
Carpe buzz.

Don't go gently into that irrelevant content stream
Rage, rage against the dying of the buzz

******
How old were u when u heard ur first buzzband?
Will u become a cool dad who takes his son to relevant buzz shows?
Will u favor ur buzz son over ur buzz daughter if ur daughter is not altQT enough?
R u worried that ur alt kid will be born into VIP status instead of earning it like our generation?

[nkotb]

You're 97% of the way there, pal.

I don't know what "squeezers" are but my dong is out and I'm eagerly awaiting your reply.

[nkotb]

It's not so much the "cost of living" I'm talking about...it's the ridiculous fact that sending a kid to a daycare, where he/she is only getting a shared amount of attention, is just about the same as having personalized, in-home care for your kids.  That's crazy.  I love the daycare my son goes to; they have little field trips, he learns, there's activities, etc...but it's the same cost to send both kids as if we had someone staying at our house all day to care for him and our daughter exclusively.

cost of living get so high.. na na na na..oh what a tribulation

[Yada]

Two things:

1. More vasectomies sound like they're needed in this thread
2. Are these nannies hot?

[Jaguar]

Whatever happened to one parent staying home and raising their young?

Yeah, I fully get that most couples can't afford to do that anymore and all that other stuff they are opting for. It just bothers me that way too many households are so quick to pawn off raising their children to others. Of course, having taught, I've too often seen how horrible that can be. Full of bad environments, illnesses, indoctrination agendas, over-crowding, etc.. Then again, I was in the ghetto. I would seriously hope and assume that those $20,000ers are much, much better.

Ideally, I like the set-up that Rhett and Celeste have. A very nice balance for the entire family.

[Yada]

Whatever happened to one parent staying home and raising their young?

Yeah, I fully get that most couples can't afford to do that anymore and all that other stuff they are opting for. It just bothers me that way too many households are so quick to pawn off raising their children to others. Of course, having taught, I've too often seen how horrible that can be. Full of bad environments, illnesses, indoctrination agendas, over-crowding, etc.. Then again, I was in the ghetto. I would seriously hope and assume that those $20,000ers are much, much better.

Ideally, I like the set-up that Rhett and Celeste have. A very nice balance for the entire family.

This f'n city is too damn expensive to be a stay at home person.

[Relaxer]

2. Are these nannies hot?

This is a very important question and it strikes at the heart of advice I give everyone about nannies, based on observations I've made over the years.

Do not get a hot nanny! Get a pleasantly plump middle-aged woman who is married and has raised her own kids.

The last thing you want is any temptation in the house. You don't want to be in a position where you would even be tempted to cheat or even look longingly. You also don't want a comical situation where the hot nanny comes upstairs at the exact, purely coincidental moment your bathtowel accidentally falls off and you're standing there all donged out and your wife just walked in the door early from work. If your nanny is a 52-year-old chubster, it's a humorous anecdote you share with friends and family. If your nanny is hot, you maybe get to see your kids every other weekend.

Also, it is surprisingly common for younger nannies to develop crushes on the dads. The last thing you want is your young hot nanny thinking about how she can "evolve" from her role in the family.

Also, young hot nannies usually have boyfriends and are constantly texting them or calling them or thinking about them. Even if you lay down the law and say, NO CELLPHONE USE, they will be on their cellphones when you're not around. 58-year-old nannies are much less likely to be attached to their phones and while they can very well have husbands or boyfriends, they're beyond the whole "OMG! he so cute!" stage

As to Jaguar's legitimate question, the fact is some people really enjoy their jobs and are fulfilled by them.

[James Ford]

That's one of the reasons my wife chose to stay home with our child until she gets to first grade.

The other reason being...why the fuck would you even have children if all you're going to do is stick them in daycare for ten hours a day five days a week once they turn three or six months old???

Edit: Ooops, sorry didn't read Jag's comment before I commented. Though I stand by my comment. If you really care about your kid(s), take at least the first few (most formative) years of their lives and raise them yourself. That's more important than any job. you can always go back to your job later.

We had a nannny for 2+ years and her regular pay, plus one or two evening babysitting gigs, was usually between $2,500 and $3k a month. I was so happy when the kids hit school age.

[Jaguar]

@Relaxer - All excellent advice. That 'and other stuff' I noted was what I meant. Believe me, I get it. Sometimes I just think some couples convince themselves of that more because of modern social mores than they should nowadays. Mind you, I'm a firm believer in strong family units and support homeschooling in many cases. Comes from seeing way too many families destroyed as well as the horrendous dumbing down and destruction of way too many of our schools. Just my 2 cents.

I'm fully with you, Rhett/James.

Btw, I sense there is a real life story behind that towel incident. We all want to know!!! 

[James Ford]

That's why we moved to the suburbs. Many of the people we know have a stay at home parent. Including one couple with two kids where the dad is the stay at home.

I should also say that I'm blessed with a wife talented enough to contract her services and work from home and make 40-50% of the money she was making when she went to a full time job. All while caring for a small child at home.

Otherwise money would be very, very tight.

Whatever happened to one parent staying home and raising their young?

Yeah, I fully get that most couples can't afford to do that anymore and all that other stuff they are opting for. It just bothers me that way too many households are so quick to pawn off raising their children to others. Of course, having taught, I've too often seen how horrible that can be. Full of bad environments, illnesses, indoctrination agendas, over-crowding, etc.. Then again, I was in the ghetto. I would seriously hope and assume that those $20,000ers are much, much better.

Ideally, I like the set-up that Rhett and Celeste have. A very nice balance for the entire family.

This f'n city is too damn expensive to be a stay at home person.

[nkotb]

Have you ever been around kids?  They're fucking assholes man!

The other reason being...why the fuck would you even have children if all you're going to do is stick them in daycare for ten hours a day five days a week once they turn three or six months old???

[chaz]

2. Are these nannies hot?

This is a very important question and it strikes at the heart of advice I give everyone about nannies, based on observations I've made over the years.

Do not get a hot nanny! Get a pleasantly plump middle-aged woman who is married and has raised her own kids.

The last thing you want is any temptation in the house. You don't want to be in a position where you would even be tempted to cheat or even look longingly. You also don't want a comical situation where the hot nanny comes upstairs at the exact, purely coincidental moment your bathtowel accidentally falls off and you're standing there all donged out and your wife just walked in the door early from work. If your nanny is a 52-year-old chubster, it's a humorous anecdote you share with friends and family. If your nanny is hot, you maybe get to see your kids every other weekend.

Also, it is surprisingly common for younger nannies to develop crushes on the dads. The last thing you want is your young hot nanny thinking about how she can "evolve" from her role in the family.

Also, young hot nannies usually have boyfriends and are constantly texting them or calling them or thinking about them. Even if you lay down the law and say, NO CELLPHONE USE, they will be on their cellphones when you're not around. 58-year-old nannies are much less likely to be attached to their phones and while they can very well have husbands or boyfriends, they're beyond the whole "OMG! he so cute!" stage

As to Jaguar's legitimate question, the fact is some people really enjoy their jobs and are fulfilled by them.

Our live in helper is a lesbian.  Crisis averted.

[James Ford]

I used to be a teacher. You're right. Most kids are assholes. But my public school kindergartner isn't.
 
If you see her at VFest, ask her to sing a Dr. Dog or Bob Marley song for you.

Have you ever been around kids?  They're fucking assholes man!

The other reason being...why the fuck would you even have children if all you're going to do is stick them in daycare for ten hours a day five days a week once they turn three or six months old???

[chaz]

Reminds me of one of my favorite Onion pieces ever.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-study-reveals-most-children-unrepentant-sociop,2870/

Have you ever been around kids?  They're fucking assholes man!

The other reason being...why the fuck would you even have children if all you're going to do is stick them in daycare for ten hours a day five days a week once they turn three or six months old???

[nkotb]

I kid, obviously.  My wife wanted to keep working as it's part of her identity as well as being a mom (not to say stay at home moms are ONLY moms, so calm down people...), and her job allows her a pretty flexible schedule so our son is only at school between 4 and 6 hours a day tops.  Plus, like I said, his school is a bit more of a teaching daycare, so its not just sticking him with someone for hours on end with no purpose.

But she's SO into being a mom now that she's considering staying at home.  Makes me a little nervous, money wise, but holy shit, I cant' even stress how much money that would save us.

I used to be a teacher. You're right. Most kids are assholes. But my public school kindergartner isn't.
 
If you see her at VFest, ask her to sing a Dr. Dog or Bob Marley song for you.

Have you ever been around kids?  They're fucking assholes man!

The other reason being...why the fuck would you even have children if all you're going to do is stick them in daycare for ten hours a day five days a week once they turn three or six months old???