So Walkonby is being so rude about my thread dying, plus Space asked if any of my efforts have panned out, so here's an update.
As reported previously, Tinder was a mini-disaster when my entire family was signed up along with me, so I cancelled that account. However, I took with it several matches I'd made. J is a mailwoman from Annapolis with fake boobs and lives with her parents, and normally I would've been turned off by everything except the mailwoman part but we had great witty text banter, and she was very aggressive/forward about us meeting, so what the hell. And we had a nice couple weeks of dating, but whereas it was lots of fun to be going back and forth with insults and put-downs via text, it got tiresome when our conversation consisted only of that. Plus, Annapolis. So that one faded.
This was followed by S, a Japanese anime cartoon person who defies all normal semblances to Actual Human Beings. She is like the weirdest JPOP song come to life. She dresses like Pippi Longstocking, is usually carrying one or more stuffed animals, has an amazing apartment (a block away from my office, rrrowwrrr) filled with the fucking weirdest toys you can imagine, and says things like "I will spend Sunday with a bag of apples!!!!!" and when I follow up later, she will report that it's exactly what she did. She is fucking WEIRD but I kind of love her. I can only hang out with her about once a week, and all of our liaisons have come very suddenly. Perfect example. I had a shitty date last night and right as I got home at 11:30, S texted me to come over and look at her new tuba. I get there and no shit, she has somehow acquired a tuba, though has no plans or intentions to learn how to play it. She said she just liked it. We chatted for 20 minutes about My Pretty Pony and then hit the sack.
The salacious one is something I have to be careful about because it's very sensitive. But I'm also having a clandestine affair with the married mother of one of my son's friends. This is straight up fucked up because she sneaks through the back alley and comes in the back door at midnight, even when my kids are asleep upstairs. We hook up and then she sneaks back home. I'm not entirely comfortable with this but I am a garbage person and it is just *so* convenient that I'm still figuring out how best to take an ethical stand. I'm pretty sure I will end this terrible affair very very soon, like perhaps December.
My kids and their mom are away this week on Spring Break, so it's been an unusually active couple of days. Tonight I'm meeting a 50 year old woman who looks incredible for her age. She's also been very forward and insisted on meeting at a place close to my house, so we'll see about that. And tomorrow night is a woman I've never met but is a friend of my sister's and has apparently seen photos and such, so she emailed out of the blue on Monday and we set up cocktail hour for after work tomorrow.
Finally, there's S, a woman in my neighborhood that I've been out with four times and I really like her a lot. However, I don't think she's as into it as I am, and has been kind of distant. She always readily accepts my invites to meet for dinner, but we have dinner, I walk her home, we hug, and that's it. I get zero vibe that she's particularly interested in moving things forward. I'm also apprehensive about her because if she WAS into getting hot and heavy, I'm sure I'd fall in love with her immediately and then have a major problem on my hands because I can't be in a heavy relationship right now, it's just too soon. So I've stopped texting with S because I don't want to encourage a relationship that I'm not prepared to have and because playing hard to get might make her want me more. I know, I'm an emotional crime scene.