My Journey into having no life at 45

[hutch]

I will be posting about my slow decent into an utterly boring life as a suburban dad....for extra fun my older boy is on the autism spectrum...

Yesterday -yes, FRIDAY night- I took my son to a Tiger Scout meeting......about 1.5 miles from my house....at a public school.. we met some police officers and firemen....a few kids got some badges I couldn't tell for what... they went over what should be in the "emergency bag"...

[walkie,talkie]

I got something you can try, that'll change everything.

[Space Freely]

Hutch, this thread has potential to go places. But you're going to have to rise to Relaxer's level of writing to get it there.

[hutch]

Hutch, this thread has potential to go places. But you're going to have to rise to Relaxer's level of writing to get it there.

that is obviously impossible...Relaxer will one day win the Nobel Prize for Literature for his thread (hey, Bob Dylan just won!)

[Julian, Bespoke SEXPERT]

Hutch, this thread has potential to go places. But you're going to have to rise to Relaxer's level of writing to get it there.

that is obviously impossible...Relaxer will one day win the Nobel Prize for Literature for his thread (hey, Bob Dylan just won!)

Relaxers thread has more to do with "Literature" than Bob Dylan's oeuvre.

[walkie,talkie]

Oh please . . . you guys like relaxers thread because it feels good on your dick.

I plan on jerking off my mind, with this  thread.

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

this thread is really going places...
not sure those are places I want to venture

Relaxer has a tacit intention and weaves a moment of 'fly on the wall' reverie that few boardies can't hold a candle to

with that said, what is with his lack of political commentary
24 days to go and so much skewering to be had

[hutch]

I'm cleaning my house over and over and over again..... my kid has a real real bad cold.. worst thing for a parent is when their kid is sick...

[Relaxer]

This could very easily be the flip side to my thread of debauchery, because I also have the dopey dad side of my life. But rather than chronicle the details of my slow domestic devastation, I choose to highlight the fleeting moments of sexual whimsy that occasionally climax with a few minutes of squishing noises followed by an intense longing for a nap, alone.

For example, this weekend I spent *my* Friday night giving my younger son a haircut with clippers for the first time. How hard could it be, right? I've shaved my bald head for years now, this'll be a breeze!

What I learned is that when you give your child a less-than-desirable haircut, it is not wise to double-down and try to salvage it. It only makes it much, much, much worse.

His head now looks like a field in Kansas infected with an army of crop circles. I have multiple generations furious at me.

[walkie,talkie]

have you noticed . . . that your writing styles are bordering into brilliant, when you talk about sex, then transcend into basic this and that, when you are not.

[Space Freely]

I don't have a boy. But if I ever did, I would never, ever inflict DIY haircuts on him like my dad did to me....resulting in my being mocked by other kids. That's borderline child abuse.

[Space Freely]

My kid bitched and bitched that she didn't want to go to Luray Caverns (mostly because she hates car rides and because some booger eating kid from her class went last year and his germs might still be there). But goddamnit, she needs to get  off the fucking ipad and get out and see the world once in a while.

So we loaded up the car yesterday and off we went. First time any of us have been there. Expensive, but worth it. My two girls loved it. My daughter now wants to go there every year. And she did the neighboring ropes course like a champ. She's not the most athletically interested kid in the world, so I'll take my pride in her physical triumphs when I can.

Then we picked up a picnic lunch and went to a place little walking trail that had picnic tables and had a picnic, complete with some Westbrook Gose we had brought from home. Then we stopped off at Pen Druid and had some more yummy beers. My daughter found a beer trivia game and insisted we play. It was kinda fun. I won the game. Then we stopped by Carousel Treats and had some ice cream we had no business having. We had planned to go apple picking, but we missed the sign or something and by the time we realized it, it was too far to go back. Oh well, apples at Whole Foods are probably cheaper anyway.

So there you have it, that's my suburban dad tale for Sunday Funday.

[walkie,talkie]

you take your kids to a beer brewery?

how, satan, of you.

[Space Freely]

you take your kids to a beer brewery?

how, satan, of you.

One kid. My other girl is my wife. Most breweries are fairly kind friendly, and my kid enjoys most of them. She especially likes ones that dogs are at.

[walkie,talkie]

maybe I am old school . . . but I feel taking your kid to a brewery, is like taking them to a bar.

but what do I know, I like coldplay.