i shall now provide you with an update on my on-hold experience this morning, since i don't want you all losing sleep over this escapade:
i was on hold, on and off, for about 55 minutes. every now and then someone would pick up the line, take my info, and promise to transfer me to the correct dept. i had my phone on speaker and was doing work, so it normally it would have gone by really quickly... except for that lame distorted loop. so painful. after that almost-hour wait, i had to give up and join a work call. so, there is a chance that little piece of auditory hell will be part of my future.