This is some funny shit...
Crooner warns of the ??new order of Armageddon??
Wholesome crooner Pat Boone has gone from ??Love Letters in the Sand? to lines in the sand, judging by his appearance Wednesday at the Heritage Foundation.
The soul-singer-turned-conservative-evangelist was in town to promote his book, ??Pat Boone??s America,? as well as the agenda of the 60 Plus Association, the free market alternative to AARP.
Boone began with a jovial anecdote from his glory days, when Elvis Presley opened for him as an unknown performer who was too shy to even speak to Boone. Boone doubted that the singer would skyrocket to fame the way he did and referred to him as a southern hillbilly. But after Elvis?? career took off, Boone steered toward a life of Hollywood conservatism and lunches with Jerry Falwell.
After warning of the ??new order of Armageddon,? he delineated his vision of the new revolution. Referring to the Supreme Court justices, he said, ??We need a new Boston Tea Party, only this time let??s not waste good tea ?? let??s heap a bunch of black robes into the harbor. It won??t hurt the robes. They can swim out and they can re-enroll in Constitution 101.?
Boone??s speech took a somber turn when discussing the malaise and apathy of today??s youth. Tears began to fall as Boone lamented: ??It grieves me the way young entertainers are deriding our leaders.?
Boone??s ??Moody River? continued, as he castigated Simon Cowell of ??American Idol? for lacking compassion and denounced the desecration of the American flag, saying ??You deface a dollar bill and it??s illegal, but I can defecate on this flag, as many have, and that??s OK.?
Finally, noting that there were songs written for the Army, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard, but none for the National Guard, Boone said he took the chore upon himself, penning ??For Our Country: The Ballad of the National Guard.? He said, ??Bruce Springsteen didn??t do it. Nelly, Eminem and Diddy and Piddy and Poopy and whoever the other rappers are didn??t ?? so I did.? And then he sang it.
