Savage Love
by Dan Savage
May 25th, 2004 12:50 PM
Q. You hate-spewing, body-image-fascism-promoting asshole. I'm a large woman. I read your two incredibly offensive columns about "girl love handles" and the supposed "health risks" of obesity. How dare you oppress women, large and small, with your judgments! Maybe if you enjoyed putting something in your mouth every once in a while that wasn't cock, Mr. Skin and Boners, you would see things differently. At least food is supposed to go in our mouths. Why don't you try swallowing something that wasn't shot down your throat sometime? Food, it's what's for dinner. â??LARGE AND ROYALLY DISGUSTED ABOUT SAVAGE'S SERMONS
A. You neglected to include a sign-off, forcing me to create one for you. I tried to create one that captured the spirit and tone of your letter, and I think I did pretty well. Too bad about the acronym, though, huh?
Secondly, I'm sick of talking about GLH and the obesity epidemic. I would love to move on, but the mail keeps pouring in. Some is from folks who've got my back (thanks, gang), but most is from ticked-off women like LARDASS here. As of this writing, I've received exactly 10,547 pieces of e-mailâ??that's the actual tallyâ?? complaining that my refusal to take the self-esteem-boosting/public-health-shredding position that you can be obese and healthy somehow oppresses women. Interestingly enough, I haven't received a single e-mail about how, say, the Food and Drug Administration oppresses women.
In December the FDA's Reproductive Health Advisory Committee voted 23 to four in favor of making Plan B, the "morning after" birth control pill, available to women, large and small, without a prescription. Plan B is emergency contraception, and women who've had a condom break on 'em or engaged in drunken unprotected sex need to be able to get their hands on it quickly. Plan B is not "regular" birth control, meaning it can't take the place of the pill or condoms. But it is a safe and effective backup that prevents a woman from ovulating or, if a fertilized egg is already present, prevents it from attaching to the wombâ??the fate of half of all fertilized eggs anyway. Plan B is available to women in 100 nations and sold over the counter in 33.
Despite the recommendation of its expert panel, in May the FDA announced that it would not make Plan B available without a prescription. Why? The Bush-appointed asswipes running the FDA claimed they were concerned that Plan B couldn't be used safely by girls between 11 and 15. (Pregnancy at 11, however, girls can handle fine.) By that standard, members of the FDA's expert panel pointed out, no drugs would be available to anyone without a prescription. You can overdose and die on Tylenol, for crying out loud. The real reason the Bushies don't want women to get their hands on Plan B is that they don't want womenâ??young or old, large or smallâ??to be able to control their own reproductive systems. That's oppression, no?
Sorting through 10,547 outraged e-mails, I couldn't help but wonder how many of you took the time to write the FDA and complain about the Plan B decision. If you did, good for you. If you didn't, make amends for obsessing about how my column allegedly oppresses women by calling the FDA on their actual oppression of American women. Call the bastards at the FDA at 1-888-463-6332, or e-mail them via the FDA's website (fda.gov). But considering that the FDA is currently in the hands of Bush-administration appointees (read: Jesus freaks and Bible-thumpers), your time might be better spent sending letters to your representatives in the U.S. House and Senate, which you can do via house.gov and senate.gov. And god bless Canada for being so sensible. Days after the FDA refused to approve Plan B, their government announced that Canadians will soon be able to enjoy over-the-counter Plan B along with gay marriages, socialized medicine, and decriminalized pot.
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Q. How dare you spew your hateful bile! Speech like yours causes violence toward fat womyn. I'm a glorious five feet two and weigh a beautiful 450 pounds. My sisters and I apologize to no one for our looks. We were born this way. The hate must stop! â??BIG WOMYN
A. You were born five feet two, 450 pounds? Did your mother burst like a seedpod? Christ! I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of factâ??being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightlyâ??characterized as "hate speech." (Particularly by people who, like LARDASS, fill their letters with juvenile taunts about my burning hunger for cock.) Perhaps the problem here is that LARDASS and BW lack perspective. My comments only seem hateful to people who haven't read anything truly hateful about fat. Something like, say, this letter from a Brit:
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Q. From a European perspective, it is baffling and hilarious to read the vitriolic, pious, unhinged views that the whole fat "thing" provokes in the U.S.A. To all but a tiny handful of Europeans it is so self-evident as to preclude debate that being above about a size 16 (which translates to a size 10/12 in the U.S., I believe) makes you a lardy, lazy, ugly, unhealthy, sweaty, smelly, unfuckable, unwanted piece of soon-to-die-early shit. Babies in prams will cheerfully tell you this. Their parents will fail to reprove them for it. Even the sensible fatties grin and fess up. "Just love food," they'll tell you. "Know it's killing me, but hey. Life sucks." I smoke 20 fags a day but I don't feel the need to convince the world that I'm actually a sweet-smelling, enlightened, nonaddicted, attractive, healthy guy. I'm a smelly, sick addict on the way to a coronary. Wish it weren't so, but hey. Life sucks. Only myself to blame. The problem in the U.S. isn't that people are fat (which they undeniably are: I've never seen such a collection of sweaty porkers), but that they're so goddamn crazy and angry about being fat. â??SMELLY UNITED KINGDOM SMOKER
A. First, let the record show that I disagree with almost everything in SUKS's letter. That's hate speech and I condemn it. Roundly. Uh . . . soundly. Second, presuming they didn't both die of strokes as they read SUKS's letter, I hereby invite LARDASS and BW to write SUKS angry lettersâ??letters which I will happily forward directly to him after you copy to me the angry letters you sent to the FDA about the Plan B decision.
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Q. To hell with people complaining about fat people and fat people complaining about people complaining about them. I read your column for the freaky shit! Bring me the piss-guzzling, diaper-wearing, leather-clad horsemen! â??DOCTOR ODD
A. I agree, so the fat subject is closed. As for piss-guzzling, diaper-wearing, leather-clad horsemen, we aim to please: Check out boytaur.net for a nice selection of horsemen and boys. None are guzzling piss, wearing diapers, or clad in leather, but I think you'll find them plenty freaky.
