Madonna: Have you ever done anything you feel really, really ashamed of?
Jodie Foster: So, what does it take to impress you, anyway?
Heather Mills: When you were younger, did you ever say you'd give your left leg to marry Paul? You realize the REAL Paul McCartney died in 1966, don't you? Will he cut off the other leg if you expose him as an imposter? Regarding your so-called 'accident', did you save any of the pieces? Have you ever considered how many endangered carnivores could have been fed with your lost parts? Doesn't that make you feel selfish? Have you ever suggested to your husband that you could become a genuine Bionic Woman, a real-life Six-Billion-Dollar Girl? Does he ever accidentally call you 'Eileen' or 'Peggy'?
Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Beck, Issac Hayes, et al: Does your Reactive Mind ever tell you that the Church of Scientology was founded by-- and for-- Mega-Assholes?
Courteney Cox: Does it sting to get your anus bleached?
Terrence Stamp: If you were gay, and I know you're not, and NEITHER AM I, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you were, you know, hypothetically, would you find me ... attractive?
Dan Rather: So, what was the frequency again, Kenneth?
Willie Nelson: ...boxers with skidmarks or briefs with skidmarks?
David Letterman: How in the world did you get that stalker bitch to like you in the first place? Is she completely psychotic, or what? Who'd even entertain a fantasy of being around you, let alone married to you? Can you imagine anyone less personally attractive than you? You, with your revolting diastema? Can you answer without drooling a bunch of smartass diarrhea, you ugly, annoying fuck?
William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy: Isn't it always a thrill to meet your fans?
Paris Hilton: Will you go away?
Justin Timberlake: Will you shut up and go away?
Britney Spears: How often do you sit on the shitter while holding a stash of money in one hand and laughing maniacally at how having no talent can equal success? At least once a week?
G-Dawg Bush: Why AREN'T you doing coke anymore?
Steve Buscemi: Excuse me if I'm wrong, but doesn't SAG have a fuckin' dental plan?
Bruce Willis: So, what have you been doing with yourself since "Moonlighting?
Courtney Love: What do you do for a living? Trying to remember...how was it you became famous? Oh yeah, that's why! Now I remember! So, how did you manage to survive as a useless, rotting, gangrenous appendage? Have you ever purchased any personal care products to control the odor?
Also, Was Kurt asleep when you blew his head off?
