Author Topic: getting married too young?  (Read 8035 times)

sweetcell

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getting married too young?
« on: October 18, 2008, 07:01:00 pm »
didn't want to clog up JA with this:    
Quote
Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
     
Quote
Originally posted by RustyOrgan:
  Dude - Because she's 19??
I see absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever with a 19 year old getting married. [/b]
she has the legal right to do so, but i certainly feel it isn't advisable.  i don't believe that 19 year olds have the maturity or the foresight required to make that kind of a life-long decision.  i believe this to be especially true of men - no man should even consider marriage before age 25.
 
 i'm sure there are stats out there that demonstrate that there is a positive correlation between young age at marriage and divorce rates.
 
 maybe your point was that we shouldn't judge other people's decisions?
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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2008, 07:10:00 pm »
In light of the announcement that Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant and intends to marry her 18-year-old boyfriend Levi Johnston, the New York Times has taken a look at the declining popularity (and success) of teenage marriage.
 
 The median marrying age for women in the late 1950s was about 19, according to David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University and an emeritus professor of sociology there. But a marriage between 19-year-olds -- or even 17- or 18-year-olds -- then would not have been described as a "teenage marriage," he said. It was too routine to be given a special label.
 
 ....Studies show that today teenage marriages are two to three times more likely to end in divorce than are marriages between people 25 years of age and older. The most comprehensive study on marriage and age that sociologists cite was published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2001, from 1995 data, and it found that 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25.

sweetcell

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2008, 09:09:00 pm »
thanks for the stats, charles.
 
 a study on marriage by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - how funny.  is marriage catching?!?  :D
 
 that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
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Herr Professor Doktor Doom

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2008, 09:28:00 pm »
You done too much much too young
 You're married with a kid when you could be having fun with me
 You done too much much too young
 Now you're married with a son when you should be having fun with me
 
 Don't wanna be rich, don't wanna be famous
 
 Ain't he cute, no he ain't
 He's just another burden on the welfare state
 
 Call me immature, call me a poseur
 I'll to spread manure in your bed of roses
 Don't we wanna be rich Don't we wanna be famous
 But I'd really hate to have the same name as you
 
 You done too much much too young
 Now you're chained to the kitchen making currant buns for tea
 
 Ain't you heard of the starving millions
 Ain't you heard of conraception
 Do you really wanna go with the sterilization
 Take control of the population boom
 It's in your living room
 Keep a generation gap
 Try wearing a cap
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Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2008, 10:00:00 pm »
I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20. I'd presume in the liberal hotbed of 930.com, no one has a problem with that. I greatly doubt anyone on here has a problem with 18-21 year olds having romantic relationships and so forth.
 
 So, I guess from my perspective, if she can live with me, why should we live without the legal protection of marriage? If we break up, there's all sorts of legal issues that would come up: who gets the apartment, how are bills split, what if we have a joint checking account, etc etc. The US legal system isn't equipped to divvy up credit card bills or the like from people who are playing house, so if we were married and the relationship ended, we'd be alot better off if we were married.
 
 I'm certainly I am not advocating every two people who are shacking up getting married and I'm not saying divorce is awesome, but I don't think being married and getting divorced is any worse then two people co-habituating and then breaking up. It's a semantic difference, but if you're married, both parties have their interests protected.
 
 Again, I'm not saying everyone should make the same decision, but I can say with a certainty if we're still together 4-6 months down the road, an engagement is definitely in the works. She's a mature, intelligent adult who's well-grounded and I've known for like 6 years. I see absolutely no problem with her getting married and I don't think such an arrangement is any more doomed to failure then two 25-year-olds who drink Colt 45 and wear Abercrombie and Fitch.
 
 And congrats on your engagement, Sweets! You'll have to link me to your registry when you get one!  :)

Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2008, 10:06:00 pm »
You chase in the rat-race
 And you always feel so hollow
 You marry because it's expected of you
 And it only makes you feel more lonely
 
 But still you look down on the teenage dad on
 On his estate
 He's happy so leave him alone
 With his baby
 And his modest home
 He's happy so leave him alone
 With his Jensen Interceptor
 It's just a runaround
 
 You defer to the views of the television news
 Let someone do your thinking for you
 And you still buy a daily newspaper
 And you find everything there but the news
 
 And still you look down on the teenage dad on
 On his estate
 He's happy so leave him alone
 With his baby
 And his modest home
 He's happy so leave him alone
 With his Jensen Interceptor
 It's just a runaround
 
 You become your parents' parent
 And you love them
 But you can't help feeling used
 And you hate the teenage dad on his estate
 Because he's poor but he's happier than you
 They're all laughing at you
 You're a dipper, a slider, cart-horse provider
 Nobody cares about you
 Just as long as you're out there bringing it in
 Despising the grin on the face of the boy
 With the methadone
 With his methadone
 He's happy so leave him alone
 With his methadone
 He's happy so leave him alone

Bombay Chutney

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2008, 10:49:00 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by sweetcell:
  that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations!

Jaguar

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2008, 11:17:00 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:
   
Quote
Originally posted by sweetcell:
  that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations! [/b]
Hold on....Does Samantha know anything about this?
 
 On a more serious note, congratulations! But do be careful because if you cross the line, Big Sister Samantha will whoop your ass.   :D
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Herr Professor Doktor Doom

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2008, 11:24:00 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
  I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20.
Pervert!     :D  
 
 Sweetcell:  congrats!!!
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beetsnotbeats

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2008, 12:12:00 am »
You and yer Specials and Morrissey. Well, here's some Carly Simon, bitches!
 
 My father sits at night with no lights on
 His cigarette glows in the dark.
 The living room is still;
 I walk by, no remark.
 I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
 My mother reads her magazines.
 I hear her call sweet dreams,
 But I forgot how to dream.
 
 But you say it's time we moved in together
 And raised a family of our own, you and me -
 Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
 You want to marry me, we'll marry.
 
 My friends from college they're all married now;
 They have their houses and their lawns.
 They have their silent noons,
 Tearful nights, angry dawns.
 Their children hate them for the things they're not;
 They hate themselves for what they are-
 And yet they drink, they laugh,
 Close the wound, hide the scar.
 
 But you say it's time we moved in together
 And raised a family of our own, you and me -
 Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
 You want to marry me, we'll marry.
 
 You say we can keep our love alive
 Babe - all I know is what I see -
 The couples cling and claw
 And drown in love's debris.
 You say we'll soar like two birds through the clouds,
 But soon you'll cage me on your shelf -
 I'll never learn to be just me first
 By myself.
 
 Well O.K., it's time we moved in together
 And raised a family of our own, you and me -
 Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be,
 You want to marry me, we'll marry,
 We'll marry.

 
 My younger brother married his first girlfriend when he was 21 and she was 19 or 20. No shotguns needed and still strong after 21 years.

sweetcell

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2008, 12:36:00 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Jaguar:
   
Quote
Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:
   
Quote
Originally posted by sweetcell:
  that being said, i've recently become engaged... w00t.
Congratulations! [/b]
Hold on....Does Samantha know anything about this? [/b]
actually, i was hoping to keep this news on the down low... i'm not married yet... <runs away>
 
  :D
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hutch

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2008, 08:40:00 am »
The general rule is men should avoid getting married as long as possible.
 
 A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.

chaz

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2008, 09:09:00 am »
My mom got married when she was 19...look where it got her!!!  Have a life of your own before you have to share every piece of it with someone else, at least that's what I say.  To each is (or her) own though.
 
 I waited til I was 29.  Glad to say 8 years later still happy and going strong.  
 
 All that said, congrats to all you young lovebirds out there!

hutch

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2008, 09:19:00 am »
Also, from what I have seen - and I think there is some empirical proof of this- women tend to be happier and do better when they wait to get married and focus on themselves and their own careers etc.
 
 Obviously its a case by case thing...There are no absolutes in life.. but I'm seeing many friends who got married a few years ago when it was felt it was "time" now getting divorces and it can be very painful..particularly when kids are involved

Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface

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Re: getting married too young?
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2008, 11:31:00 am »
Quote
Originally posted by hutch:
 A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.
Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.