Couldn't resist, with Sloan coming in first (their NYC show opening for Jet was AMAZING -- they blew Jet off the stage, as has become the expected for them as an opening act...)
13 BANDS THAT DRAW ATTRACTIVE WOMEN TO THEIR SHOWS
From
Spendid e-zine I'm not some sort of predatory lounge-lizard, but being single and of the male persuasion, when I go to a show I tend to notice attractive women I would like to (but probably wonâ??t) approach. Hey, if we're both at the same show then we already have something in common, right? Itâ??s a good theory, anyway. Regardless, Iâ??ve noticed that some shows have a greater number of these types of women. Here are 13 of the best bands to watch girls to, based on my own recent experiences.
(Editor's Note: In order to help Jason to approach these women, we've enlisted noted relationship expert Dr. Bruce Connaughton to provide some clever, non-threatening "opening lines". Feel free to try them out yourselves, gents.)
1. Sloan: For hitherto unknown reasons, the ladies come out in force for the Canadian power-pop gods.
Suggested approach: "Hey, nice cardigan."
2. Elliott Smith: Many, many attractive ladies flock to see the dirty, yet sensitive crooner.
Suggested approach: "Sorry if my hair smells. I haven't washed it since my girlfriend left me for my childhood best friend, totally destroying my self-respect and sending me into a downward spiral of drug abuse and ennui. Nice cardigan, by the way."
3. Beulah: The ladies just canâ??t seem to resist this San Francisco octetâ??s wily musical charm.
Suggested approach: "Hey, ladies, wanna meet Miles Kurosky? He's a good friend of mine and loves to share his alcohol."
4. Stereolab: Their brand of stylish retro-pop always seems to cherchez des femmes.
Suggested approach: "Pardon me, miss. Perhaps you could settle a bet: Is it wrong for a guy with a PhD in Philosophy to drive a shiny new Volkswagen Jetta?"
5. Beck: The nineties' funkiest white man always has plenty of comely lasses in tow.
Suggested approach: "Hey, this imported CD of Beck B-sides cost me $30, but if you sleep with me I'll give it to you for $15."
6. Radiohead: Take it from me, Thom & Co.â??s sensitive veneer always gets the ladies going.
Suggested approach: "Life is miserable and plastic and awful. Wanna shag?"
7. Godspeed You Black Emperor!: It was an uncomfortably packed house when I saw the Montreal massive, but one that was nonetheless overflowing with beautiful women.
Suggested approach: "...and if the encore runs more than 20 minutes, I get to sleep with you."
8. Blur: The kings of Britpop always manage to bring them out in droves.
Suggested approach: "Yeah, I hate Oasis too. Wanna shag?"
9. The Dismemberment Plan: Oh, so many hotties in attendance whilst the boys from D.C. are tearing it up.
Suggested approach: "If I told you you had a beautiful body, despite the size XS ringer t-shirt and jeans that haven't been washed since your older sister owned them, would you hold it against me?"
10. Blonde Redhead: I don't know this from personal experience, but it was sworn to me (by JKB) that when this schizophrenic outfit performs, lovely ladies are seldom in short supply.
Suggested approach: "Nice cardigan. Aren't you hot, though?"
11. Flaming Lips: A surprising number of rather attractive women come out so see everybodyâ??s favorite fried psych-pop/rock weirdos.
Suggested approach: "Hiya cutie. Want some acid?"
12. Weezer: All those women who come out to see Sloan have to kill the other 364 days somehow, right?
Suggested approach: "Jeez, they sure suck live, don't they?"
13. Sleater-Kinney: Lots and lots of ladies here, though not all of them take an active interest in the opposite sex.
Suggested approach: "Pardon me -- would you be willing to show me what it's like to be objectified?"
-- Jason Jackowiak and the staff...
