Ladies and Gentlemen. . .the genius of Anna Benson:
"You are a selfish, pathetic excuse for an American, and you can take your big, fat ass over to Iraq and get your pig head cut off and stuck on a pig pole. Then, you can have your equally as fat wife make a documentary about how loudly you squealed while terrorists were cutting through all the blubber and chins to get that 40 pound head off of you." Letter to Michael Moore
"My alpaca will be a great pet, but he'll also make a great new pair of UGG boots when his time is up. And my lambs will graze to their hearts are content, but they will also make a delicious holiday meal that we will give thanks for. Thank you lamb...thank you from the bottom of my stomach." Letter to PETA
"I agree with Freud in his General Introduction to Psychoanalysis that, "a fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." Guns don't kill people; people kill people. ... I have a right to defend myself against bad guys, and if they come after me I will get my gun and shoot them... believe it." Letter to Gun Haters