NINE INCH NAILS NUT BUSTER During a 1991 Nine Inch Nails tour, in 1991,
they were lined up to play Birmingham
Goldwyns. During one song, Trent started a
lame form of crowdsurfing. Not taking well to
be kicked in the face, I found my assailants
bollocks, and dispensed a couple of sharp
jabs to teach him a lesson. You can hear it on
an old bootleg tape I have, as he stops
singing and goes "OOOOF". It was about then I
realised I'd just punched Trent Reznor in the
bollocks.
MOBY BROKE MY TOILET A while back I used to interview visiting pop
starlets for the local listings mag. This time
it was the the turn of Moby, on his first UK
tour and riding high in the charts with his
monosyllabic rave anthem *Go!*. After his slot
our born again vegan hero retired back stage,
only to find his tiny dressing room full of
the gak-hoovering monsters - there was no
chance of conducting an interview in this
environment - so back to my place he came. In
morning, he behaved oddly, refusing to touch
toast because *there may be something in the
bread*... apparently orange juice and muesli
were fine. He then disappeared to the loo,
after which I was to give him a lift to his
train. He was gone for some time. Eventually I
decided to see if he was OK. Just as I was
about to knock on the door, he rushed out,
muttering he was ready to go. In the car he
was very quiet. After dropping him at the
station, I returned home & noticed a puddle
under the toilet door. A glance inside was all
it took! The floor was soaked! The cistern
handle was hanging off, paper strewn over the
floor and in the bowl nestled a single,
perfect popstar turd. I washed it away with a
bucket of water. The repairs cost me £40.
Rock and Roll Stories