Republican National Convention Opening Night Program

[ggw]

Will I see any other forum members there?
 
 Subject: Agenda for Republican Convention
 Be there or be square !
 REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
 CONVENTION SCHEDULE
 New York, NY
 
 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
 8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings Can't Help Lovin Dat Man
 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer in headlights stare.
 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
 10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nations economy.
 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton pinata
 11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
 11:35 PM Blame Clinton
 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
 12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[Venerable Bede]

i'm working on going there for work.

[Bags]

Looks like that schedule is pretty much as expected and covers all the major republican initiatives.  I think y'all got it covered and don't need me....

[godsshoeshine]

lies! the president doesn't drink. clearly the beer bongs are a media/liberal fabrication.
 
 seriously, one time i would love to go to either political convention as an observer at least

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

If I weren't a married man, I would gladly have Laura serve me her cookies and milk.

[Bags]

I don't think I could sit through the Republican convention.  While I love and adore many Republican people, a whole convetion center full of them discussing their agenda would possibly be the cause of my demise as my head simply explodes...
 
 It is amazing, though, how people with good minds and good hearts can differ so amazingly on political and social issues.

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

I would feel the same way at either the Republican or Democratic conventions. What a major collection of big fucking boooooring nerds.
 
 

Originally posted by Bagalicious Tangster:
  I don't think I could sit through the Republican convention.  While I love and adore many Republican people, a whole convetion center full of them discussing their agenda would possibly be the cause of my demise as my head simply explodes...
 
 It is amazing, though, how people with good minds and good hearts can differ so amazingly on political and social issues.

[walkman]

Originally posted by Bagalicious Tangster:
 
 It is amazing, though, how people with good minds and good hearts can differ so amazingly on political and social issues, while those with neither good minds nor good hearts voted for Bush.

exactly.

[twangirl]

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
 
 
 Are you sure Clarence will need a full minute for this?

[Bags]

Originally posted by twangirl:
  10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
 
 
 Are you sure Clarence will need a full minute for this?

I was thinking the same thing.  Maybe he can use the minute to read list of black *and* gay Republicans.

Originally posted by Bagalicious Tangster:
  I was thinking the same thing.  Maybe he can use the minute to read list of black *and* gay Republicans.

Don't gay republicans munch carpet?
    <img src="http://www.ilovebacon.com/051104/bush.jpg" alt=" - " />

[mankie]

With the extra time after Clarence Thomas has read out the list of black republicans, they can all show and tell their military medals.

<img src="http://www.strike-the-root.com/caption4/bush_icecream.gif" alt=" - " />
 
 What's W doing with that French flag on the bus?
   <img src="http://www.strike-the-root.com/caption4/bush_bus.gif" alt=" - " />

[mankie]

I think a better slogan would be
 
 BUSH AND DICK IN 04!
 
 Asscrotch would go for it I'm sure.

Originally posted by Bollocks:
  I think a better slogan would be
 
 BUSH AND DICK IN 04!
 
 Asscrotch would go for it I'm sure.

You had better watch what you say
    <img src="http://www.strike-the-root.com/caption4/bush_shears.gif" alt=" - " />
 or he'll go all Abu-Graib on your ass!  Rumsfeld style!