We sure are kicking some Somali pirate ass

[sweetcell]

International law gives rights to any signing nation the right to hold a suspected criminal detained in international waters to be brought to the infringed nation without negotiating extradition.

The simple answer to fly him back to the states because the crime was committed against US interests (a US ship with US Cargo and hostile action taken against a US citizen).  There really isn't a jurisdictional question here - we just haven't enforced the law in years, but its been on the books forever. 

We also have the option of trying the offender in countries where we have treaties to try criminals found nearby.  At one point we had a treaty with Kenya to try criminals found in Africa that we didn't feel were worthy of extradition to America - if that treaty still exists we could do it there, but given the publicity this case received, I don't see the DoJ not bringing this case to America.

As far as sweetcell's last point - yes, they would most likely have to be in the act, but something as small as impeding a ships progress can be prosecuted.

the goal here is to stop an attack before it turns in to a successful hostage-taking situation.  the window between when an attack is initiated and when a hostage-taking situation has occurred is very small.  limiting intervention to that small window isn't going to solve the problem (the maersk alabama radioed for help when they were under attack. the navy showed up 3 hours later, which is incredibly fast but by then the attack was long over).  assigning a patrol to every cargo ship isn't practical.  pirates need to be stopped preemptively before they have a chance to attack.  my understanding of the situation is that this is the hard part - figuring out how to patrol the area and preemptively arrest pirates before they commit a crime.  what authority does a navy, or mercenaries, have to search a boat in international waters and determine if a boat is full of pirates (vs. innocent but armed individuals)?

i'm fairly sure that the treaty with kenya is still in force.  captured pirates were sent there within the last month.

[vansmack]

To effectively stop piracy off the coast of Somalia, you have to either:

(1) Military Escort groups of ships through the Gulf of Aden and perhaps portion of the Arabian Sea; or

(2) Fix Somalia.


Trying to use international standards and norms with a group that does not play by the rules will be futile.

[sweetcell]

but why should we care, right?

the similarities with afghanistan are striking. 

[walkonby]

To effectively stop piracy off the coast of Somalia, you have to either:

(1) Military Escort groups of ships through the Gulf of Aden and perhaps portion of the Arabian Sea; or

(2) Fix Somalia.


Trying to use international standards and norms with a group that does not play by the rules will be futile.

(2) fix somalia =  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj32WwtnCNM

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Somali Pirates

It seems we can't mistype the channel number for Style or E! and accidently turn on CNN Headline News -- Bloomberg for poor people -- without hearing something about these wild Somali Pirates. Now, be careful, because we said "Pirates"... the first time I saw it in print I thought it said Somali Pilates too, and I was excited because my abs could definitely use a new version of Pilates; Windsor is so two summers ago. Muscle memory!

So, somewhere called Somalia has modern-day privateers running around on their boats, getting tan, and stealing shipments of Zanzibar slacks being shipped to poor kids. This would seem like the snoozer story of the century, because no one I know lives in Somalia, they don't even have an established fashion week in Mogadishu yet! But here's why we would should care: because they're giving boat owners a bad name, and that will spill over to yacht owners, and we do not deserve the bad publicity. A docksider scorned is a docksider denied!

Who's to blame for this rise in seafaring criminality? Look no further than Julian's Somalia mainstays Johnny Depp and the Decemberists. Johnny Depp, as we all know, brought a resurgency to pirates with his Pirates of the Carribbean series, and was single-handedly responsible for the Pirate Chic fashion movement of 2004 that planted the seed for the Hermes scarve trend of 2008, made most famous by The Jonas Brothers who have been pirating jailbait booty (pun intended!) for the last 18 months. Then the Decemberists came along and gave hipster cultural cred to the pirate movement with their indie-prog sea shanties.

In other words, we're all to blame because we should've seen this coming sooner. There has been a pro-Pirate sentiment for the last five years, and we can all look no futher than our undersized Marc by Marc shirts with skull and crossbones. But, there's no point in pointing fingers, we need to be solutions oriented, as we always are here in JS, and fortunately, fair reader, we've got a plan.

What we need to do is start a media blitz explaining two things: (1) that our yachts are not the same as boats, and (2) that facial hair is so middle class. First, we need to inform the public that those of us who travel the sea on a yacht are a superior class of people than pirates or fishermen or waterskiiers who use regular boats. Do pirate ships have a staff of servants and a walk-in humidor? I think not, and the sooner poor people understand that, the sooner they'll stop blaming us for this piracy nonsense. And secondly, we need to make clear that pirates have facial hair, and we do not, because that's some American University-grade "ugh" right there!

So, my Julian's Somali's, we will get through this Somali Pirate crazy soon enough. Its just sad that among all the seizing of ships, stealing of goods, ransoms and kidnappings that quality people such as us can get caught in the crossfire, but apparently we can. Life isn't fair, but it should be more fair to us. So, get out there on your pleasure craft and party it up wild. Remember, if we stay at port, the pirates win. Anchors away... although you might want to stay away from Somalia, wherever that is.

Julian's Somalia Rank: 2.3

[walkonby]

Somali Pirates

It seems we can't mistype the channel number for Style or E! and accidently turn on CNN Headline News -- Bloomberg for poor people -- without hearing something about these wild Somali Pirates. Now, be careful, because we said "Pirates"... the first time I saw it in print I thought it said Somali Pilates too, and I was excited because my abs could definitely use a new version of Pilates; Windsor is so two summers ago. Muscle memory!

So, somewhere called Somalia has modern-day privateers running around on their boats, getting tan, and stealing shipments of Zanzibar slacks being shipped to poor kids. This would seem like the snoozer story of the century, because no one I know lives in Somalia, they don't even have an established fashion week in Mogadishu yet! But here's why we would should care: because they're giving boat owners a bad name, and that will spill over to yacht owners, and we do not deserve the bad publicity. A docksider scorned is a docksider denied!

Who's to blame for this rise in seafaring criminality? Look no further than Julian's Somalia mainstays Johnny Depp and the Decemberists. Johnny Depp, as we all know, brought a resurgency to pirates with his Pirates of the Carribbean series, and was single-handedly responsible for the Pirate Chic fashion movement of 2004 that planted the seed for the Hermes scarve trend of 2008, made most famous by The Jonas Brothers who have been pirating jailbait booty (pun intended!) for the last 18 months. Then the Decemberists came along and gave hipster cultural cred to the pirate movement with their indie-prog sea shanties.

In other words, we're all to blame because we should've seen this coming sooner. There has been a pro-Pirate sentiment for the last five years, and we can all look no futher than our undersized Marc by Marc shirts with skull and crossbones. But, there's no point in pointing fingers, we need to be solutions oriented, as we always are here in JS, and fortunately, fair reader, we've got a plan.

What we need to do is start a media blitz explaining two things: (1) that our yachts are not the same as boats, and (2) that facial hair is so middle class. First, we need to inform the public that those of us who travel the sea on a yacht are a superior class of people than pirates or fishermen or waterskiiers who use regular boats. Do pirate ships have a staff of servants and a walk-in humidor? I think not, and the sooner poor people understand that, the sooner they'll stop blaming us for this piracy nonsense. And secondly, we need to make clear that pirates have facial hair, and we do not, because that's some American University-grade "ugh" right there!

So, my Julian's Somali's, we will get through this Somali Pirate crazy soon enough. Its just sad that among all the seizing of ships, stealing of goods, ransoms and kidnappings that quality people such as us can get caught in the crossfire, but apparently we can. Life isn't fair, but it should be more fair to us. So, get out there on your pleasure craft and party it up wild. Remember, if we stay at port, the pirates win. Anchors away... although you might want to stay away from Somalia, wherever that is.

Julian's Somalia Rank: 2.3

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

I wonder if they have nice Ikea furniture in a Swedish prison (Maybe a BILLY bookcase?)

At least they're still alive. A guilty verdict has come down in the case against Swedish BitTorrent search site the Pirate Bay-- founders Frederik Neij, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, Carl Lundstrom, and Peter Sunde were sentenced to a year in jail and ordered to pay $3.54 million to film and music companies in a Stockholm court today, according to a Billboard report. They were found guilty of "assisting the distribution of illegal content online," but plan to appeal the decision. Meanwhile, The Pirate Bay is still online and everything.

Considering the increasing number of artists (knowingly) giving their music away on the net-- not to mention the hundreds of alternative BitTorrent search sites out there-- this verdict seems like a desperate case of too little, too late. But still, prison is a real thing. Even in Sweden.

For more details, check Billboard's story.

[sweetcell]

Somali Pirates

WINNER.

we missed you, jules... or maybe you're julian's fabu cousin from the southern hemisphere?  who cares, but all accounts you are indistinguishable.  yacht-rock on.

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Yes, to clarify, that was a Julian's SOMALIA column, as Julian's AMERICA does remain under embargo from the soverign state of Hurwitz.