to bill brasky......

[tinygee]

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

[amnesiac]

He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was comin' up the road.

Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery? He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Did I ever tell you about the time I had breakfast with Brasky? Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for eight months straight. When he woke up, he rubbed his eyes and said, "All in all, I prefer gin!"

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

Is this a continuation of the "incessant talkers" thread?

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Originally posted by Etan de Balzac, Footie Ball Player:
  Is this a continuation of the "incessant talkers" thread?

I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury!

[brennser]

I remember one time Brasky took his family to Sea World... they were watching Shamu the whale when Brasky got splashed! So Brasky yells, 'I'm Bill Brasky and no one gets me wet!' So he climbs into the tank, grabs Shamu and throws the whale into the audience, splashes him and yells, 'How do you like it?!' And then damn if Brasky didn't step in there and finish the show!

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle.

[Charlie Nakatestes, Japanese Golfer]

I once ran into Brasky at the Black Cat. He was there drinking down yeagermeisters, complaining about people yelling "Freebird" during all his favorite hipster rock shows. Then he proceeds to tell me about the time he saw Broken Social Scene play at the Cat. Told me they completely sucked. I kind of found it hard to swallow, given the raves that those tastemakers over at Pitchfork had given the band. But really, how you going to question the taste of Brasky?

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

The character Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky... except for the part about planting appleseeds... and not raping men!

Every time Bill comes into the 9:30 club he orders a round of $6.00 Yuenglings for the whole house.  When Brasky pulls out his wallet to pay he grabs the bartender by the scruff of the neck, stuffs him into the cellophane pocket where you keep photos...and tells everyone that it's a picture of his chiropractor!

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Bill Brasky sleeps 8 hours a night! ... Well, actually, I guess in that regard he was pretty normal, but still!

[thirsty moore]

Bill Brasky once climbed Kilimanjaro... on life support!

[Julian, Alleged Computer F**kface]

Originally posted by econo:
  Bill Brasky once climbed Kilimanjaro... on life support!

Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack! Yeah, a day for every chamber. ... When they did the autopsy, they said his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese! They found sixty dollars in change in his stomach

[vansmack]

One time I asked Brasky to dress up like Santa for a Christmas party I was throwing for my children. Yeah, that's them, that's them. Well Brasky shows up as Santa, reaches into his bag and says, 'I've got goodies for you kids.' He proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says 'There is no Santa 'cause I ate him.'