When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

[Justin Tonation]

600 gym teachers object to online gym classes

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Amsterdam bans Red Light District tours

funniest thing isn't the headline...but the Alderman's name
"We do not consider it appropriate for tourists to leer at sex workers," city alderman Udo Kock, who proposed the bill, said in a statement.

If I wrote the headline it'd be:
Aldermand Kock-blocks sex-workers

[grateful]

For more than 30 years bright orange "Garfield" phones have been washing up on the French coast to the bemusement of local beach cleaners, who have finally cracked the mystery behind them.

https://news.yahoo.com/garfield-beach-phone-mystery-solved-30-years-023531370.html

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Kim Kardashian-West is studying to become a lawyer
The reality TV star plans to take the bar exam in 2022

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Apparently the Hoff is going full weeze
https://www.post-punk.com/david-hasselhoff-covers-echo-and-the-bunnymens-lips-like-sugar-and-plans-to-follow-up-with-the-jesus-and-mary-chains-head-on/amp/

[grateful]

Veteran stand-up comedian Ian Cognito has died on-stage - literally. The audience thought it was part of the act. Died with his boots on. That’s commitment to comedy. I’ll never forget his kindness when I started out & how god damn funny he was.

[nkotb]

Really great shit!

Time honors Brett Kavanaugh on 'Most Influential' list — along with his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford

[sweetcell]

Really great shit!

Time honors Brett Kavanaugh on 'Most Influential' list — along with his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford

https://news.yahoo.com/time-100-list-includes-dr-christine-blasey-ford-and-brett-kavanaugh-160820168.html = non-mobile view, for us old fogeys who still use large screens.

[analogfossa]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/04/27/inside-story-man-who-fought-police-over-hash-brown-won/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.46687b5dde3e

[challenged]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/05/08/couple-ate-raw-marmot-believed-have-health-benefits-then-they-died-plague/?utm_term=.205131a09e6d   

[vansmack]

https://twitter.com/mcclure111/status/1126285492838961152

@mcclure111

Left: The Onion, 2015
Right: The New York Times, 2019

[sweetcell]

i think we can close this thread now.  our work is done here.

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

i think we can close this thread now.  our work is done here.

that is pretty rich....life imitating art

[sweetcell]

US energy department rebrands fossil fuels as 'molecules of freedom'

also, "freedom gas".

laugh?  cry?  both?

[Dejecty-hatch lııllı|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl]

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has taken the lead to work on getting rapper A$AP Rocky freed from custody in Sweden after Kim Kardashian West contacted White House adviser Jared Kushner about the issue


although this one takes the cake
A Rap-Loving Bureaucrat From Iowa, Fired Over Too Much Tupac

this is the guy!

"I'm a 66-year-old white guy from the Midwest who likes rap music, who likes Tupac!" he says
"I might seem a little down because today is the 22nd anniversary of 2Pac's death," he wrote once to a staff member)